Department of Wellness (Kerry wants to create it!)

Kausfiles ^ | 9/9/04 | Mickey Kaus

[bmwcyle]

Dept. of Liberal Whining

[tbpiper]

Kerry needs somewhere to put his wife if he wins.

Department of Elastomeric Enclosures?

[dave k]

What about the "Department of Sensitivity"?

What a load!!!

[fortunecookie]

Ping!

[fortunecookie]

Uh, is this what he had in mind?

[Petronski]

See my #20.

[fortunecookie]

Oops, I read it, but failed to note the poster.

fruitarians

What the hell are fruitarians? Is Tuh-ray-zuh their leader?

[decimon]

Here comes WOW (War on Wellness).

[cajungirl]

Hahah,,that is funny. Actually we have a Wellness Dept at LSU run by nattily dressed young women who make posters,pose as health care providers, do yoga, talk about feng shui and get high salaries. I have yet to see anything they do that makes a difference other than having the U congratulate itself on being so "with it"

[najida]

OOHhhhHHHHh!!!!

Group hug everyone!

(but if you start singin' Kum Ba Yah, I'll hurt you.)

[fortunecookie]

It's a little nazi-esque. Ok, a lot. I'm actually overly surprised by this, it is something I had discussed with someone in this vein, "What's next? They monitor our health, our food intake and exercise?" We laughed - and then realized it was just kooky enough for them to try and sell.

I happened to catch Qaeti Khouric this am, by accident, and she was talking to a young woman about (uttered in sinister voice) 'an eating disorder'. Couple that with Dr. Phil's weightloss plans and Oprah and one can see, in a very scary way, how they can be drumming up support for such a debacle. And having a wellness center easily affords them to 'medicate' or 'treat' those with 'disorders' such as political dissenters (in the style of Stalin's forced, thorazine enhanced re-education) and abortions and sterilizations. It could all be closed for discussion and conducted under the umbrella of 'wellness'. Just like the Soviets.

[Petronski]

Qati al-Khouriq? Is she still on television?

[No Surrender No Retreat]

Kerry will also want a (Deapartment of Sandwichology), to insure peanut-butter&jelly sandwiches are USDA approved.

[cajungirl]

I want a Feng Shui department to make sure our Karma and our shocters are all in line.

[Bottom_Gun]

in the words of the Church lady...."isn't that special?"

[fortunecookie]

If only she had looked this good:

She was scowling and was very tan with much lighter hair and pale, glossy lips. I posted her photo, because I'm not sure many of us actually bother to watch her anymore.

[hosepipe]

NEXT: Department of Happiness..circa "1984"..

[fortunecookie]

How about a Department of Read the Constitution and Follow It Faithfully?

But then, if he'd win God forbid, he'd have to hire Bush!!

Sadly, John Flip-Flop Kerry seems to have this base covered, in his own socialist way.

These (leftie) celebrities 'reading' the constitution really just amounts to them pointing out it's inadequacies so that it can be retooled by the 'great thinkers' they hold in such esteem like Johnny Flip-Flop. You know, the 'constitutionality' of abortion, the unconstitutionality' of gun ownership, well, you get it... And being the civic-minded, grand celebrities that they are and knowing how we strive to emulate them, they can easily win us over, right? Well, all but us 'right wing extremists', but we don't count anyway and they like to say we are the minority...

[NRA1995]

Since 9-11 was supposedly caused by a lack of imagination, I propose the Dept Of Imagination....."Imagine there's no terrorists....it's easy if you try...."

[Jaded]

Now that's a drug induced touchy-feely song. I'd rather group hug, hold hands, dance around in a circle and sing:

Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Kumbaya my Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's laughing, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Someone's crying, Lord, kumbaya
Oh Lord, kumbaya

(snipped for relevant verses)