Military Kids Need Educators' Help in Overcoming Fears

DoD-AFPS ^ | August 10, 2004 | Rudi Williams

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Military Kids Need Educators' Help in Overcoming Fears

By Rudi Williams
American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, Aug. 10, 2004 – Educators always try to help children overcome their fears. But when they work with military kids, they find all kinds of fears they hadn't encountered before, said a retired Marine major general and former astronaut at a recent conference.

Former astronaut and retired Marine Maj. Gen. Charles F. Bolden Jr. logged more than 6,000 flying hours, including more than 100 combat sorties in Southeast Asia during the Vietnam War, and spent more than 680 hours in space. NASA photo
(Click photo for screen-resolution image); high-resolution image available.

Among the many fears military kids have are fears about their parents' safety and fears about their adjustment in a new school environment, retired Maj. Gen. Charles F. Bolden Jr. told more than 400 educators, administrators, top military leaders, students and parents attending the Military Child Education Coalition conference in Colorado Springs, Colo., in July.

Bolden noted that military children often attend multiple schools in a year because a military parent transfers. "Some of them fear being better than their classmates because of the experiences that they've had," he said. "They are sometimes embarrassed and fearful of even mentioning the places they've lived."

The former astronaut said that as a youngster growing up in Columbia, S.C., in the 1950s and '60s, he'd never traveled farther than Charlotte, N.C., or Charleston, S.C. So he was in awe of military kids who had traveled the world and lived in places where they "had an opportunity to live and grow."

Even so, Bolden continued, these same young people "sometimes have a fear of even sharing their experiences with their classmates, for a number of different reasons." They include being considered to be "stuck up," or thought of as being better than their classmates, said Bolden.

"There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you," Bolden said. "It's our obligation -- it's our heritage -- to help kids understand that they are good, and that they're valuable."

Children need to be taught that they can do things to help the other kids around them without being fearful, he continued. "We need to dare them to achieve," Bolden said. "We have an obligation to the kids with whom we work to help them understand that heritage, to help them understand the obligation to dare to achieve."

Taking risks is important, Bolden said, and failure is an inevitable byproduct of a daring spirit. And that's not bad, he added. Children need to fail, he said, because it will help them grow. As an example, he said he applied for test pilot school six or seven times before being accepted.

"Going to space, flying airplanes -- not in the cards, not for me," is what Bolden thought as an African-American youth. "I knew astronauts, and they were all white, Anglo-Saxon Protestants about 5-foot-10, and they were all military test pilots at that time. So that was not in the cards for me. I didn't fool myself -- there was no way in the world I was going to do that."

He first thought flying airplanes was too risky, but ended up attending flight school and falling in love with flying. Bolden flew more than 100 sorties in Southeast Asia during the Vietnam War era as a Marine Corps pilot. NASA accepted him as an astronaut in May 1980. A Distinguished Flying Cross recipient, he has logged more than 6,000 hours' flying time.

The veteran of four space flights logged more than 680 hours in space. In 1986, he piloted the space shuttle Columbia on a six-day flight that deployed the communication satellite and conducted experiments in astrophysics and materials processing. In 1990, Bolden flew aboard the space shuttle Discovery on a five-day mission to deploy the Hubble Space Telescope and conduct a variety of experiments.

Two years later, he commanded a crew of seven aboard the space shuttle Atlantis on a nine-day mission to study the Earth's atmosphere.

He took off on his final space mission on Feb. 3, 1994, when he commanded a crew of six aboard Discovery. This was the first joint U.S.-Russian space shuttle mission involving the participation of a Russian cosmonaut as a mission-specialist crewmember.

Just as his career journey took him beyond his surroundings, Bolden said, "we must find ways to free up time so that military children can expand their horizons." He said military children are good and smart, often smarter than some of their classmates.

"But that's not their fault, and there's nothing wrong with that," Bolden noted. "Many of them will become our nation's and our world's leaders. So it's important that we allow them to be educated in the best way possible."

Biography:
Retired Marine Maj. Gen. Charles F. Bolden Jr.

Related Sites:
Military Child Education Coalition

Related Articles:
New Chairman Aims to Help More Mobile Military Children
Education Coalition Founding Father Steps Down
'Aunt Peggie' Finds Answers for Parents, Students
Military Children Have Wonderful Experiences, but Face Tough Challenges
Speaker Thanks Coalition for Championing Military Children

	Former astronaut retired Marine Corps Maj. Gen. Charles F. Bolden Jr. said in terms of school "military children are often smarter than some of their classmates" during a speech at the Military Child Education Coalition conference recently in Colorado Springs, Colo. Photo by Rudi Williams

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

 ...military children are good and smart...

"Many of them will become our nation's and our world's leaders. So it's important that we allow them to be educated in the best way possible."

          
Ping! 

[kylaka]

I can certainly vouch for the fact that military dependents education is first rate. I spent 3rd, 4th and 5th grade in American dependent schools in Germany before landing in a public school in the US for 6th grade. I was fully two years ahead of them. I can't say much about the insecurity Gen. Bolden talks about except to say than making new friends is never easy. I opted out of a military career because I was just plain tired of moving.

[SandRat]

RC point all to FReeper Canteen ~ Ways to Support the Troops ~ July 29, 2004 reply #514 for a bunch of ways to help not only military families but families of military personnel active, Guard, Reserve, or retirees.

[steplock]

The first step to help the kids is to remove ALL NEA types from getting anywhere near them!

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Thanks for the link! (^:

[Martins kid]

Military kids learn early on how to land on their feet in odd situations. They learn how to adapt to a changing world. My three military brats are proud of their "brat" status and walk though this world with more confidence than others their age.

[windchime]

Bump!

[former New Yawker]

It would be my honor if you'd put me on your ping list.

Thanks in advance.

[Alamo-Girl]

Bump!

[conservativeteach]

I completely agree with your comments. We were "brats" as well. When we lived in civilian areas instead of on post, the kids were very interested in learning about where else we had lived.
I think as adults, the way we were raised, gave us an awesome perspective. We learned early who we could really count on...family. We are a tight-knit family. My brother, Special Forces in Okinawa, is my best friend. I can count on him like no other. We all learned to roll with the punches and to not take anything too personally.

[M0sby]

In addition to the items mentioned in the article is the simple and plain FACT that when a military kid talks about what "his dad" does for a living (or mom for that matter) there are not so many teachers that will give them the same kind of positive feedback that one would have expected during some other wars.
My sister recently asked me if I was worried that there might be kids in my son's Kindergarten who would criticize my son for having a military dad.
I don't think that there would be at this age, but I can just hear the politically correct teacher explaining that it is OK that "little Johnny" thinks that your dad's job is bad because some people don't believe that killing other people is a good thing.
Can't you just see it?
At least here in WA.

I am a teacher myself in a high school. I am always reminding the students that there freedom has been bought, and is currently being defended by the great men and women of our armed forces.

Gotta hope that when my kid walks into Kindergarten this fall wearing his desert camouflage backpack embroidered with his name (purchased by his dad for him while serving in the giant sandbox last year)...that some of the other kids think it is cool...cause he sure does!

[Dianna]

I was teaching preschool in San Diego during the first Gulf War. I didn't know that any of the children had deployed dads until they started coming home. I felt badly about that.

The day after one of the dads came home, he accompanied his son and wife to the preschool. Then, mom and dad promptly left the boy. That poor child spent the whole morning sobbing in my lap and I cried right along with him. It broke my heart.

[M0sby]

I am not sure why they left the child at the preschool? It would have made sense for the little guy to stay home to see dad for a while wouldn't it? I mean, they all get leave for at least a few days after returning from a deployment. Could be that they had to do some of the paperwork stuff that comes with returning from a deployment. I know Dan had to do a TON of it...but he was in CA, and we were in WA. So by the time he got here, it was all done!

When my husband came home we all took about a week off together and had MUCH discussion with our son about how the next time he went to preschool it would be so cool because dad would get to pick him up...AND he got to bring his new backpack!

[Squantos]

I OWE MY MOTHER





1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about ; WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15 My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home"

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
" Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[Gabz]

How right that statement is.

I feel sorry for so many of the military children in Dover, DE whose families live in Dover and not in base housing or south of the base - the schools that the kids at base housing go to are so far superior to those that live in town.

[Dianna]

I am not sure why they left the child at the preschool?

I assume they wanted some alone time-they snuck right out the door. It was tempting to get a babysitter for the night daddy came home (my husband was Navy for 9 years, and wasn't gone for very long periods of time). I never did it though. How do you do that to a little kid?

[Gabz]

I don't think that there would be at this age, but I can just hear the politically correct teacher explaining that it is OK that "little Johnny" thinks that your dad's job is bad because some people don't believe that killing other people is a good thing.

Knock on wood I don't have that problem in my area. I've yet to encounter the PC crapola you are describing, although I know it does exist in some areas

My daughter just finished kindergarten and one of her classmates is living with his grandparents because both of his parents are military and the family all decided it was better to have him with grandma near to home as opposed to moving around right now.

He's a sweet little boy and his grandmother is an absolutely delightful woman.

[Defender2]

Hugs for You, Ragtime Cowgirl!!!!:-)


Defender2

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Homeschooling's a precious and sacred tradition (so good kids have taught me). (^: