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This Olympic Shuttlecock is no Poppycock (Dave Barry)
Miami Herald ^ | Aug. 20, 2004 | Dave Barry

Posted on 08/22/2004 6:53:54 AM PDT by nuconvert

This Olympic Shuttlecock is no Poppycock

DAVE BARRY

ATHENS -- They don't play badminton at the Olympics the way you play it at home. The way you play it at home is, once every three to six years, usually on the Fourth of July, you dig out your cheesy drugstore badminton set, which is buried deep in the closet with your cheesy drugstore croquet set, the two sets having intermingled over the years to form a new sport, ''crominton,'' or maybe ``badquet.''

You spend the next hour and a half trying to assemble the poles and untangle the net, which has formed itself into a dense, impenetrable knot of string about the size of an apricot. While the kids are waiting for you, they entertain themselves by whacking the shuttlecock around and shouting ''Shuttlecock!'' -- now their favorite word in all the world.

Finally, with the help of a kitchen knife, you get the net and poles set up. It's a shaky structure, and several croquet wickets are dangling from it. But never mind: It's finally time to play badminton!

Except you can't, because the kids have hit the shuttlecock onto the roof. They're now back inside playing video games, although they will continue to shout ''Shuttlecock!'' for several weeks. You consider getting out the ladder to climb onto the roof, but just then a particle of ragweed pollen drifts into the net, causing it to collapse instantly. And so, having finished with the sport of badminton for another three to six years, you head inside for a beer.

That's not how they play badminton here at the Olympics. For one thing, they play inside a spanking-new Olympic facility surrounded by security to keep away the terrorists, who are known to consider badminton a prime target. Inside the facility are grandstands occupied by shouting, flag-waving spectators from nations such as Korea and Indonesia, where badminton is a huge sport. If you were a professional badminton star in one of these nations, fans would recognize you, and follow you, and adore you, and only my maturity and tastefulness are preventing me from making a shuttlecock joke here.

The Olympic badminton game itself is also quite different from your backyard game. Instead of hitting the shuttlecock onto the roof, the opposing players -- who are crouching across the net from each other, about as far apart as Ted Koppel's ears -- hit the shuttlecock directly at each other at approximately the speed of light. So a typical point takes about two seconds -- zipzipzip -- followed by wild Indonesian applause.

One of the better doubles teams here is the Malaysian pair of Chan Chong Ming and Chew Choon Eng, although the top-seeded doubles team is Koreans Ra Kyung Min and Kim Dong Moon. Incredibly, the highly regarded Thai team of Sudket Prapakamol and Saralee Thungthongkam was beaten by Swedes. I tell you this because I know you care about Olympic badminton, not because I think these are funny names. Also, because I know you care about Olympic equestrian competition, you should be aware that one of the British horsepersons is named Pippa Funnell, and the British team manager is Yogi Breisner.

In closing: Shuttlecock!


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: badminton; barry; davebarry; humor; olympics; shuttlecock

1 posted on 08/22/2004 6:53:55 AM PDT by nuconvert
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To: nuconvert

I watched the gold medal match in badminton - it was exciting to watch! Really! Shuttlecock!


2 posted on 08/22/2004 6:58:08 AM PDT by didi
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To: nuconvert
Call me nuts, but I thought that the Badminton shown on Bravo and CNBC was the most entertaining sport I've watched in these Olympics. None of the players had 'bling-bling' or tattoos, and I appreciated their skills.
3 posted on 08/22/2004 7:01:30 AM PDT by Pukin Dog (Sans Reproache)
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To: nuconvert
On a similar vein.....

Many years ago I watched the Bean-Bag Championship, it was played in Paris ----
many people were killed.




Ok, I stole that from W.C. Fields

4 posted on 08/22/2004 7:05:02 AM PDT by Condor51 (May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't. -- Gen G. Patton Jr)
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To: nuconvert
Back in the 1960's I broke my arm playing college badminton. Actually my elbow was chipped when my partner broke her racket on my arm. It still hurts to think about it.
5 posted on 08/22/2004 8:12:05 AM PDT by Irish Queen
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To: nuconvert

I too have a badminton set in my shed that I have only taken out 2 or 3 times in the past 15 years. But I never knew that rubbery thing with a plastic tail was called a "shuttlecock" until I read this article. And yes, I have lost these "shuttlecocks" up on the roof and usually recover them in the fall when I clean my gutters.


6 posted on 08/22/2004 8:18:22 AM PDT by SamAdams76 (Junior Brown rocks the house...)
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To: nuconvert

Badminton....a sport named after a town in England..or is it the other way around? Dittos Rugby.


7 posted on 08/22/2004 8:19:10 AM PDT by xp38
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To: nuconvert

Very entertaining story.

I used to be on my old school badminton team. Loved the sport, but gave it up during my college years, because there was no gym on our campus.

Great means of getting fit.
Must see if I can find myself a badminton partner....hmmm.


8 posted on 08/22/2004 8:25:23 AM PDT by Happygal (Liberals - fully au fait with their 'rights', utterly ignorant of their responsibilities)
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To: Condor51; nuconvert
The American Cornhole Association is an organization chartered with the sole purpose to promote the game of Cornhole or Corn Toss.

It's only a matter of time till this sport catches on and becomes an Olympic sport.

9 posted on 08/22/2004 9:47:05 AM PDT by raybbr (My 1.4 cents - It used to be 2 cents, but after taxes - you get the idea.)
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