There's a new Sheriff in town Cowboy fans. The longer Jerry Jones has anything to do with the Cowboys, the more popular the Texans are becoming.
Posted on 08/13/2004 4:55:26 AM PDT by WrightOnTarget
This is the time of year when men all across the country become giddy with anticipation, and this time it has nothing to do with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. It's the season when men begin checking their remote controls for proper function, arrange a redundant backup plan in case of a systems failure in remote number one, kiss their wives good-bye, and do their part for the economy by bravely pushing Frito-Lay and Anheuser-Busch stock to new heights. It's a time when blood, sweat, and tears are shed, and yet we bravely move forward undaunted - mainly because it's not our blood, sweat, and tears. Praise be, it's almost football season!
At this moment, the stadiums are quiet-- emptier than Anna Nicole Smith's CAT scan photo. But soon there will be an eruption of humanity watching their heroes attempt to metaphorically prove how much better their town is than the rival town.
Obsessive football fans have already had the Hank Williams Jr. song, "Are you ready for some football" bouncing around inside their heads like musical Flubber since just after the Pro Bowl back in February. When football season ends, you can sense a distinct national depression among the male population. Some men jump straight into hockey season for an uninterrupted supplication of their sporting needs, but most go into a deep emotional hibernation-- a yearly slumber which this year is, thankfully, being facilitated by political conventions.
As football fans, we're also concentrating on putting last year behind us. We've wiped the slate clean. Your team didn't make the playoffs? Forget about it. That's the beauty of the sport. Every season starts anew, and hope springs eternal--at least until your team's first round draft pick dislocates a shoulder in training camp.
When I say "wipe the slate clean", I only hope that's true for my team, the Detroit Lions.
In years gone by, when the Lions heard, "Are you ready for some football?" They've collectively yelled back, "No!"
For the past few seasons, Lion victories are so rare that they're not referred to in Detroit as wins, but rather as solstices. The Lions last won championships back in the 50's, when the nation "liked Ike." Then, in 1975, when Tina Turner hated Ike, the team got a new domed stadium, and you know what? They continued to stink. After a brief playoff stint in the early 90's, the team was back to its old ways, but, despite that, got an impressive new home: The $300 million Ford Field. In their first season on the brand-spankin' new gridiron, the Lions won three games there. That's $100 million per victory. Show me any other city willing to make that kind of commitment to their team.
But it isn't the wins or losses that makes football great-okay, it is-- but it's also the atmosphere and feeling of brotherhood that comes with being a fan amongst fans. In the stadium, people from all walks of life (who could afford a $75 ticket and a couple of $9.50 beers), political beliefs and ethnic backgrounds come together and, alas, find that they have something in common: A desire to see the opposing quarterback treated like peanut brittle in Brian Dennehy's back pocket.
With the beginning of football season comes events and happenings that are purely American. Excluding British courts and blootered spring breakers in "Girls Gone Wild" videos, where else can you see people put on silly big wigs, paint their faces, expose their chests, and whatever else, and make complete fools of themselves on national television?
It's almost here. I can envision game day already. I can smell the ribs cooking on the barbecue, and see the people at a tailgate party consuming beer like there's no tomorrow--because there may not be if the field goal kicker's foot isn't strong and true. There's a man deep- frying a turkey in a gutted washing machine basin. I see a guy wearing a cheese hat, handing out Tostitos and letting people dig into the melting cheddar on his head. Another group nearby is bowling, using empty Heineken bottles as pins and knocking them down by rolling an empty pony keg at them. I look at my watch. It's only eight a.m. Still five hours to kickoff. Awesome.
Are you ready for some football? I am.
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Doug Powers' column on the day-to-day issues faced by men around the world appears regularly in MensNewsDaily.com, and his column of political observations can be read every Monday at WorldNetDaily.com. Doug's work has appeared in The Washington Times and numerous other newspapers and magazines around the country. He can be reached via his website .
It's a big year...
Can Notre Dame survive another year like last year's debacle?
Can Nebraska's new coach and offense carry them to the Big XII Championship game (I think it can, being a Cornhusker fan :-)
Can USC and LSU keep winning?
Will someone other than LSU and KState figure out Oklahoma's offense and clobber them?
Will Texas finally beat Oklahoma?
And one of the first games of the season: Who will survive, Florida State or Miami?
As they say in the commercials: I love this game!
Ah, you lucky dog! I'm an expatriate Jags fan in Virginia. See you at the Lions game in November - I got club level seats through my company's Jax plant. Can't wait!
We just got a new house and only have one satellite connection. Last night my Fox News channel in my Living Room got switched to the Little League Finals for the evening. Hubby dearly loves LL games. The LL World Series is next...so considering that and football coming up I have GOT to call DTV and get another connection for the Family Room TODAY!
For me, the questions are:
1.) Can Clemson keep its momentum from last year against one of the nation's toughest schedules, and
2.) Can Lou Holtz win enough games this year to keep his job? We like playing against his teams.
And when they don't, can they at least keep the point spread below triple digits?
I can't live without my dish & NFL Sunday Ticket!
I think USC will, but LSU lost too many key players on both sides, and their schedule is brutal. The defense will be just as suffocating as last year, but losing Matt Mauck behind center makes the QB position questionable until a true starter emerges. Plus, their three toughest games(Florida, Georgia, Auburn) are all on the road. I'm figuring 2-3 losses this season, but Saban has turned the Tigers into a national powerhouse.
And the mighty Gators fly under the radar to SHOCK! the SEC!
We're gonna have a big year! The talent level is now at the point of beating our opponents as if they're baby seals!
There's a new Sheriff in town Cowboy fans. The longer Jerry Jones has anything to do with the Cowboys, the more popular the Texans are becoming.
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