Official Campaign Website
Posted on 07/14/2004 10:38:54 PM PDT by jerhad
In a surprise move, John Kerry announced the replacement of John Edwards as his running mate. While not reported in major news media, polls showed that a Kerry-Edwards ticket would lose to Bush-Cheney. Feeling the pressure to find a candidate who matched his own views and global outlook, Kerry turned to Saddam Hussein to replace Edwards.
“It was a very close call between Saddam and Senator Clinton,” a rejuvenated Kerry told reporters at a press conference. “After hours of discussion in McDonald’s with my new campaign manager, Michael Moore, it was determined that Saddam was more appealing than Hillary,” he added. “Besides, the French love Saddam as much as they love me, so it seemed like a natural choice.”
While it might seem impossible to have Saddam be his running mate from an Iraqi prison, Kerry has apparently already put the wheels in motion to get Saddam out. Michael Moore is in the process of releasing a documentary that will prove Saddam Hussein is merely the scapegoat for hundreds of thousands of murders, tortures and rapes that were actually committed by George W. Bush instead.
Moore has shocking footage that will link Bush to Saddam’s atrocities as far back as the 1980’s. Apparently, Bush’s father’s former business partner was on the board of a company that invested in a firm that did research for a French company that sold chemicals to Iraq that were used to gas 100,000 Kurds. Editing eleven scenes together over a 23-year period clearly gives the impression that it was George W. Bush who ordered the use of chemical weapons against the Kurds, not Saddam.
The Kerry campaign is confident that this and other new evidence will allow for an immediate release of Saddam Hussein. As compensation to John Edwards for removing him from the ticket, Kerry is allowing the former trial lawyer to sue the United States and all Coalition forces for $100 billion on Saddam’s behalf for false imprisonment. Edwards has already proposed a settlement that would avoid a trial. The lawsuit would be dropped in exchange for allowing Edwards to run another U.N. oil-for-food program in Iraq. Legal analysts estimate that Edwards would likely make more money scamming the oil-for-food program, so the Coalition countries are unlikely to settle.
The New York Times is already projecting Kerry as the next president based on this bold new move. No one hates George W. Bush more than Saddam Hussein, and the Times believes that journalists and other Bush-haters now have someone they can relate to on a personal level. Plus, why would terrorists attack a country run by another terrorist? Kerry will “one-up” Spain and put a terrorist in office to prevent future attacks.
Whoopi Goldberg, the entertainer who recently used vulgar expletives to degrade President Bush at a Kerry/Edwards fundraiser, said “No @#*#($ way! Saddam is on the #$()$*# ticket? That’s #)(*#$ great! I can’t believe the #)*$# Democrats finally #)(*#$ got it right and chose a %)($%)( candidate who #)(*$#$# appeals to the #$)(*$ heart and soul of this #()*#$ country!” She added “President Bush is a #)(#*$# who #@)*#$@ and deserves #@)(*#$@ and #)(*#$@ from a #)*@#$ and @)#*$#$ with some #)*#@$@#.” When told of Whoopi’s comments, Kerry commented “That Whoopi really represents the core values of this country. She is the embodiment of what it means to be a Kerry supporter.”
Presidential candidate, Ralph Nader, was furious over the announcement. Nader was preparing to remove Green Party member, Peter Camejo, as his VP candidate and replace him with Saddam Hussein after the Green Party refused to nominate Nader as their candidate. Nader is reportedly spending his current campaign funds searching out Osama bin Laden to put him on the Nader ticket. The Kerry Campaign believes this ploy will backfire for Nader, since it is clear from Michael Moore’s most recent film that George W. Bush has strong ties to Osama bin Laden and his family. Voters are likely to see Osama bin Laden as just another George W. Bush in an election.
Official Campaign Website
Saddam would have him executed on day one and assume power
wow, that's great!
hey, too bad about Whoopie losing her job, huh? /s
Ah ha- the old "gravitas" card.
This is great!
This may even be funnier that Whoopi getting sacked by Slum Fast.
Democrats prefer the "Depravitas" card, ever since BJ Cliton defiled the oval office!!!
LOL. This is great.
And Charles Manson will be fully pardoned before becoming Secretary of Defense.
Good news about Whoopi getting Gloverized.
And so are her buddies....Kerry and Edwards!!!
More good news:
Bush-Cheney Ticket Leads in Edwards' Home State (54% to 39%)
Gallup ^ | 7.15.04
Posted on 07/14/2004 10:36:31 PM PDT by ambrose
July 15, 2004
Bush-Cheney Ticket Leads in Edwards' Home State Likely voters in North Carolina suggest little change in voting pattern from 2000
by David W. Moore
GALLUP NEWS SERVICE
PRINCETON, NJ -- A CNN/USA Today/Gallup survey of likely voters in North Carolina shows President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney with a healthy lead over Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry and his running mate, North Carolina Sen. John Edwards in the race for the White House. While Edwards is personally quite popular among North Carolina voters, the addition of his name does not appear to give the Democratic ticket any greater appeal to the state's electorate than the Democratic candidates in 2000, when Vice President Al Gore and his running mate, Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman, lost to Bush and Cheney in that state by 13 points.
The poll, conducted July 9-11, three days after Kerry chose Edwards as the Democratic vice presidential candidate, shows Bush beating Kerry by six points among all registered voters in the state (49% to 43%), and by an even larger margin of 15 points among the most likely voters (54% to 39%). In both cases, independent candidate Ralph Nader and his running mate, Peter Camejo, receive 4% of the vote. In 2000, Bush won the state by a 56% to 43% margin.
Someone actually bought the domain name for that?? haha
It sure IS!!! You guys did a good thang and it was all over the news at 11:PM last night!!! Kerry/Edwards didn't even have to good sense to Sista Soulga her like Clinton did!!! Good on alla you FReepers that zapped her filthy, nasty, oversized mouth and Dansonized brane!!!
Capitalism when used as a choke chain or a 2X4 by conservatives can be an incredible tool in our battle against the lunatic libs.
Oh, man, like who didn't see this coming? Just as soon as Kerry made Manuel Noriega his campaign manager I sez to myself, "Bill," I sez, "yer gonna see some old friends soon. Pity Uday and Qesay took a Hellfire suppository or they'd be natural replacements for McAuliffe and Blumenthal. There's even a resemblance..."
Another fantastic tagline!!! I'd ping the tagline king/Queen if I could just think of his/her screen name this AM!!! (another senior moment I guess)
I nominate Grampa Dave's new tagline above, for memorializing!!!
Can you imagine the power of Free Republic if we had about 50,000 active members who donated $5/month to Free Republic?
That would free JimRob to find more ways to derail the Whoopi's of America.
We know that the Follywood Perverts monitor FR, and I hope that their next Islamokazi commits financial suicide with its mouth.
"We have Freeperized Whoopi, Glover, Maher, ?. Hey Follywood perverts, who is next?!"
I think I just saw a thread about Ozzie Ozborne doin it!!! Go git 'em Grampa!!!
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