A NATION OF PEACE

Archaeus | Aarchaeus

[Aarchaeus]

A NATION OF PEACE

It’s two thousand and five, and I’m allowed to say
A short piece about America, and how it is today.

Now my story starts with how the last election went—
We got a new commander-in-chief, a.k.a. president.

Now there were people in the world who wanted to do us harm
But our new commander-in-chief said, “There’s no cause for alarm.

I’m sure they’re good folks, so it won’t be so grim,
They won’t attack us if we just don’t offend them.

So we can save a lot of money if our arsenal is cut down,
I’ve never liked us having weapons, I don’t like having them around.”

So missiles, bombs, and even rifles were all taken away—
For a new era of peace, help was on the way.

Then when Al-Qaida heard that our disarming had come to pass,
Their response was overwhelming—they attacked us en masse.

The soldiers we had left did what they could to defend,
But they couldn’t do enough, and disaster did impend.

Though every man in uniform had responded to the call,
All they had to fight with was a million SPITBALLS!

Now Americans still have freedom, as long as we obey,
Including freedom of religion—we ARE allowed to pray.

We can kneel upon our rugs and bow toward the East
And give our thanks to Allah—we’re finally a nation of peace!

[Aarchaeus]

I really, really hope that after the November election this is obsolete and irrelevant, but it was still fun writing it.

[familyop]

...good work! But for reality's sake, I think some mention of millions of public beheadings of all who refused to convert would have been appropriate.

[Aarchaeus]

Yes, it would have, but my lunch-break was over.

[familyop]

"Yes, it would have, but my lunch-break was over."

Wow! It takes me days and days to write one column.