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Alexandra Kerry: Dad Gave Hamster CPR
NewsMax .com ^
| 7/30/04
| Carl Limbacher
Posted on 07/29/2004 9:33:18 PM PDT by kattracks
Would-be first daughter Alexandra Kerry revealed Thursday night that her father's habit of saving men overboard didn't end with his Swift Boat rescue of fellow Vietnam veteran Jim Rassman. In a bizarre recollection, Alexandra told the Democratic Convention crowd how the family waited dockside one summer day to embark on a trip, when the cage housing her sister's hamster "Licorice" tumbled into the drink. "My dad jumped in, grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to administer CPR," the Kerry daughter told the audience. "There are still to this day some reports of mouth-to-mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory."
Actually, the textbook definition of CPR is mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, though what techniques may be appropriate for hamster rescue is anybody's guess.
Too bad Sen. Kerry didn't have his trusty 8mm camera along to reenact his hamster heroism for posterity.
TOPICS: News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: dncconvention; hamsterhero; hamstersavior; kerry
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To: Cobra64
Prancing around with no underwear in a see-though outfitI hereby give you permission to go see the picture one more time, just for the purpose of noticing this time that she is, in fact, wearing panties.
I do, however, understand how you missed that the first time. :-)
81
posted on
07/29/2004 10:15:13 PM PDT
by
krb
To: Rastus
To: Rastus
![](http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/afp/20040728/capt.sge.qvv74.280704193746.photo00.default-273x375.jpg)
"Mister, please . . . stay away. . . ."
83
posted on
07/29/2004 10:25:17 PM PDT
by
Charles Henrickson
(Kerry is like that or so a crack sausage.)
To: GeronL
Arafat, definitely has more germs than twenty of Gere's gerbils put together!
To: kattracks
"My dad jumped in, grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to administer CPR"These people are freaks. The only way this story could have been more bizarre would be if it had been a gerbil.
85
posted on
07/29/2004 10:26:01 PM PDT
by
T. Buzzard Trueblood
("My theory of the Cold War is that we win and they lose." Ronald Reagan, 1977)
To: kattracks
To: krb
I doubt he was refering to panties. Who is she anyway??
87
posted on
07/29/2004 10:28:25 PM PDT
by
GeronL
(geocities.com/geronl is back)
To: Republican Wildcat
88
posted on
07/29/2004 10:29:35 PM PDT
by
GeronL
(geocities.com/geronl is back)
To: Republican Wildcat
89
posted on
07/29/2004 10:30:36 PM PDT
by
GeronL
(geocities.com/geronl is back)
To: Charles Henrickson
LOL.
"He's trying to speak! What's he saying?"
"Let . . . me . . . die. Keep that bunny suit-wearing, French-looking freak away from me!"
90
posted on
07/29/2004 10:30:44 PM PDT
by
Rastus
(Forget it, Moby! I'm voting for Bush!)
To: Charles Henrickson; mikrofon; Tijeras_Slim; Constitution Day
Alexandra told the Democratic Convention crowd how the family waited dockside one summer day to embark on a trip, when the cage housing her sister's hamster "Licorice" tumbled into the drink. "My dad jumped in, grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began to administer CPR," the Kerry daughter told the audience. "There are still to this day some reports of mouth-to-mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory." Give that man a Purple Hartz.
91
posted on
07/29/2004 10:36:37 PM PDT
by
martin_fierro
(Zydecodependent.)
To: martin_fierro
![](http://www.petco.com/assets/product_images/3/3270096716B.jpg)
who cares if the third was self inflicted, make it 3 purple hartz!
92
posted on
07/29/2004 10:50:03 PM PDT
by
hookman
To: kattracks
93
posted on
07/29/2004 11:08:38 PM PDT
by
Wacka
To: kattracks
I can't believe that no one has linked to
Joe Cartoon yet.
Click on link for a good new gerbil cartoon.
94
posted on
07/29/2004 11:14:17 PM PDT
by
datura
(The Difference Between a Democrat and a Communist Is????)
To: GeronL
The Kerry daughter who makes movies, and recently got photographed in a see-through dress at Cannes or some other fil festival. The photo reveals her to be put together pretty nicely.
Or maybe it's the other Kerry daughter who is in medical school.
95
posted on
07/30/2004 5:31:00 AM PDT
by
krb
To: martin_fierro; Charles Henrickson
Didn't he also once rescue a hamster from inside a printer?
96
posted on
07/30/2004 6:11:21 AM PDT
by
mikrofon
(JF'nK: A Hit in Hamsterdam)
To: kattracks
Hey Alex! Show America your tits! Again!
To: mikrofon
![](http://www.projekt4you.de/2003/a2_team2/inhalt0/Hamster.jpg)
. . . . . . . . . . . . "BACK! Back, I say!"
To: kattracks
savingprivatehamster
99
posted on
07/30/2004 6:44:40 AM PDT
by
Petronski
(Edwards threatening al Qaida is like Pee Wee Herman threatening Luca Brazzi.)
To: kattracks
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