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Ah...lyrics. Here are some lyrics.

http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/t/toofatpolka.shtml

TOO FAT POLKA (I DON'T WANT HER, YOU CAN HAVE HER, SHE'S TOO FAT FOR ME)
(Ross MacLean / Arthur Richardson)

Arthur Godfrey - 1947
Andrews Sisters - 1947
Frankie Yankovic & His Yanks - 1968
Mighty Tubadours - 1991
Also recorded by: Bobby Vinton; James Last Orch;
Stan Wolowic & The Polka Chips; Whoopee John;
Harry Zimmerman Big Band; Drew Carey.

Here's a silly ditty,
You can sing it right away
Now, here is what you say
So sing it while you may

Here's a silly jingle,
You can sing it night or noon
Here's the words, that's all you need
'Cause I just sang the tune:

Oh, I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
I don't want her, you can have her,
She's too fat for me
She's too fat
She's too fat
She's too fat for me

I get dizzy
I get numbo
When I'm dancing
With my Jum-Jum-Jumbo

I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat
She's too fat
She's too fat for me

Can she prance up a hill?
No, no, no, no, no
Can she dance a quadrille?
No, no, no, no, no
Does she fit in your coupe?
By herself she's a group
Could she possibly
Sit upon your knee?
No, no, no

We don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
And she's too fat for me
But she's just right for me
We don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
Yeah, she's too fat,
Much too fat
But she's just right for me

She's so charming
And she's so winning
But it's alarming
When she goes in swimming

We don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
But she's just right for me
So I sure want her, you can't have her
She's just right for me
But she's too fat!
She's not too fat!
She's just right for me!

She's a twosome,
She's a foursome
If she'd lose some
I would like her more some

I don't want her, you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
I don't want her you can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat
Much too fat
She's too fat for me
Hey!

*****

As recorded by James Last - German & English Versions:

Sie sieht neben mir aus oh oh oh oh oh
Wie ein wandelndes Haus oh oh oh oh oh
Steh' ich einmal hinter ihr
Sieht man nichts mehr von mir
Und für mein Gefühl ist mir das viel zu viel oh oh oh

Kaum hat er sie geseh'n oh oh oh oh oh
War es um ihn gescheh'n oh oh oh oh oh
Ihre mächtige Forma fand er einfach enorm
Und er bat galant mich um ihre Hand oh oh

Drum nimm sie dir ich mag sie nicht
Denn sie ist mir zu fett
Sie ist mir zu fett
Sie ist mir zu fett
Drumm nimm sie dir
Ich mag sie nicht
Denn sie ist mir zu fett
Viel zu fett viel zu fett sie ist mir zu fett
Deine Liebe und dein Sehnen
Und dein Herz schenk' dieser runden Schönen

Can she prance up a hill? No! No! No! No! No!
Can she dance a quadrille! No! No! No! No! No!
Does she fit in my coupe? By herself she's a group
Could she possibly sit up on my knee? No! No! No! No! No!
She's too fat for me!

I don't want her
You can have her
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
She's too fat for me
Oh, I don't want her
You can have her
Please do that for me
She's too fat
She's too fat
She's too fat for me

I get dizzy
I get numbo
When i'm dancing with my Jum-Jum-Jumbo
She's a twosome
she's a foursome
She should lose some,
I would like her moresome

Here are some good older western lyrics. ...sang this to my boy. Now he's a young man who can run up and down the peaks.

Roly Poly
Recording: Bob Wills
Vocal: Tommy Duncan
by Fred Rose

Roly Poly, eatin' corn n' 'taters
Hungry ev'ry minute of the day
Roly Poly, gnawin' on a biscuit
Long as he can chew it, it's okay.

He can eat an apple pie
An' never even bat an eye
He likes everything from soup to hay
Roly Poly, daddy's little fattie
Bet he's gonna be a man some day.

Roly Poly, scrambled eggs for breakfast
Bread n' jelly twenty times a day
Roly Poly, eats a hardy dinner
It takes lots of strength to run and play.

Pulls up weeds and does the chores
And he runs both ways to all the stores
He works up an appetite that way
Roly Poly, daddy's little fattie
Bet he's gonna be a man someday.

But the following is my favorite. ...might look a little off-topic, at first, but in the general sense, it has much to do with our country's tenets before people were so sensitive.

"Three Bells" (The Browns)

There's a village, hidden deep in the valley,
Among the pine trees, half forlorn.
And there, on a sunny morning,
Little Jimmy Brown was born.

All the chapel bells were ringing, in the little village town,
And the song that they were singing was for baby Jimmy Brown.
And the little congregation prayed for guidance from above:
"Lead us not into temptation, bless this hour of meditation.
Guide him with eternal love."

There's a village, hidden deep in the valley,
Beneath the mountains high above.
And there, twenty years thereafter,
Jimmy was to meet his love.

All the chapel bells were ringing, ‘Twas a great day in his life,
Cause the song that they were singing was for Jimmy and his wife.
And the little congregation prayed for guidance from above:
"Lead us not into temptation, bless, O Lord, this celebration.
May their lives be filled with love."

From the village, hidden deep in the valley,
One rainy morning dark and gray,
A soul winged its way to heaven.
Jimmy Brown had passed away.

Just one lonely bell was ringing, in the little village town,
‘Twas farewell that it was singing to our buddy Jimmy Brown.
And the little congregation prayed for guidance from above:
"Lead us not into temptation, may his soul find the salvation
Of thy great eternal love."

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By the way, I also listen to Metal with kids. And we do backcountry snowboarding since the knees are working better.