John Edwards undergoes charisma-removal surgery: Hopes to snag No. 2 slot on Kerry ticket

JWR ^ | 7/1/04 | Andy Borowitz

[pookie18]

In the hopes of snagging the vice-presidential slot on the Democratic ticket headed by Senator John Kerry (D-Mass), Senator John Edwards (D-NC) today underwent an experimental surgical procedure designed to remove every trace of charisma from his body.

Dr. Byron Delafield, the surgeon who performed the charisma-extraction surgery, told reporters that he was "cautiously optimistic" that Mr. Edwards ' body was 100% charisma-free.

"We have successfully brought his charisma down to a range where it is barely detectable - somewhere between Dick Gephardt and Wesley Clark," Dr. Delafield said.

[Always Right]

Edwards is just lucky he isn't gonna be running with comatose Al Gore where all evidence of life would have needed to be removed.

[newgeezer]

This must surely be Edwards's plan to increase his chances versus the naturally 100% non-charismatic Governor Tom Vil(e)sack of Iowa, long-rumored to be Kerry's other potential running mate.

For some reason, Borowitz made no mention of this.