The Condensed Bill Clinton:Slate reads My Life so you don't have to.

Slate ^ | June 22, 2004 | Bill Clinton. Editor: Bryan Curtis

[OESY]

Meanwhile, the headlines for Bill's book on the Drudge site are overwhelmingly bad, except in NYC and on CNN. The rest of the sales reports show a very slow day.

---

Clinton's Book Signings Draw Adoring Throngs in NYC...

CNN: 'My Life' sets records...

BUT... Sales slow in Florida...

Stacks Left Untouched on Maryland Shore...

SAN FRAN YAWN...

Clinton book sales quiet in Arizona...

Memoirs not on Houston's best seller list...

Tome slow out of gate in Cincinnati...

Not flying off shelves in Hudson Valley...

Mixed reaction in Manitowoc...

Mixed book sales in N.E. Georgia...

Creates little hoopla in San Antonio...

Not Selling in Shenandoah Valley...

Book not so magical in Wichita Falls...

Hoosiers react quietly to memoir...

Just hype? asks Gainesville...

Sales can't measure up to Harry or Hillary in suburban Chicago...

Memoirs don't stir Saginaw...

Memoir is no 1st-day best-seller in Ft. Wayne...

Not selling in VA Beach...

No best seller in Billings...

Slow in Sacramento...

[MayflowerMadam]

It's good that he eats the entire apple, including the core. I've heard there is arsenic in apple seeds. Guess he's just not eating enough of them.

[OrioleFan]

Reader's Digest condensed version of Clintoon's book:

"Because I could"

Chapter 1 - Whitewater (I lied) Chapter 2 - Bimbos (I lied) Chapter 3 - Presidency (no accomplishments) Chapter 4 - Terrorism (it flourished) Chapter 5 - Welfare Reform (how I got credit for something I opposed) Chapter 6 - Removing the "W" keys Chapter 7 - Stealing the China Chapter 8 - Fundraising (thank you China) Chapter 9 - Legacy (whats that)

[Hildy]

Page 14: "Hillary says the first time she ever saw me, I was in the Yale Law School lounge bragging to skeptical fellow students about the size of Hope watermelons."

I just confirmed this was a typo. This is how it was supposed to read:

"Hillary says the first time she ever saw me, I was in the Yale Law School lounge bragging to skeptical fellow students about the size of Hope's watermelons.

[T Minus Four]

PING-A-LING-A-LING!

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

ROTFL

[TexasCajun]

Page 166: While in Amsterdam, Clinton declines to visit a prostitute.

Translation: While in Amsterdam, Clinton visits many prostitutes.

[Little Bill]

...Hope residents took one look at the newborn and saw the Mark of the Beast beneith the wispy grey hair, and ran sceaming from the hospital.

I wonder if any of the Sandlins were around at the conseption, Max was a little young, but that covern might have cut the deal.

[Jimmy Valentine's brother]

Page 1: The book's inauspicious first line reads, Early on the morning of August 19, 1946, I was born under a clear sky after a violent summer storm..."

Page 20: Clinton's favorite movie is High Noon. "I probably saw it half a dozen times during its run in Hope, and have seen it more than a dozen times since."

The Movie High Noon was released in 1952. Precocious wasn't he?

[Petronski]

"I was so exhausted I fell asleep while the stripper was dancing and the goat head was looking up at me."

I smell an Oliver Stone blockbuster! LOL

[Petronski]

But "in the late seventies I developed an allergy to all alcoholic drinks except vodka."

WTF?

[Ichneumon]

Page 182: Hillary tries to cut her own hair before Bill's mother arrives for a visit. "It was a minor fiasco; she looked more like a punk rocker than someone who had just walked out of Jeff Dwire's beauty salon. With no makeup, a work shirt and jeans, and bare feet coated with tar from walking on the beach at Milford, she might as well have been a space alien."

Well, I've got my new tag line...

(It was a close call between that and the "goat head" line.)

[DJ Frisat]

"But I knew I could be great in public service."

Wrong again, Bill...

[Petronski]

Nice catch! LOL

[Howlin]

ROFLMAO.................really!

[Always Right]

Page 197: "I was so exhausted I fell asleep while the stripper was dancing and the goat head was looking up at me."

Was the goat smoking a cigarette?

[Petronski]

I spent the first couple of days alternating between begging for forgiveness and planning the strikes on al Qaeda. At night Hillary would go up to bed and I would sleep on the couch.

LOLROFPIMPRFI

Right.

[OESY]

That really is funny, especially since it involved an undiscerning Hillary.

[JesseHousman]

"I did my best ... to persuade him to shrug off the [negative Wall Street] Journal editorials. The Journal was a fine paper, but not that many people read its editorials. ... Vince listened, but I could tell I hadn't convinced him. He had never been subject to public criticism before, and like so many people when they're pounded in the press for the first time, he seemed to think that everyone had read the negative things said about him and believed them."

What a sockfull of crap!

The truth:

"I told Hillary she'd better handle Vince as he was getting out of control and might blab. Hillary told me not to worry. She had invited him to an apartment she'd rented for a candlelit dinner and a ride in the park afterwards."

"I said, Hillary, we need a nervous sister like Foster like we need a hole in the head."

[My2Cents]

LOL....Is this from Bill's book, or from the autobiography, "My Short Life, by Mohammed Atta."

You know, we could have a blast lifting excerpts from the autobiographies of other people (Anton LeVay, the "priest" with the Church of Satan in SF, is one possibility) and pass them off as excerpts from Clinton's book.