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The Hobbit Hole :: Troop Support Projects
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Posted on 08/17/2004 2:27:21 PM PDT by TBP
PORTLAND, Oregon – Fending off a potentially election-wrecking Green Party candidacy of consumer advocate Ralph Nader, John Kerry has admitted to members of the Oregon chapter of the Sierra Club that he is, in fact, an “Ent”.
“I think back fondly,” reminisced Kerry, “to a time when being a tree was a safe way to go through life. Birds would nest comfortably upon my brow. My leaves would turn beautiful shades of gold and bronze and plum. The forest, my home, was a happy place.”
Speaking at a fund-raiser in Portland, Kerry talked about the prejudices “big business” has against organic matter, specifically, trees such as himself.
“When the loggers came back in ’63, I was but a teenager, just barely making rings,” said Kerry. “I lost some very dear family members who were sawed to death and put through humiliating ‘competitions’ to see how quickly a lumberjack could shimmy up their dead, rotting trunks. All the while, President Bush was ‘serving’ in the Air National Guard, and I was aging prematurely.”
Luncheon attendees sobbed as Kerry went on to recollect the loss of plant life to the Tennessee Valley Authority project during World War II, and the great Yellowstone forest fires of decades past.
“Ask anyone of my friends,” challenged Kerry, “and they’ll tell you where they were when they heard about Yellowstone. My goal is to prevent future ecological disasters, if you’ll give this wise old plant your vote.”
Kerry sported a fine green coat of silver maple leafs – a surprising nod to his promise of better relations with Canada – and a lovely “chocolate” bark with textured moss.
The most embarrassing moment came when a young lady asked the political candidate if he’d ever been “carved”. Laughter erupted as Kerry responded, “Lady, my sap’s been tapped!”
In related news, Senator Kerry had no comment on the Asian Beetle that burrowed into his navel."
Well he does seem to be covered in bark rather than skin. Unfortunately it's a very thin and overly sensitive bark.
"My truth is that I am an Ent American."
Does anyone have a tape of this?
This would play really well in middle America. (/sarcasm)
whoops, it was a joke...
"I cannot tell a lie." John Kerry said as he stood beside the freshly chopped down tree, an ax in his hand. "George Bush did it."
I guess that explains why he's so longwinded.
Uh, what's an 'ent?'
The Ents are a race of ambulatory, talking trees, who appear in J.R.R. Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. He based the character of Treebeard -- the grandfather of the Ents -- on his good friend C.S. Lewis.
Oh.
LOL
After which, he said... "Hrrroooom".
Entish ping.
HE IS NUCKING FUTS!!!
If he's an ent, then he's on Sauraman's side.
I thought Algore was an ent...
John Kerry Bends to Green Party, Announces He’s an Ent
Title should read....John Kerry "McGreedys" to Green Party
This can't be right. The Ents had actual personalities.
Ring Ping!! |
The Hobbit Hole :: Troop Support Projects
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12 Jan. 1969 The other boats have business with the VC. My business is in Cambodia tonight...with rock and stone.
ROTFL!! Yeah, Kerry's drone could put others to sleep, a la, Pippin being droned to sleep by Treebeard.
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