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Why should W be punished for Kerry's apostasy?

That is not what is happening. The President attended in 2000, however, given Sen. Kerry's position it was decided that he could not be invited, therefore neither candidate should attend. This is not unprecidented, they were not 'punishing' Bob Dole in 1996, rather they were keeping the adulterer in Chief away, and still remaining non-partisan.

"Although scheduling conflicts have kept candidates away in some past election years, the only other time in more than four decades that the nation's presidential candidates were not invited to the dinner was in 1996, when organizers decided not to invite President Bill Clinton after Cardinal John O'Connor criticized him for vetoing a bill that would have outlawed some late-term abortions. His challenger, Bob Dole, was not invited either, to keep the dinner from taking on a one-sided tone."

The Church is not a political football, she is not to be thrown around in partisan games. It should always be all candidates or none - Kerry ensured that it is none.