Daily Kerry Crack-ups - August 29-30, 2004 (Photos)

Does anyone have a pic of John Edwards attempting to jog?
Have you seen him? It is hilarious.

"Have you seen him?"

No, I haven't seen that one. Now you've got my curiosity up.

It sure looks like he is making fun of the statue doesnt it?

a 60+ year old man windsurfing.

A Senator.

A Presidential hopefull in a hot campaign.

Way to legistlate Senator Kerry.

. . no helmet?

He's been to Church and not had anything fall from the sky before, why would the abortion supporter worry now?!

He's locked up the windsurfer vote fer sure, dude.

Only windsurfers with no backbone.

I rarely post, but this picture of Kerry windsurfing demonstrates how far separated he is from the common folk.

Here he is, taking a break from his campaign, while being paid for his Senate duties, which he has woefully shirked. I'd love to have a job where I didn't have to show up for work, get paid, and flaunt my extravagant lifestye in the faces of the very people who hired me with no fear of being fired.

If I was from Mass., I be organizing a campaign to have this goldbricker outsed from the senate post haste.

"Shhhhh, dad's out saving another hamster. He says a mine blew him off
the boat but we think dad simply made a sharp turn to get out of there."

WINDSURFER WATERLOO
why the surfboard--not the snowboard--is Kerry's Achilles' heel

by Mia T, 9.26.04

THE HOT DEBATE OVER THE WINDSURFING AD [09/23 11:54 AM]

There is apparently much debate about the windsurfing ad over at the Corner. Here's the CNN summary of the charges and countercharges so far:

Underscoring the Bush attacks was a new television ad showing Kerry windsurfing to the strains of the "Blue Danube" waltz. A narrator reads a list of what the Bush campaign contends are the senator's vacillating positions on the Iraq war, education and Medicare.
The ad ends with the tag line: "John Kerry. Whichever way the wind blows."
The Kerry campaign reacted angrily to the ad, charging that its "lighthearted" approach was inappropriate in the middle of a war.
"This is a shameful advertisement that shows a disturbing disregard for those fighting and sacrificing in Iraq," said Kerry spokesman Mike McCurry, who demanded that the president repudiate it.
Edwards offered a similar critique during an appearance in Miami, Florida.
"Today George Bush is laughing again. Over 1,000 Americans have lost their lives. Americans are being beheaded. Iraq is a mess, and they think this is a joke," Edwards said. "It is clear they have no idea how to protect our troops, but they will do anything to protect their jobs."
Bush campaign spokesman Scott Stanzel defended the ad, saying that "what's disturbing is John Kerry's various shifting positions on the war on Iraq."
"What the ad spells out is that it's important to have a leader whose word we can believe not only on the day they say it but the next day as well," Stanzel said. "There is no weather vane on top of the White House. This country needs leaders who stand for something when the times are good and when the times are bad."
The Kerry campaign released a new spot, denouncing the windsurfing commercial as "a juvenile and tasteless attack ad."

Thought one: There's a quick and easy way that Kerry can stop the ads that are calling him a flip-flopper: Stop flip-flopping.

Thought two: If you don't want the Bush campaign to run ads featuring footage of John Kerry windsurfing, stop inviting television crews to record Kerry windsurfing.

Thought three: If the ad is so "juvenile and tasteless", why does the new Kerry ad not show the picture of John Kerry windsurfing? Could this be because some focus group somewhere concluded that windsurfing looks like a pastime of the idle rich?

Your humble correspondent wonders if the Blue Danube waltz was the wrong music for the commercial. Maybe Doris Day/Mari Wilson/Lila Downs "Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps":

You only tell me 'Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.'
A million times i ask you,
and then i ask you over
again, you only answer
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
if you can't make your mind up,
we'll never get started.'

UPDATE: About a billion Kerry Spot readers point out that the Kerry campaign is complaining about a lack of seriousness right after their man has done interviews with Jon Stewart, David Letterman, Dr. Phil, and Regis.

Kerry Spot
[jim geraghty reporting]
NRO

vehicular SUVicide
NEW virtual john kerry can bore + snowboard at the same time series

(viewing movie requires Flash Player 6, available HERE)
thanx to jla for the audio

johnkerryisdangerousforamerica.blogspot.com

Windsurfing in the Persian Gulf
WHY JOHN KERRY IS DANGEROUS FOR AMERICA

by Mia T, 9.24.04

Kerry is UNFIT #21:
THUMBSUCKER SERIES
-BOARDHEAD TO THE RESCUE-
(viewing movie requires Flash Player 7, available HERE)

"I mean, I was in Safwan. I went there when the signing of the armistice took place at the end of the war."

John Kerry
The O'Reilly Factor, 2001

ohn Kerry's odd phrasing, above, suggests he was more likely windsurfing in the Persian Gulf than witnessing the signing of the Gulf-War cease fire. (Kerry's prior relevant vote, as well as his tawdry dilettantish tendencies, would tend to support this view.)

Similarly, Kerry's statements about the Iraq War hint at cognitive and ethical, if not corporeal, absence; they tell us more about John Kerry than simply what his Iraq-War politics may be.

WINDSUCKER

Anyway the wind blows is fine with me Anyway the wind blows, it don't matter to me: --Frank Zappa

Windsurfing, like war, transcends the particular in its revelations about John Kerry. Although windsurfing is delicious metaphor--witness the recent Bush-Cheney ad--windsurfing in its most literal, technical sense is what best exposes Kerry for what he is--a wussy, opportunistic fraud.

RIGGED

Kerry's gear is the dead giveaway.

Kerry sails on what boardheads call "light air,"--one just cannot escape the metaphors here-- i.e., a gigantic sail estimated at 11 square meters, and a humongous board providing redundant flotation.

According to expert windsurfer, Paul Kotik:

"No hard-core windsurfer would be caught dead on a rig like that. If you need a sail that big and a board the size of the Titanic, then guess what ? It isn't windy enough to go sailing! Real sailors head out when high winds call for sails in the 5 square meter size, or smaller, and boards so small (and therefore fast and maneuverable) that they won't even float the sailor unless they are moving along at a decent clip. They are big skis, not small boats. Kerry's wussy rig is what you use when you must be seen to be windsurfing. Sailing a rig like that is to real windsurfing what skippering a supertanker is to riding a jetski... The hardcore windsurfer's credo is "Just say 'no" to six-point-oh", meaning that if you need a sail in a size bigger than 5.0 square meters, there ain't no point."

A windsurfer friend of mine, Rod, adds this observation, "Long boards typically have something called a centerboard or a daggerboard which acts as a fulcrum for turning large boards like [Kerry's]. Daggerboards are for total weenies."

Visible in Kerry's Nantucket windsurfing photo-op video is what appears to be evidence of a daggerboard--the knob on top of the board that controls dagger position.

Rod continues, "Up-hauling is another weenie windsurf situation. If... you [can] stand on top of the board and pull the mast up out of the water to begin sailing, there is very little wind. Water starting is... what keeps most people out of the experienced ranks... It is the only way to start in high wind/deep water conditions."

Conversely, according to Rod, some wind is required in a water start. "In a water start, you are not standing on anything, just floating in deep water. You 'fly' the sail, controlling it just inches above the your head and the water, moving your feet onto the board; the sailor pops the sail up filling it with wind, which pulls [him] up onto the board in one maneuver and propels the board forward."

Kerry's gigantic sail suggests a deliberate wind-avoidance strategy and, hence, an up-hauling, not water-starting, boarding technique scenario. Indeed, given Kerry's reflexive avoidance of high wind/deep water conditions over the years, weenie up-hauling is the only credible scenario.

John "One Position on Iraq" Kerry's 1971 Replay

(viewing movie requires Flash Player 7, available HERE)

NEW! compleatjohnkerry.blogspot.com

NEW! unfitforcommand.blogspot.com

johnkerryisdangerousforamerica.blogspot.com

election update!
JOHN KERRY IS UNFIT~THE SERIES

WINDSURFER WATERLOO
why the surfboard--not the snowboard--is Kerry's Achilles' heel

Windsurfing in the Persian Gulf

John "One Position on Iraq" Kerry's 1971 Replay

YOO-HOO DAN RATHER!
KERRY'S BELATED "HONORABLE" DISCHARGE:
Is a less-than-honorable discharge and clinton "pardon" behind Kerry's refusal to sign form 180 to release ALL of his records?

RATHERGATE IS ANOTHER WATERGATE: The Nexus

CARL BERNSTEIN: RATHERGATE MAY BE ANOTHER WATERGATE

CLUELESS: O'REILLY AND PODHORETZ ON RATHERGATE

THE KERRY-RATHER-BARNES FORGERIES DECONSTRUCTED

HEAR THE FIRST VEEP DEBATE NOW! (the whole ball of wax)
CHENEY WARNS AMERICA: THIS ELECTION IS ABOUT OUR SURVIVAL
KERRY-EDWARDS TRIES TO SHUT DOWN DEBATE

KERRY'S VIETNAM FIXATION
PART 1: advice from bill

Kerry's new W offensive

YOO-HOO! UNDECIDEDS + "PERSUADABLES"
HEAR THE SPEECH JOHN KERRY DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR
(WHY INFORMED, RATIONAL DEMOCRATS WILL VOTE FOR BUSH)

DECONSTRUCTING ZELL MILLER

EXPLOITING MAX CLELAND

Kerry is UNFIT #21: THUMBSUCKER SERIES
BOARDHEAD TO THE RESCUE

T he Left's Fatally Flawed "Animal Farm" Mentality
(Why America Must NEVER AGAIN Elect a Democrat President)

Kerry is UNFIT #20: THUMBSUCKER SERIES
PREEMPTION-(the whole ball of wax)

CONTEMPLATING KERRY'S "GUT"

A PRESIDENT KERRY MAY BE ABHORRENT
...BUT IS IT EVEN CONSTITUTIONAL?

getting kerry's goat
john kerry lacks presidential temperament

Two Psychologists on Kerry: Dangerous on National Security

YOO-HOO! followthemoney.org. . .
OVER HERE!

"bombastic ass" is not the antidote to "boorish ass"
(or why Keith Olbermann Cannot Do Cleanup for Chris Matthews)

UNFIT #19:
JOHN KERRY'S "MORE SENSITIVE WAR ON TERROR"

THE COMPLEAT JOHN KERRY
WHY JOHN KERRY IS DANGEROUS FOR AMERICA

Kerry, NOT Bush, paralyzed by 9/11 attacks
Hear Kerry admit he could not think

THE DEMOCRATS ARE GONNA GET US KILLED (kerry, clinton + sandy berger's pants) SERlES³UNFIT #10: 9/10 mindset

THE DEMOCRATS ARE GONNA GET US KILLED (kerry, clinton + sandy berger's pants) SERlES₂
KERRY-DEMOCRAT CONTEMPT FOR NATIONAL SECURITY[annotated]

THE DEMOCRATS-ARE-GONNA-GET-US-KILLED (kerry, clinton + sandy berger's pants) SERlES₁

dox in sox on lummox in box on fox

THE REAL "REAL DEAL"
(what Kerry's commanders and crewmates REALLY think of him--with transcripts)

Did John Kerry pick a running mate or hire a lawyer when he selected John Edwards?

THE MAN FROM HOPE: been there, done that

"Hope is on the way!" (the scoop)

THE TERRORISTS' USEFUL IDIOTS
all the usual suspects

A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for the Terrorists

ELECTION BOTTOM LINE:
TERRORIST SYMPATHIZER or TERRORIST ANNIHILATOR

JOHN KERRY IS UNFIT SERIES: 8/10/04 UPDATE!
taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief

JOHN KERRY IS UNFIT SERIES:
taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief

UNFIT #9-JOHN KERRY: DEADLY OPPORTUNIST
SELF-CONFESSED WAR CRIMlNAL MORPHS INTO SELF-PROMOTER WAR HERO

UNFIT #6: The Deadly Kerry-Hollywood Axis
HOW CAN YOU PUT YOUR CHILDREN'S LIVES IN ITS HANDS?

UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#1-making the tough choices in a post-9/11 world
UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#2-understanding the job description

UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#3-sang-froid and the "nuclear" button

UNFIT: taking the measure of a would-be commander-in-chief
#4 - Kerry champions tolerance for terrorists

sanitizing evil
Kerry Cabal Censors Nick Berg Decapitation

"Loose Cannon" Kerry's AWOL/PURPLE-HEART FRAUD

pro-islamofascist-terrorist radical chic

USEFUL IDIOTS

MOORE IS LESS--THE MOVIE

The Cycle of Violence:
NOW WITH HYPERLINKED INSTRUCTION MANUAL

JOHN KERRY'S RECKLESS TET-OFFENSIVE-GAMBIT REPLAY:
the left's jihad against America is killing our troops, aiding + abetting the terrorists and imperiling all Americans

bill clinton, boy "genius," unwittingly bares all on BBC

deconstructing clinton… "just because I could"

vetting missus clinton...

The Parallel Universe of Jamie Gorelick

nepotism + tokenism = a nancy pelosi
(or a hillary clinton)

Kerry's Belated Condemnation Focuses on Process
Kerry Lacks Moral Authority to Condemn Content

"CRY BUSH" + Iraqi-Prisoner "Abuse"
What are the Dems up to?

DON'T BELIEVE YOUR LYING EARS (The Perjurer Returns)
(Clinton: Claims I Turned Down Bin Laden are 'Bull')

The Mary Jo White Memo:
Documentation of clintons' and Gorelick's willful, seditious malfeasance

What is the REAL Reason for Gorelick's Wall?

giant sucking sound
KERRY MAKES DUKAKIS LOOK CONSERVATIVE, SMART + JUDICIOUS

Q ERTY6 ^utter ^failure_BUMP

Lib Author Regrets Voting (TWICE!) for clinton
"Sickened" by clinton's Failure to Protect America from Terrorism

MUST-READ BOOK FOR DEMOCRATS:
How clintons' Failures Unleashed Global Terror
(Who in his right mind would ever want the clintons back in the Oval Office?)

The Man Who Warned America
(Why a Rapist is Not a Fit President)

UDAY: "The end is near… this time I think the… Americans are serious, Bush is not like Clinton."

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