RESUME OF JOHN F. KERRY
RESIDENCE:
5 mansions, including Washington DC, worth multi-millions
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
LAW ENFORCEMENT
I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill in my career as a US Senator. I ordered Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.
MILITARY
I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam. I then returned to the US, joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier" shows how I truly feel about the military.
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying rich women and running HJ Heinz vicariously through my wife Teresa.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS US Senator
I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make no or little charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in MA, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million.
Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as It might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None.
PERSONAL
I ride a Serotta Bike, and nap frequently. My Gulf stream V Jet I call "The Flying Squirrel" I call my $ 850,000 42 foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scaramouch", because nobody ever made spandex work like Freddie Mercury. Yeah!
I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and you had better listen to it as It reflects our real culture.
I own several SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large polluting inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for the energy problems.
Hi Gail. LOVE Kerry's resume. Priceless!
OMG! I wish we could post this so everyone in the US could see it!!!! Thanks a lot!
Great post! LOL