Darcy is probably a VHEMT member.
She'd just like to speed the process along.
Posted on 06/04/2004 1:30:07 PM PDT by Rebelbase
Bear breaks into house, attacks, but resident attacks back. Local animal rights groups outraged.
VICTORIA, BC (PRWEB) May 26, 2004 -- In an attempt to get a free meal, what was described as a "very large" bear broke into the rural homestead of a BC college student, who was home on vacation at the time. The student, who would only give his name as Ryan, says, "I had just grilled out some salmon and walked back into the dining room to eat. Just as I had just sat down, it sounded at though someone was trying to break down my door." As Ryan went to investigate, the door burst open and the gaping maw of a northern Kodiak bear appeared inside his living room. Ryan recalls, "It was the scariest moment of my life, right up there with the fishing accident in Sasketoon when I was twelve."
As the bear forced it's way into the dining room area, the beast found the grilled salmon it had smelled from what authorities estimated was over a mile away, where they found the bear's tracks around a small cave. Ryan tried shouting at the bear to get it to leave, but the bear seemed to be intent on the salmon it was feasting on.
Ryan then proceeded to throw various kitchen utensials at the bear to get it's attention. "I wasn't sure what I was going to do," he said. "After I hit the bear in the head with a wooden spoon, the bear started coming after me!" The would-be bear snack ran to the other side of the kitchen counter as the bear raised up on it's hind legs and tried swatting at him. "The bear was blocking my way to my room where I actually have a gun, so I found the only thing I had that I did not throw at him, my frying pan." he relates. "I picked up the frying pan and shouted, bring it on, bring it on!" Ryan jumped over the counter and started swinging the frying pan. The animal, estimated at six feet tall on all fours and over eight hundred pounds, got back on all fours and started to charge the young man. When the bear was about 1 foot away from him, Ryan swung the cast iron frying pan and hit the bear on the right side of its head. "The bear appeared to be dazed, so I just kept pounding him with the frying pan."
"After I hit the bear about fifteen times, the bear fell to the floor, but I dared not let up. I hit him for about another five minutes until he was not moving at all," Ryan says. Only then did he take the time to call for local law enforcement. "When the police showed up, they could not believed what they saw."
"It was the craziest thing I've ever seen," said Officer F. Barnes, of the Victoria crime scene investigation unit. "He actually killed a bear with a frying pan." The local wildlife officer showed up and took measurements of the bear, one of the largest involved in a home invasion incident in recent memory.
The bear caused about $400 dollars in damage to the house. There is no word on what became of the animal's body, but local animal rights activists are filing to take posession of the bear's remains, claiming it was an immoral act of killing, and Ryan should not be allowed to make a bearskin rug out of it. Darcy Morris, president of the local chapter of Animal Rights Abuse Watch (ARAW), says, "This young man should be prosecuted, not praised. The bear was simply following his natural instincts, and had this Ryan criminal left it alone, no harm would have been done. It's disgusting, and he can expect to hear from our lawyers." Ryan's attorney could not be reached for comment.
Kids, don't try this at home.
So9
Bear ping!
Why the grace of a Darwin Award did not befall him shakes my faith.
No way. On his hind legs perhaps.
Sounds like Ryan was too.
Darcy is probably a VHEMT member.
She'd just like to speed the process along.
So9
Darcy Morris, president of the local chapter of Animal Rights Abuse Watch (ARAW), says, "I’ll do the thinin around here BooBoo!
This is insane.
I would NEVER attack a Kodiak bear without a complete set of utensils.
Just D@mn!
Semper Fi
BTW, a Google search on "Darcy Morris" "animal rights" turned up nothing.
And neither did "Animal Rights Abuse Watch"
If the animal was six foot tall on all fours, it seems his width would be too much for a humad door. [36 inches?]
Never bring Bear Claws to a Skillet fight?
If the animal was six foot tall on all fours, it seems his width would be too much for a human door. [36 inches?]
Sounds hokey, but if true, it is a great story. I'd a left out the part about the spoon though.
Most people forget that it is brains and tools that put humans at the top of the food chain.
This story probably isnt real.
It's fiction, but it's funny.
So THAT's where my wooden spoon went!
It was a cast-iron skillet, maybe. Mine weighs a ton.
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