Posted on 07/12/2004 5:08:07 AM PDT by Area Freeper
As any rush-hour subway rider knows, being rubbed up against by dozens of strangers is nobody's idea of a good time. So why would perfectly normal people pay $30 to cozy up to complete strangers on the floor of another stranger's upper East Side apartment?
Say hello to the "Cuddle Party."
The latest entry in the self-help revolution, the cuddle party is a way "for adults to get together and explore affectionate touch and communication without it becoming sexualized," said its founder, Reid Mihalko.
Mihalko, 36, plays hosts to the weekly snuggle fest at his fifth-floor walkup, which he fills with comforters, pillows and stuffed animals.
As many as 20 pajama-clad people pile into Mihalko's one-bedroom apartment for the 3½ -hour Sunday-morning cuddle parties to nuzzle, spoon, hug, chat and, occasionally, smooch.
He says people come - and return to - his cuddle parties because as adults they don't get their "Recommended Daily Allowance of Welcomed Touch."
After a session of cuddling and non-sexual affection, they feel good about themselves for the rest of the week, he says.
The parties are also a profitable venture for Mihalko and his business partner, Marcia Baczynski, 26. The $30 fee more than covers overhead, which chiefly consists of complimentary bagels and sparkling cider.
Mihalko also hawks T-shirts, buttons and gift certificates.
At the outset, participants form a circle where they establish their personal boundaries - "I won't touch you anywhere adult, if you don't touch me anywhere adult" - and then the cuddling begins, with little interference by the host, who plays New Age tunes from his laptop.
The cuddling, mostly back rubs and spooning, rates PG-13 at its most hardcore, and the event ends with a "puppy pile" and group hug.
Mihalko, a sometime model, actor and masseur, says the idea came to him in January as an offshoot of the popular massage parties he'd been organizing.
"I saw it as a way for adults to find more nonsexual intimacy in their lives, so that the person on the street might say, 'Maybe I should go home and cuddle my kids,'" he said.
Cobi, a 34-year-old psychology student at the New School who asked that her last name not be printed, has attended about eight cuddle parties because they have helped her to become "more touchy-feely," she said. "I like the environment - it's a good stress reliever, and there's lots of stress in my life," she said. "It's a new way to meet people, and better than going to a bar because people don't have to use alcohol as a crutch. They are free to be themselves."
But not too free.
Playing by the rules
Cuddlers may do whatever they please, for the most part. They tend to cuddle in pairs or in threes, although there are larger group cuddles, too.
To prevent an "orgy from breaking out," Mihalko enforces a set of 16 rules, posted on www.cuddleparty.com and on the walls of his apartment.
Rule 1: "Pajamas stay on all the time."
During his opening talk, Mihalko stresses the importance of respecting people's boundaries and reminds cuddlers that while it is natural to experience arousal, sex or anything leading up to it, is a no-no.
Mihalko and Baczynski also prohibit risqué clothing and alcohol, and stand watch as "cuddle lifeguards" during the parties.
The supervision was a source of comfort to Todne Texeira, a jazz singer from Boston who attended a recent session.
"I was glad to see there was no one there from out in left field," she said. "It was a calm, relaxing environment."
Indeed, Texeira, 34, felt so at ease she serenaded her fellow cuddlers with a rendition of Etta James' "At Last."
According to Baczynski, the cuddle Web site averages 500 hits per day, and Mihalko recently added a Thursday-evening get-together. Cuddle parties have sprung up in Canada, Los Angeles and Austin, Tex.
The proprietors also trademarked the cuddle-party name, in part to ensure that "it doesn't become a sex party," said Baczynski.
Also in the works are training sessions for hosts across the country and themed cuddle parties, like ones for the gay and lesbian community, seniors and women only.
"All the cuddlemonsters are coming out of the closet," said Mihalko.
But not everyone thinks cuddling makes the world go round.
"It's tailor-made for the already-converted," said Chase, an Manhattan-based filmmaker who declined to give his last name.
"It's a great drinking story, but there's something uncomfortable about being in some guy's apartment touching with strangers."
Maybe I'm just a prude, but spooning and smooching don't seem like nonsexual behavior to me.
REALLY start to worry when they apply for federal grant money to stage workshops so they can graduate from SPOONING to FORKING.
*shudders*
I'll bet there have already been incidents of some lonely guy getting, um.... excited.
I'll bet there have already been incidents of some lonely guy getting, um.... excited.
That ain't normal...and he look as tho he is about to 'splode...or poot...
He needs a few spoons of castor oil then watch out!
I'd like to have a hug party. I need a hug ;-)
"Kerry/Edwards, party of two - your mat is waiting."
LOL, good one.
It's only a matter of time til one of these gets crashed... 
"Scuse me while I whip this out!"
That is just SO wrong!
Tehe, cuddle parties sound like uber fun, then again im young and such a kid at heart...I'm only 20. Though I dont have any need for this sorta party since all my friends are hug happy and I attend cons where cuddlin takes place anyways cause we all undertsand our individual oddities and intrests so we all feel at home for like 3 nights 4 days...=^.^=
I almost rejoice when I see fools and their money parted in new and interesting ways. This is awfully tempting.
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