Posted on 07/07/2004 4:27:12 PM PDT by perfect stranger
Posted: July 7, 2004 1:00 a.m. Eastern
© 2004 Universal Press Syndicate
I guess with John Kerry's choice of John Edwards as his running mate, he really does want to stand up for all Americans, from those worth only $60 million to those worth in excess of $800 million.
In one of the many stratagems Democrats have developed to avoid telling people what they believe, all Edwards wants to talk about is his cracker-barrel humble origins story. We're supposed to swoon over his "life story," as the flacks say, which apparently consists of the amazing fact that ... his father was a millworker!
That's right up there with "Clinton's stepdad was a drunk" and "Ted Kennedy's dad was a womanizing bootlegger" on my inspirational life-stories meter. In fact, I'm immediately renouncing my university degrees and going to work for the Post Office just to give my future children a shot at having a "life story," should they decide to run for president someday.
What is so amazing about Edwards' father being a millworker? That's at least an honorable occupation – as opposed to being a trial lawyer. True, Edwards made more money than his father did. I assume strippers make more money than their alcoholic fathers who abandoned them did, too. This isn't a story of progress; it's a story of devolution.
Despite the overwrought claims of Edwards' dazzling legal skills, winning jury verdicts in personal injury cases has nothing to do with legal talent and everything to do with getting the right cases – unless "talent" is taken to mean "having absolutely no shame." Edwards specialized in babies with cerebral palsy whom he claimed would have been spared the affliction if only the doctors had immediately performed Caesarean sections.
As a result of such lawsuits, there are now more than four times as many Caesarean sections as there were in 1970. But curiously, there has been no change in the rate of babies born with cerebral palsy. As the New York Times reported: "Studies indicate that in most cases, the disorder is caused by fetal brain injury long before labor begins." All those Caesareans have, however, increased the mother's risk of death, hemorrhage, infection, pulmonary embolism and Mendelson's syndrome.
In addition, the "little guys" Edwards claims to represent are having a lot more trouble finding doctors to deliver their babies these days as obstetricians leave the practice rather than pay malpractice insurance in excess of $100,000 a year.
In one of Edwards' silver-tongued arguments to the jury on behalf of a girl born with cerebral palsy, he claimed he was channeling the unborn baby girl, Jennifer Campbell, who was speaking to the jurors through him:
"She said at 3, 'I'm fine.' She said at 4, 'I'm having a little trouble, but I'm doing OK.' Five, she said, 'I'm having problems.' At 5:30, she said, 'I need out.'"
She's saying, "My lawyer needs a new Jaguar ... "
"She speaks to you through me and I have to tell you right now – I didn't plan to talk about this – right now I feel her. I feel her presence. She's inside me, and she's talking to you."
Well, tell her to pipe down, would you? I'm trying to hear the evidence in a malpractice lawsuit.
To paraphrase Oscar Wilde on the death of Little Nell, one must have a heart of stone to read this without laughing. What is this guy, a tent-show preacher? An off-the-strip Las Vegas lounge psychic couldn't get away with this routine.
Is Edwards able to channel any children right before an abortionist's fork is plunged into their tiny skulls? Why can't he hear those babies saying, "Let me live! Stop spraying this saline solution all over me!" Edwards must experience interference in channeling the voices of babies about to be aborted. Their liberal mothers' hands seem to muffle those voices.
And may we ask what the pre-born Jennifer Campbell thinks about war with Iraq? North Korea? Marginal tax rates? If Miss Cleo here is going to be a heartbeat away from the presidency, I think the voters are entitled to know that.
While making himself fabulously rich by taking a one-third cut of his multimillion-dollar verdicts coaxed out of juries with junk science and maudlin performances, Edwards has the audacity to claim, "I was more than just their lawyer; I cared about them. Their cause was my cause."
If he cared so deeply, how about keeping just 10 percent of the multimillion-dollar jury awards, rather than a third? In fact, as long as these Democrats are so eager to raise the taxes of "the rich," how about a 90 percent tax on contingency fees?
For someone who didn't care about the money, it's interesting that Edwards avoided cases in which the baby died during delivery. Evidently, jury awards average only about $500,000 when the babies die, and there is no disabled child to parade before the jury.
Edwards was one of the leading opponents of a bill in the North Carolina Legislature that would have established a fund for all babies born with cerebral palsy. So instead of all disabled babies in North Carolina being compensated equitably, only a few will win the jury lottery – one-third of which will go to trial lawyers like Edwards, who insists he doesn't care about the money.
Despite the now-disproved junk science theory about C-sections preventing cerebral palsy that Edwards peddled in the channeling case, the jury awarded Edwards' client a record-breaking $6.5 million. This is the essence of the modern Democratic Party, polished to perfection by Bill Clinton: They are willing to insult the intelligence of 49 percent of the people if they think they can fool 51 percent of the people.
So while Michael Moore, Al Franken, George Soros, Crazy Al Gore and the rest of the characters from the climactic devil-worshipping scene in "Rosemary's Baby" provide the muscle for the Kerry campaign, Kerry picks a pretty-boy milquetoast as his running mate, narrowly edging out a puppy for the spot. Just don't ask the Democrats what they believe. Edwards' father was a millworker, and that's all you need to know.
"Please reconsider and evaluate the benefit which lawyers make available to you everyday, so that my career choice may be fully justified in the eyes of both man and God."
If you aren't channeling your clients, then you have nothing to worry about.
She has once again perfectly nailed it.
Johnny Boy is the worst kind of ambulance chaser.
My dead client says that obviously, you are correct.
And Lawyers like Edwards help them .. drop the contingency fee the lawyers automatically get .. and I'll bethca you'll see a number of the bogus law suits drop big time
Ohh Sure, Clinton was nice to "Buddy" in front of the Camera, but as soon as they were out in the sticks of Chappaqua...what happened to "Buddy" Puppy?
Buddy was hit by a car, while not being supervised or adored.
This article has to get into the hands of women. They will understand caesarean abuse all too well.
The Flip-Flopper and the Flim-Flam Man. LOL, good one!
Prairie
Right -- if they could only bill hourly, even a big class action might only pay a hundred thousand in fees. And that's for the whole firm. And perhaps that fee would be promised to the lawyers by the Plaintiffs, and the firm would have to subsidize the litigation anyway.
Pirates like Edwards would probably get out of the law business, and turn to working commercial real estate deals or truck driving.
"My dead client says that obviously, you are correct."
Dead, huh! Well... I never trust Democrats! ;)
Let me quess ... you're against tort reform
Would you stay in law?
"Quite frankly, all this down-homey talk leaves me bored."
He's trying to be the neo-Jed Clampett.
Ain't workin'.
This is a line crying out for graphics...
Daddy Edwards was management. He did work his way up from millworker, but Johnny (given name) is even manipulating his father's accomplishments for political gain.
"... his father was a millworker!"
And john kerry was in vietnam..............................
SO??????????????????
If anyone knows how to contact Ms. Coulter, they might want to inform her that, according to Fox News Special Report with Brit Hume tonight, Edwards' father RAN THE MILL. He wasn't a "mill worker" he was upper management!!!
Actually, I believe that the derisive term should be "plaintiff's bar". Trial lawyers are lawyers who actually go to trial and about an equal number of them represent plaintiffs as represent defendents. It's one thing to represent a defendant who is wrongfully sued, and it's another thing to represent plaintiffs who are looking to hit the jackpot, which mostly goes to the plaintiff's attorney.
No, not against reasonable jury verdicts. Damage caps, I'm against. The reasonableness can be enforced by more traditional guidelines, I think.
And how can this be done if you don't put a cap??
I do understand your concerns ... really I do
But the lawsuit happy people have abused the system and because of this .. we are ALL paying the price
Don't you agree??
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