Posted on 08/30/2004 9:56:07 PM PDT by Bernard Marx
05/06/04 NEW BRUNSWICK, New Jersey
Senator John Kerry, the recipient of three Purple Hearts, has signed a contract with Johnson & Johnson to endorse a new line of band-aids.
The band-aids will be small purple hearts designed to cover minor, superficial wounds like Kerry suffered as a lieutenant in the Vietnam War.
"We're proud to be working with Senator Kerry," said a Johnson & Johnson spokesperson. "We plan to use actual shrapnel removed from his arm in our ad campaign to highlight the small size of our J&J Band-Aid brand Purple Heart bandages."
The doctor who treated Kerry at Cam Ranh Bay, Vietnam, recently described the procedure used to treat the wound that won the senator his first Purple Heart.
"First, I located the wound with the aid of a magnifying glass," said Dr. Louis Letson. "Then, I used a pair of tweezers to extract the shrapnel, which measured approximately one centimeter in length and two to three millimeters in diameter.
"Finally, I covered the wound with one of those little round band-aids people use to cover corns on their toes."
The Band-Aid endorsement is not the first for Senator Kerry.
It comes on the heels of two other high-profile endorsement deals Kerry has signed with Waffle House and Flip-Flops, Inc.
©2004 RealStupidNews.com
Yeah, but do they come with forged citations?
Yeah, they probably even have John Lehman's "signature" on them.
Ironically, I made this ad many, many months ago -- long before the Swifties made news :)
Aw cammon - Kerry got those purple hearts fair and square with the aid of some Heinz Ketchup!
You are not politically correct sir -- at Harvard you'd be a "person of hench."
Dang, genius should be rewarded!
Didn't the Heinz ketchup company have a purple ketchup back a while ago along with the green ones?
They are called a "Purple Owie"!
Terry "The Punk" Mcauliffe is reportedly throwing a hissy about these band-aids. Smooth move, punk, now everybody will be wearing them.
Bush with a clear victory in November is reward enough!
Works for me!
Word of mouth is always the best advertising. And McAuliffe certainly has a mouth.
That's really great, Hank. Did you do it?
"And try our ultra-miniature stickums. Swallow two with a half-cup of water. Just right for those 'seared -- seared into your brain' scorches."
"We plan to use actual shrapnel removed from his arm in our ad campaign to highlight the small size of our J&J Band-Aid brand Purple Heart bandages."
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
Do we examine the shrapnel under a microscope?
Blessings, Bobo
I'm not even smart enough to think of it. www.sacredcowburgers.com - the logo is on the graphic if you look closely.
Please, please, please tell me I can buy a box somewhere!
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