Katy Taber and recent dates
Posted on 07/22/2004 6:21:44 AM PDT by OESY
KATY TABER doesn't hate Republicans. She just doesn't want to date them anymore.
Ms. Taber, a 20-year-old part-time student from West Palm Beach, Fla., looked for potential partners at Internet dating sites for nearly three years. But the services kept coughing up conservatives. That was not going to work for a young woman who has been to her share of teach-ins, and caught "Fahrenheit 9/11" on opening weekend.
So, like tens of thousands of others, Ms. Taber turned to an online personals site that caters to a specific political point of view. Now, after trading messages at loveinwar.com for a few weeks, Ms. Taber is going on her second date - with a nice young liberal from Pembroke Pines, about an hour away.
Since it began, the Internet has enabled groups to gather around common interests. So it was only a matter of time before the great divide between red states and blue states made its way into online romance.
"Liberals are buying liberal books, conservatives are buying conservative books," said Jeffrey M. Stonecash, a professor of political science at Syracuse University. "This is just another manifestation."
Most of the sites have popped up just in the last few months. And most of them trumpet a party affiliation from their home page. Love in War is a bit more subtle. Each personal comes with a mood meter, with the scale ranging from "Dean Angry" to "Clinton Mellow." And when Love in War members state their political beliefs (and they often do), they tend to echo the words of "LibGraphicDesigner," from Akron, Ohio: "Wake Me When Bush Inc. Is Gone."
"Because they're already on the site, because their viewpoints are right there in the profiles, you already know you're on the same page as the other person," Ms. Taber said.
Kelly Larson, 34, from Camas, Wash., signed up with www.conservativematch.com for much the same reason. She is a three-hour-a-day Fox News watcher who hands out Bush-Cheney bumper stickers at local parades. Her last serious boyfriend was a serious lefty, and they used to argue constantly. Eventually, the relationship could not survive the political differences, she said.
Now Ms. Larson, a full-time nanny and part-time Republican campaign volunteer, wants someone who shares her views.
"It's important that he has the same politics as me," she said. "It comes before religion in my book."
The appeal, like the Internet itself, can even cross borders. Richard Jones, a 53-year-old conservative financial adviser in Brampton, Ontario, said by e-mail that he had had trouble finding compatible dates in his hometown.
But Mr. Jones, who signs his e-mail, "God Bless America, God Bless the Military, God Bless President Bush!!!," found www.singlerepublican.com almost three months ago (through an advertisement at the Web site of Sean Hannity, the conservative firebrand), and thinks he may have discovered his "political soulmate" there. Though they have yet to meet face to face, he said, "we were both really touched" by the Reagan funeral ceremony.
More than just party affiliation is being shared, noted Brian Barcaro, a partner in Acolyte, the company in Evans City, Pa., that operates ConservativeMatch. "It's about the values they're holding, as opposed to what lever they pull," Mr. Barcaro said. "You might date a girl who disagrees with you on Iraq. But how to raise your kids, what are the proper gender roles, these are things that are fundamental to a marriage."
Ms. Taber, the student in West Palm Beach, said she was not ready for a major commitment like that, and simply wants to be able to have a decent conversation. Ms. Taber has dated conservatives. And when it came to issues of the day, they "learned not to discuss that sort of thing," she said. "In the end, I want to be able to share our mutual interests, and one of mine's politics. It gets frustrating after a while if you can't."
The people behind the political dating sites seem equally divided between true believers and plain old capitalists. Several are already in the online romance business and are looking to expand their reach. Mr. Barcaro, for example, said ConservativeMatch was a natural outgrowth of his company's long-standing www.catholicmatch.com.
David Singelyn, an inventor in Lake Elsinore, Calif., has put $6,000 of his own money over the last two months into advertising his www.democraticsingles.net site on liberal Web logs. The service is free, for the moment. But once a substantive membership base has built up, Mr. Singelyn hopes to charge $5 a month. "We'll take half the proceeds and ship it off to Greenpeace," he said.
John Hlinko, a Democratic organizer, has a slightly different goal for the dating site he helps operate, www.actforlove.org. Mr. Hlinko wants to use romance to enlist foot soldiers for progressive causes. "I've spent years trying to recruit activists,'' he said. "Now I'm using the oldest method there is."
Interest groups have been trying for years to use extracurricular methods to cement loyalty, noted Michael P. McDonald, a visiting fellow at the Brookings Institution. The Sierra Club, for example, has long organized singles outings. Sites like Act for Love are just the digital manifestation of a long-existing trend, he said.
Mr. Hlinko started Act for Love more than a year ago. But the project quickly got sidetracked when he and a few early members started discussing their fondness for Gen. Wesley K. Clark. Together, they helped organize the movement to draft General Clark as a Democratic presidential candidate. When General Clark dropped out of the contest, Mr. Hlinko was able to turn his attention back to the site.
He was already familiar with online dating's benefits; he met his fiancée at match.com, the largest of the Internet romance sites.
So far, Act for Love and the other political dating sites are not known to have yielded any engagement rings. Most are so new that they have not built up a critical mass of singles.
But with political passions rising in an election year, those numbers could swell. "It does seem emblematic of a trend - people who wouldn't consider a mate of a different political persuasion," Mr. McDonald said.
"You still have the Carvilles and Matalins," he added, referring to the political consultants James Carville and Mary Matalin, who are married and belong to opposing political parties. "But maybe they're from a different political era."
Katy Taber and recent dates
Yeah. I live in Akron, tell me about it. I feel like an island of conservative reality floating in the ocean of liberal diarrhea.
A dating litmus test for political views is very shallow. My wife is a lib, as are most the women I've dated. Sex is always better after a partisan debate :)
I'm glad she'se limiting herself - let the metrosexuals of the Rat party deal with her. LOL.
I am dating a liberal (who claims not to be one). It gets interesting to say the least. I have found though that there aren't many conservative 20-something women in my area that aren't married or otherwise preoccupied.
What a looker! Another great one we can't have access to.
I tend to agree with you, but it is nice to have that in common, especially when you like to discuss politics.
Helen Thomas is what the Elephant Man would look like if he lived in Chernobyl, with a vacation house on Three Mile Island.
I'm sensing a real opportunity here for FReepers with good persuasive skills. They can sign onto one of the liberal websites, worm their way into the hearts of lonesome libs and convert them to the "bright side" with a little logic! LOL
"I tend to agree with you, but it is nice to have that in common, especially when you like to discuss politics."
Not so sure - my wife and I have had many many interesting discussions about politics, society, etc because we're in different parties.
But she *is* voting for Bush this November :)
Sounds like a catch.
Left-wing women are often attracted to right-wing men, but the reverse is basically unknown.
that is certainly a matter of opinion. From my perspective, i can't imagine sharing my life with someone whose viewpoint on basic philosophical issues was so different. i am utterly astounded at the Matalin-Carville relationships. i could NEVER do it.
it is fortuitous that xshub and i evolved to enlightened conservatives at the same time. He was always much more liberal than i, but we have both become extremely conservative. even xskids (ages 15, 12, 10) know that LIBERAL is a perjorative term!
"From my perspective, i can't imagine sharing my life with someone whose viewpoint on basic philosophical issues was so different."
Fair enough. I guess I should qualify that my wife is "intellectually honest" - she's willing to question what the libs have spoon-fed her when its trumped by logic.
truly, my political/philosophical beliefs are such an integral part of who i am, that living with someone with such an opposing viewpoint would be untenable for me. actually, the only way to tolerate someone of an opposing viewpoint, would be if my political opinions were more superficial. when the tv is on, everyone in the house, including the kids, is interacting with and screaming at the liberals on tv. they are being well-trained to deal with the libs they will and do come into contact with, on a daily basis.
i would think that you could bring your wife around to the...right side, since she appears open-minded.
You have got to be kidding me! There is no way I would date or marry a liberal. I wouldn't even date or marry a person who was neutral about things political. I don't even have any liberals in my circle of close friends, although I do have some in my broader circle of friends. I have plenty of liberals in my extended family.
I have found that the values I hold dear clash with those held by liberals. When we discuss those values, we're constantly butting heads. When we don't, we're constantly aware of the elephant in the room that we're tiptoeing around. Either way, it doesn't make for a comfortable relationship.
I'm particularly troubled for the families who are raising kids and what message(s) they are sending their kids. I can't imagine a more confusing environment. I have the old-fashioned notion that kids should be given a strong (and united) foundation of faith and values. I would NEVER throw out a number of philosophies or religions and tell my kids to pick one. If they want to choose something different when they're adults, that's their prerogative, but I'm going to impart my wisdom and my values early so that they will be less likely to stray, or if they do, they will be more likely to find their way back to their roots.
I honestly can't imagine taking up with a liberal. To each his own, I suppose.
I think the "key" to your "premise" is whether the liberal women are "open minded".....in other words, they really aren't BELIEVERS yet, they are just repeating what they've been spoon fed for years. Important for men to discover this IMHO. I could not be married to a liberal....too much of a values clash.
She is a liberal dem in the sense that Peggy Noonan was, not the ANSWER retards you see in the street.
Im married now, but I would NEVER date or take a wife who was a lib. Unequally yoked?
Sorry, can't agree. Nothing is sexier than brains and morality and nothing is more stupid and immoral than to be a socialist/progressive/liberal. I'm kinda in the habit of feeling out a chick early on about basic things like No Smoking laws and Click it or Ticket and "rights" to health care or housing and that kind of thing. Girls are by nature nurturing and looking for security. In today's world, women are conditioned to get this from the gov, not a man. That has to be one of the biggest crimes against society perpetuated by the left.
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