Building a family is one of the most personal and emotional undertakings that a couple can undergo, and that is magnified when you're faced with infertility.
We wind up going through the five stages of grief, essentially grieving the loss of the blood descendants we'll never have. It's not quite the same thing as losing a child you already had, but it's a very difficult and painful thing to accept even so. We still had dreams and hopes for the future of our biological children, even if they don't exist yet.
The couple in this article spent $25,000 and two years in Stage 1 - Denial. It's certainly a blessing that they were ultimately able to concieve, but my wife and I had to work through the rest of the stages of grieving when we got through Stage 1 and decided that fertility treatments and the risks to her health were obstacles we no longer wanted to try to overcome. We've been married for 11 years now.
Our son from Viet Nam (my wife and I are caucasian)was studying genetics way back when he was in grade school. He was given a science project about eye color, ear lobes, rolled tongues, etc. I was helping him and told him his teacher must be mistaken, because neither Mom nor I had detached ear lobes or brown eyes, there must be some sort of recessive genes for these things.
And then there's the one where my wife had very vivid "memories" of her trip to the hospital to give birth to another child we didn't even meet until she was four.
Maybe we've been blessed with the peace that it doesn't matter where a child comes from because God's given us children both ways. I promise the emotions you feel (both good and bad) are no different.
If you read my earlier post, you would have seen that I am blessed to be an adoptive mother. Three miscarriages and two ectopic(tubal) pregnancies convinced me God had other plans for us. Building a family is just as an emotional experience with an adopted child--trust me, I've been there.