Poor Poor Pitiful Linda Ronstadt

The Sydney Morning Herald ^ | July 27, 2004

[traumer]

Sometimes, a birthday is no cause for celebration, writes Belinda Keir.

I didn't set out to feel sorry for Linda Ronstadt that morning. Ten days or so ago it was her birthday - her 58th birthday in fact.

And how do I know? Because some smart alec on the radio kept telling us so all morning - "... and today is Linda Ronstadt's 58th birthday".

Before he went to the news he asked what the big hit of 1972 was, and after he gave the answer and played the song he rubbed it in some more that poor Linda was two years off 60.

I spent the rest of the week thinking what a loser he was, and humming "You and I travel to the beat of a different drum."

Linda herself was no doubt hoping 58 would slide past quietly.

A tasteful pressie or two, some phone calls and perhaps dinner - that would be nice.

Instead she was reminded on national radio that she topped the charts 32 years ago and is almost eligible for a Seniors Card.

Bastard. I bet she felt like phoning him up. If she'd been in Australia she would have.

And that's the problem with birthdays. Our 18th and 21st birthdays might seem a good excuse for a big celebration, but after that many of us never want to be reminded again.

We might accept that turning 30 or 40 or 50 is a public event - I've known people to have a party despite being in deep denial ("please come to the 19th anniversary of my 21st").

However, when the date rolls around on those in-between years most people are happy for it to just keep rolling by.

Strangely, when it comes to other people's birthdays all that restraint goes out the window.

How many of us have attended surprise parties organised by someone's family ("Lois says she doesn't want a party, but deep down we know she really does")?

In reality most of us go more quietly, accepting a 40th birthday spent with a bunch of greying and overweight people as inescapable.

At least we can drink Ben Ean and listen to old Linda Ronstadt records together.

Considering that other cultures count getting your front teeth knocked out or walking across hot coals as rites of passage, a birthday party might not be such a bad option, although I'm not entirely sure.

To all of you out there, I'm urging restraint.

Try to realise that when it comes to birthdays "I don't want a party" means "I don't want a party".

And "I'd like some really nice socks for my birthday" isn't code for "let's invite 50 people to lunch and do the catering ourselves".

Otherwise, it's "Happy birthday to you", Linda. Whether you like it or not I'm thinking of you, and hope you had a nice day.

[cripplecreek]

Good thing the DJ didn't mention Ronstadts weight, the writer would have become suicidal.

[BigLittle]

"..goin down the stoney end
I never wanted to go down the stoney end
Momma let me start all over
cradle me, oh momma cradle me again...."

Laura Nyro song covered by Linda Ronstadt and the Stone Ponies late 60's

[Khurkris]

An excellent example of the mindless prattle that passes for Aussie journalism.

[glockmeister40]

Ten days or so ago it was her birthday - her 58th birthday in fact.

At her birthday party the cake was the size of a sheet of plywood. Others were heard saying "Yes, but what are we going to eat?"

58 candles looked awful sparse on all that acreage.

[Fzob]

I have never understood people agonizing over having a birthday.

You have two options - 1, have a birthday and be happy to made it another year or 2, your dead.

I'll happily take the latter every year, Lord willing.

[traumer]

What seems to be the problem ?

[smonk]

such a shame. linda ronstadt was always one of my favorites when I was a kid . . . . and quite the hotty, too.

now she's sally struthers.

[traumer]

Many 'celebrities' have a real problem with aging... Here is another one:

[patton]

let's play the Price is Right. One of these two numbers is correct...

Alles Froliches zum Geburtstag, Liebchen. Ich weiss, dass Du erst ab morgen diesen Beschrift lesen wirst - Du hast irgandwie Was anderes zu tun, heute abend!

Viel Spass dabei! Hoffentlich, wirst Du nicht spazieren koennen!

[Gorzaloon]

Laura Nyro song covered by Linda Ronstadt and the Stone Ponies late 60's

It might be more appropriate for:

Look in any miror,

Is there no escape?

He will show you lines that time has etched into your face.

And waiting round the corner,

To put his arms around you.-

Death Comes courting, and you don't know what to do!

And the NEW HARD TIMES ARE HERE!

And the NEW HARD TIMES ARE HERE!

[M007]

I'll happily take the latter every year, Lord willing.

I think you meant to say "I'll take the former." ;-)

[Fzob]

LOL - you are correct - thanks

[luvbach1]

You have two options - 1, have a birthday and be happy to made it another year or 2, your dead. I'll happily take the latter every year, Lord willing.

You did mean the former didn't you?

[Fzob]

Yes, Thanks

[Brilliant]

To me, it seems that Linda would make a good Senator from California.

[Slings and Arrows]

"Poor Pitiful Me" - by Warren Zevon. Talk about throwing pearls before swine.

[Paulus Invictus]

And the translation is....???? Try not to taunt us like Kerry does when he wants to be secret and speaks French.

[patton]

Happy b-day to xsmommy on tuesday.

[massatoosits]

Agreed. As Bob Dylan has said, any day above the dirt is a good day.