The Newest Idea in Motherboard Design!
Posted on 08/06/2004 12:48:01 PM PDT by balrog666
Beijing, China - Fengtek released their first motherboard based on the ancient Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui. Many interior designers use the principles of Feng Shui to arrange furniture in rooms, so the areas have positive energy. Fengtek is the first company to move these principles to motherboard design.
Charles Huang, CEO of Fengtek, said he had been "looking for a way to combine modern technology with traditional Asian wisdom. My father had a motherboard company, so why not start there?"
Vincent Xiang, lead designer at Fengtek, explained how positioning the components away from traditional locations brought peace to the motherboard, "We put the CPU in the center, because that is the chi, or life force for the entire board. A centered chi provides better performance."
"We didn't rely on reference boards or schematics from chip manufacturers. Those designs had too many straight lines and sharp corners, which are unnatural and direct poison arrows at our soul. Instead, we tilted the memory slots and added an extra expansion slot at an angle to direct those negative energies away from the user," continued Xiang.
Xiang also said the angled slot also slows down the chi as it enters the CPU so it lessens the harm from any sha or negative chi. Placing the RAM in the bagua area of knowledge and wisdom should also increase performance.
Fengtek also released a specially designed case to house the motherboard, which provides "a positive path for airflow spirits."
Reviewers at several websites were unable to get the motherboard to power up in any configuration. Fengtek technical support said this would allow more time for meditation.
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LOL
...and I hope the chi energy can effectively COOL OFF that CPU in the center - airflow to the unit is decreased by half with this design.
LOL! I almost took them for real till I saw the pic! As my job requires me to deal with Taiwan/CHina ODMs, I had a start at first because it didn't match their non-innovative ways. Getting them to innovate past the reference design is impossible! Though, frankly, this sounds like something a US startup could sell as an effective new age marketing gimmick!!!!
You know, I actually thought this was real after reading the first paragraph. It was only after I noticed the news source that I knew it was satire.
Of course by the third paragraph it was obvious what was going on.
Very nice job those people did on the article.
D
No doubt this will be another chapter added to the A+ exam guide.
Feng Shui is a really good hustle. Wish I knew how to do it.
Oh it's a joke- however, a good marketing ploy for a Mac designer.
LOL. Reminds me of when the Chinese first decided they needed to enter the jet age. But there they took the opposite tack. They got a hold of a 707, tore it apart piece by piece and made "exact" duplicates of each piece.
Their new "all-Chinese" jet apparently had enough inherent Feng Shui that it wanted to leap into the air... at least to the extent that they couldn't keep the nose wheel on the ground - while it was sitting still on the tarmac.
Somehow I just can't picture ol' Bert doing Feng Shui.
I think you could probably make things up as you go along and few would notice.
ROFL!
LOL....took me a minute, but funny!
Heh... sounds like a political career ;-)
And if it was a mac, they'd double the price on it.
Funniest post of the week.
All my geeks howled when they saw it.
You guys get a peek at this one?
OMG... Gotta love capitalism...
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