Man Accused of Hitting Woman with Gator

AP via AL.com ^ | 17 July 04 | AP

[scott7278]

Paging Jeff Foxworthy...

[cyborg]

can't wait to see this on COPS

[Sacajaweau]

I'd say he's in need of Gatoraid.

[Riley]

"UM, PUT DOWN THE UH, ALLIGATOR! DO IT NOW!"

[Joe 6-pack]

Crikey!!!!

[Liberal Classic]

Now, *that* is what I call throwing down the gauntlet.

[Arpege92]

Gator wrestling trailer trash.

[mikrofon]

I think the whole tail's a croc...

[nevergore]

"Paging Jeff Foxworthy... "

you know you're a redneck when.....

ya' slap your girlfriend with your 3ft pet alligator in the mobile....

NeverGore :^)

[PaleoPal]

I don't know what Mary Matalin sees in him ...

[mylife]

just when you thought you'd heard it all

[dighton]

PORT ORANGE, Fla. (AP) -- A man hit his girlfriend with a 3-foot alligator and threw beer bottles at her during an argument in the couple’s mobile home, authorities said.

David Havenner, 41, was scheduled for a bond hearing Saturday on misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of an alligator.

The alligator, which Havenner had been keeping in his bathtub, was turned over to Florida wildlife officials.

Nancy Monico, 39, told investigators that Havenner beat her with his fists, then grabbed the alligator and swung it at her as she tried to escape, sheriff’s spokesman Gary Davidson said. She said the animal hit her at least once. She also told authorities that Havenner threw empty beer bottles at her, Davidson said.

Havenner’s version of the story differed. He told investigators that Monico bit his hand because she was upset that they had run out of alcohol.

[Normal4me]

Is the alligator pressing charges?

[aomagrat]

Maybe fienstein can add alligators to her assault weapons ban.

[GreenHornet]

The alligator, which Havenner had been keeping in his bathtub, was turned over to Florida wildlife officials.

If your wife asks you to take your pet alligator out of the tub so she can take a bath.......you might be a Redneck.

[LibWhacker]

Glad it wasn't a 12-footer.

[Larry Lucido]

"A man hit his girlfriend with a 3-foot alligator"

Sounds like nothing more than an alligation to me...

[Montfort]

Actually, the gator was a young shape-shifting reptilian who had taken the conveniently familiar form of a 3 ft long aligator. He was using his reptilian mind-control powers on these two stupid humans. Just a little summer project which he will write about when he returns to Eton or whatever other elite school he is attending.

This is a joke, of course. But I am warning you that some folks on the left believe things that are more absurd than this. Former Green Party honcho David Icke thinks various elites are shape-shifting reptilians, and he has a very large following. Michael Moore is only one step from telling us that Bush and the Saudi Royal family are really part of the same conspiracy of shape-shifting reptilians.