Posted on 08/10/2004 6:00:00 AM PDT by presidio9
SOMETIME while Hillary Clinton was switching her name from Hillary Rodham to Hillary Clinton and back again and back back again, an important threshold was crossed — people stopped caring. When Hillary initially kept her surname after marrying Bill, it was a blow against the patriarchy and for women’s liberation, but today such surname-keeping has lost its cachet.
In the 1990s the number of women keeping their maiden name upon marriage began to dip, according to a fascinating study published in The Journal of Economic Perspectives. This snapback to taking a husband’s surname is mostly an elite phenomenon, since among most people it never went out of style. Roughly 90 percent of women take their husband’s surname. It is among college-educated women that surname-keeping flowed and is now ebbing.
Surname-keeping took hold in the 1970s. Legal restrictions that forced women to take their husbands’ surnames began to be overturned or ignored. Women began to marry later and get more professional degrees, both of which made them more attached to their surnames. Ms. became popularized as a way to avoid the repression of Mrs. Keeping a surname was considered a way for a woman to keep her identity.
The number of women in The New York Times’ wedding announcements keeping their surnames was 2 percent in 1975 and had reached 20 percent by the mid-1980s, according to the Journal study. Then the trend stalled. Among women in the Harvard class of 1980, 44 percent retained their surname, but in the class of 1990, only 32 percent did. According to Massachusetts records, the percentage of surname-keepers among college graduates in that state was 23 percent in 1990, 20 percent in 1995 and 17 percent in 2000.
Why? The study’s authors write: “Perhaps some women who ‘kept’ their surnames in the 1980s, during the rapid increase in ‘keeping,’ did so because of peer pressure, and their counterparts today are freer to make their own choices. Perhaps surname-keeping seems less salient as a way of publicly supporting equality for women than it did in the late 1970s and 1980s. Perhaps a general drift to more conservative social values has made surname-keeping less attractive.”
Indeed, the decline in sur- name-keeping might mean that marriage is being taken slightly more seriously. “I think it will strengthen marriage,” says University of Virginia professor Steven Rhoads, author of “Taking Sex Differences Seriously.” “It’s a sign that someone intends it to be a unit, that this is a marriage, and it is for the duration.”
It certainly shows that, for whatever reason, younger women are moving beyond old feminist obsessions. Writing in the online magazine Slate, Katie Roiphe argues that “the maiden name is no longer a fraught political issue. These days, no one is shocked when an independent-minded woman takes her husband’s name, any more than one is shocked when she announces that she is staying at home with her kids.”
In the waning of a certain kind of self-conscious feminism, women are freer to make their own choices — including traditional ones.
Finally, there is simply the hassle factor. It can be difficult for a mother who doesn’t share her child’s last name to pick him up from school or travel with him. Hyphenation has its own perils. Writer Frederica Mathewes-Green reports receiving mail for people named Mathwas-Green, Mathers-Crein, Vatherwes-Green and Mebhews-Creen, among others. Her hyphenation won’t be carried on by any of her children, and she doesn’t regret it.
In an essay on the decline of feminism in the City Journal, Kay Hymowitz notes that feminist pioneer Patricia Ireland recently wrote that a woman taking her husband’s name “signifies the loss of her very existence as a person under the law.” Women who want to get on with their lives and with their marriages greet that kind of old-school feminist call-to-arms with a decidedly 21st century “ho-hum.”
"A woman that won't take your name when she marries is not worth marrying."
A man that won't take his wife's name when he marries may not be worth marrying, either. Why is his name more valid than hers? I took my husband's name -- but he considered taking mine instead. Mine is easier with a strong heritage, and his is a result of his dad's adoption. It's ridiculous to believe that women should take their husband's name and give up their identities. Maybe it was fine in the days when they were husbands' property. But now, when husbands send their wives off to bring home the bacon, that makes them equal. The name thing is an option, it should be an option, and women who keep their own family names should not be criticized. It's part of who they are.
And there it is ladies and gentlemen. The real reason the she keeps her own last name. Thank you for finally getting to the meat of the issue. All that "interesting last name, too lazy to change it, want old friends to find me" was bull or mostly bull. Thats the reason a woman wants to keep her last name.
So what we have learned is this. Your husbands last name is superficial and means nothing in the grand scheme but your last name is special and proves to the world you are independant of your husband. You are in control of you destiny. The reason we all know this is because you kept your Dads last name instead of your husbands.
So in closing, last names do mean something after all. It can mean "I am part of a family under the same name and I respect my husband " or " I am part of a family but look at me I am special because I have a different name. My husband does not rule over me and I am my own woman. Hey everyone ask me about it".
Normy, you're not going to take that from Diane are you?
I know how to address them, it's just a pet-peeve...an irritation. I'm a traditionalist and don't like feminist ideals and attitude that usually come with someone that won't take the husband's last name.
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the way Normy. :)
What do the gays do?
>>>
You really don't want to know. Trust me on this.
Um...I hardly think that just because you take your husband's name that that precludes you from cheating and possibly getting pregnant. Is there some law of nature that I'm not aware of?
I consider my individuality very important and my husband and I are a family. I also have a family in my parents and grandparents, who will be a part of my children's lives. Why should the "family ties" be with the husband's family?
Regardless of who has who's name, we are all happy and we all support one another. Parenthetically, my husband didn't mind that I didn't change my name. And, no, he's not a liberal.
gets to be my neighbor. Wouldn't you like to be my neighbor, too?
Can you say "heraldry" boys and girls? Very good ...
I never said that I didn't change my name to show people that my husband has no control over me. I was supposing that that's what you thought. Maybe you should read my posts a little more carefully.
And I can speculate just as much (not knowing you, of course) as to why you are so adamant about wives changing their names. Perhaps you feel threatened in your masculinity?
Exactly. I didn't change my last name because my husband's is a pain. It wasn't on principle; I'd have changed it for a more easily spelled name! Our children have my husband's last name, which (means I end up spelling it for people several times a day anyway, defeating my original purpose). However, at this point, I just don't want to go to the trouble of re-doing all the paperwork
Dittos.
I wonder how many here know the answer to Zappa's question "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body" ?
He was a brilliant satirist, and gave the most appropriate reply to a congressional committee I ever heard.
I don't think you can classify keeping a maiden name as a middle name the same way as keeping a maiden surname or hyphenating. I use my maiden name as my middle name simply because my middle name at birth wasn't one I much cared for... and it was a nice, private way to preserve the connection to my maiden name. Since I generally use just a middle initial (if that) it isn't a big statement making issue. Actually, as another poster noted, I think it is very traditional for a woman to keep her maiden name as a middle name. Is it that different from using a mother's maiden name as her son's middle name? That's pretty common... especially among presidents. JFK, LBJ, I think Ronald Reagan.... Since a middle name has little legal signficance, I don't see any big deal about it, nor does my husband.
Thank you sir.
Born today: Maryjane Harmon-Smith-Rodham-Thomas, daughter of James Harmon-Smith and Tiffany Rodahm-Thomas.
Uh, I thought you were supposed to take your husbands' name after you married (sarcasm).........I took my Hubby's name and have proudly used it for the last 38 years! These women libbers just don't get it and I think the fat lady is about to sing. There's a new generation of women out there who are finding there is a better way as far as family values and seeing the libbies for what they really are. IMHO.
Interesting on how you think conservative people need to believe everything that you do. Should we all just goose-step down the center of the street, conforming to every conservative ideal? That is ridiculous. Conservatives come in all shapes and colors and every conservative doesn't have a handy checklist in his pocket showing what he should believe in.
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