Are They Losing It? (Dowd alert)

The New York Times ^ | 06/27/04 | Maureen Dowd

[Pokey78]

WASHINGTON

One thing you've got to say for Dick Cheney: No one will ever again dismiss the vice presidency as a pitcher of warm spit. Mr. Major League Potty Mouth has shown that, with obsequiousness to the president and obtuseness to the facts, a vice president can run the world. Right into the ground.

This week, it's not just Democrats who are questioning whether Vice is losing it. Now, even some in the White House are saying it's bizarre that he chose a class photo-op on the Senate floor to suggest that Senator Patrick Leahy do something that you won't even find described in Bill Clinton's "My Life."

While Democratic lawmakers delayed final passage of a defense spending bill so they could mingle with Michael Moore, the once sweat-free Bushies were acting jangly.

First Vice chewed out The Times for accurately reporting that the 9/11 commission said there was no collaborative relationship between Saddam and Al Qaeda. Then Paul Wolfowitz called the reporters risking their lives in Iraq craven rumormongers. Then came Mr. Cheney's F-word. (Not Fox, the other one.)

Finally, President Bush got agitated when an Irish TV interviewer said most of the Irish found the world more dangerous now than before the Iraq invasion. "First of all, most of Europe supported the decision in Iraq," Mr. Bush declared. (It's all in how you define "Europe.")

Even as Tom Daschle proposed bipartisan family retreats to heal the harsh mood, even as the Senate passed the "Defense of Decency Act," Mr. Cheney profanely laced into Mr. Leahy for criticizing Halliburton's getting no-bid contracts.

"I felt better afterwards," he told Neil Cavuto during a no-bid interview with Fox News. Hey, if it feels good, Dick, do it.

He said he had no regrets about his "little floor debate in the United States Senate." He didn't want to go along with Mr. Leahy's attitude that "everything's peaches and cream" when the Democrat had just been jawing about Halliburton war profiteering. Peaches and cream have never been on the Bush-Cheney menu, only brimstone and gall.

By playing on the insecurities of an inexperienced leader, Mr. Cheney has managed to change W. from a sunny, open, bipartisan, uniter-not-a-divider, non-nation-builder into a crabby, secretive, partisan, divider-not-a-uniter, inept imperialist. Vice is bounding around the country, talking to his usual circumscribed audiences of conservatives, right-wing think tanks and Fox News anchors. No need to burrow in the bunker when you've turned America into one.

As they used to say about the Soviet Union, the defensive Bush imperialists have to keep expanding because they're encircled. Mr. Cheney's gloomy, scary, contentious world view has fueled a more gloomy, scary, contentious world.

After disastrously dividing the world into the strong (Bush hawks) and the weak (everyone else), Vice turned his coarseness into another macho, tough-guy moment against a Democrat considered a pill by many Republicans. "I think a lot of my colleagues felt that what I had said badly needed to be said, that it was long overdue," he preened.

The conservatives defending Mr. Cheney are largely the same crowd that went off the deep end because of a glimpse of breast on the Super Bowl, demanding everything from fines to new regulations to protect red states from blue language.

Mr. Cheney's foul outburst was not as bad as his foul reasoning. On Fox, he again belabored his obsession with "links" between Iraq and Al Qaeda. Exhibiting WASP chutzpah, this time he used The Times to bolster his faux case.

But the Thom Shanker story he cited said only that in the mid-1990's, Iraq agreed to rebroadcast anti-Saudi propaganda and that a request from Osama "to begin joint operations against foreign forces in Saudi Arabia went unanswered."

Rebroadcast anti-Saudi propaganda? As a threat to U.S. security, that's right up there with Iraqi "weapons of mass destruction-related program activities."

Mr. Cheney assured Fox's anxious viewers that he would stay on the ticket and in the White House until January '09. (No four letter words, dear Democrats.) Vice said of W., "he knows I'm there to serve him."

Mr. Bush must have missed that classic "Twilight Zone" episode where the aliens arrive with a book entitled, "To Serve Man." It turns out to be a cookbook.   

E-mail: liberties@nytimes.com

[Pokey78]

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From Oxblog:

IMMUTABLE LAWS OF DOWD

1. Ashcroft never deserves credit.

2. Offering constructive solutions to problems, instead of whining endlessly about them, is a sign of weakness.

3. The People Magazine principle: all political phenomena can be explained with reference solely to caricatures of the personalities involved ("Dubya" is stupid; "Poppy" is an aristocrat; Cheney is macho-man; etc.). Any reference to the common good or even to old-fashioned politicking is, like, so passe.

4. It is much better to be cute than coherent.

5. Maureen knows best. Her long years as a columnist (doing basically what your great-aunt Tillie does in the nursing home bull sessions, but getting paid for it) have given her deep insight into foreign relations, politics, welfare, the Constitution, and all other topics. To disagree with Maureen in any way is not only a sign of being wrong, it's a hallmark of pure evil...or at least membership in the NRA, which is pretty much the same thing.

6. It is usually possible and always desirable to name-drop and name-call in the same sentence.

7. The particulars of my consumer-driven, shamefully self-involved life reveal universal truths.

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Explanation of the Dowd/Douglas connection: by Miss Marple- 2/11/03

Ms. Dowd was escorted around New York and DC for many months by one Michael Douglas of Hollywood fame and fortune. She got to go to all the best parties, was photographed for the tabloids, and was picking out a gown to wear at the Oscars. Of course, Michael had become interested in her during Clinton's impeachment, when she had written some very anti-Clinton columns. After a few weeks of the Michael treatment, she began to write anti-Starr, ant-Newt columns, ignoring Clinton.

Then Clinton was acquitted by the Senate. In an amazing coincidence, Michael Douglas dropped Ms. Dowd like a hot potato, and instead picked up a hot tomato, Catherin Zeta-Jones, who subsequently bore him a son and they were married.

Ms. Dowd cannot get over her tragic loss. Her columns are increasingly anti-Bush, in the hope of impressing her lost love, Michael.

In addition, we think she has a secret crush on the President and is trying to get him to pay attention to her. Ha!

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Moron Dowd enjoys a drink with her DemonRat Party pals
(Courtesy Free ThinkerNY)

[mass55th]

Is that Ben-Veniste in that picture with the ever-affable contortionist Moron?

[blanknoone]

I tried to read it, but I couldn't get past the first paragraph...too much irony.

[Mr. Mojo]

"Hey, if it feels good, Dick, do it." - Mo Dowd

I realize Dowd probably hasn't been laid in a while, but this is getting ridiculous.

[beyond the sea]

Mr. Major League Potty Mouth

I'd rather hear Effin use the word for no reason. At least Cheney was pissed. No one deserved it more than the old prune, Leaky Leahy. But, somewhat to Leaky's credit, he did say that....... "maybe Dick's just having a bad day." That was cool of him. I wonder what got into him.

[tet68]

Hey Mo, What'cher sniveling for? Cheney got your tongue?
(Probably got the hots for him too, just like she has for
GW.)

[sgtbono2002]

Its been needed to be said for a long time. Ted Kennedy coiuld use it to Big Time.

[So Cal Rocket]

I must sharpen up my Google Search skills... I am really having trouble finding the article where the Dowdy One criticizes John Kerry for dropping the F-Bomb in his Rolling Stone Magazine interview. Can someone help me here?

With tongue in cheek,
SCR

[McLynnan]

Not to worry. Scanning the first paragraph is sufficient. It's the usual, and she cleverly has nicknamed Cheney "Vice". No mention of Kerry's use of four letter words in an attempt to be balanced. To think she gets paid for this sophomoric writing.

[beyond the sea]

No need to burrow in the bunker when you've turned America into one.

Gee, I was just at the store and around town. Is America a bunker? I didn't notice.

[NYCVirago]

I know how much Maureen Dowd hates foul language. After all, she did write that big column about how deplorable it was for John Kerry to curse to reporters about his Secret Service agent when Kerry fell on the slopes. Oh wait a minute, she never did write about it, did she?

[GVnana]

doing basically what your great-aunt Tillie does in the nursing home bull sessions, but getting paid for it

You have pegged Dowd!

[satchmodog9]

"First of all, most of Europe supported the decision in Iraq," Mr. Bush declared. (It's all in how you define "Europe.")


I guess it is how you define Europe you nasty, rotten fraud.

[jim macomber]

*&$% Dowd. She can *&%*$@!@ $!&($!@ her $^*!in' %@#!## anytime she &$@!$%@%@# well pleases.

[randog]

I was just wondering what happened to Dowd. I thought she was done with after her ellipse faux-pas. Evidently not--cockroaches are damn difficult to get rid of.

[atomicpossum]

If what's she's talking about is weight, I'd say Dowd definitely is NOT losing it.

[Miss Marple]

It is my fondest wish to see Ms. Dowd carted off to the funny farm. I detest her sophomoric writing, her reliance on pop culture, and her hatred of the President. She no longer amuses me.

As an aside, I think this can be directly correlated to another publicity campaign for Mrs. Douglas. Armchair psychology is sometimes quite useful.

[TexasCajun]

If Miss Dowd wants to read FreeRepublic post, then she must see the beauty her heart-throb married!
Michael Douglas is no Prince Charles when it comes to picking women!

[Southack]

"First Vice chewed out The Times for accurately reporting that the 9/11 commission said there was no collaborative relationship between Saddam and Al Qaeda."

Poor Ms. Dowd...she can't even comprehend what her own paper reports: Iraqis, Seeking Foes of Saudis, Contacted bin Laden (NY Times Documents Iraq/Al Qaeda on Page 1)

[Jackie]

.
To: Maureen Dowd

I saw you in person a couple of months ago. You have a long, thin nose.
.