First of all, welcome to FR, Newbie. Nice handle, by the way. I doubt you're for real, but I'll answer anyway.
"Attention getting? Are you sure? I've cut for over a year, and not until recently did a single soul know." SNIP "I am stymied, why you would call something so secretive attention-getting?"
What type of attention are you hoping to get by posting this information in a Public Forum, on your first day here, to STRANGERS? You can honestly say that you never ONCE hoped that someone would find out about your psychological problems and help you out? Posting here about your psychological disorder(s) shows that you're still looking for attention and/or help.
I'm not a trained therapist, so am not qualified to help you sort out your problems. That's YOUR responsibility first and foremost.
Attention getting. Sounds familiar. (Re: Red Lake)
I read this earlier today. Sounds similar, eh?
The reporter looked disappointed, so I offered her my theory. "Events like this," I said, "if they are influenced by anything, are influenced by news programs like your own. When an unbalanced kid walks into a school and starts shooting, it becomes a major media event. Cable news drops ordinary programming and goes around the clock with it. The story is assigned a logo and a theme song; these two kids were packaged as the Trench Coat Mafia. The message is clear to other disturbed kids around the country: If I shoot up my school, I can be famous. The TV will talk about nothing else but me. Experts will try to figure out what I was thinking. The kids and teachers at school will see they shouldn't have messed with me. I'll go out in a blaze of glory."
In short, I said, events like Columbine are influenced far less by violent movies than by CNN, the NBC Nightly News and all the other news media, who glorify the killers in the guise of "explaining" them. I commended the policy at the Sun-Times, where our editor said the paper would no longer feature school killings on Page 1. The reporter thanked me and turned off the camera. Of course the interview was never used. They found plenty of talking heads to condemn violent movies, and everybody was happy.
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20031107/REVIEWS/311070301/1023