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Why Do We Tolerate Awful People?
http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2004/6/1/115724.shtml ^ | June 1, 2004 | Neil Cavuto

Posted on 06/02/2004 5:40:46 AM PDT by Maria S

So I'm waiting at the airport gate for a plane to the West Coast, when I learn it's just been delayed a minimum of two hours. I go up to the airline agent to find out if there are alternative flights to the same city.

"How should I know?" she blasts.

"I don't know," I answer, "maybe because you WORK HERE?!"

I guess I was stunned by her rudeness. But I shouldn't have been. I see it more and more.

Those sympathetic to this airline worker might say it's the hours, the pressure or the industry itself. I don't buy it. After all, it's not as if I can just pop on my show and be rude if I've had a hard day.

My dad was a big believer in treating people well, oftentimes even when he himself wasn't well. His theory was, "It's not the other guy's fault you're having a bad day."

But something has happened in this country today where the behavior that stands out is the smile, the laugh, the extra service. It's sad that we have become so accustomed to bad service that we're shocked when we get good service. My parents' generation taught me the customer is always right. These days, it seems the customer is wrong, too.

I guess there's something to that . . . that we all become so frazzled, so angry and so short-tempered that we act frazzled and angry and short-tempered. What's remarkable to me is how this permeates whole generations. The other day at a drive-through, I reminded the teenage girl serving me that she forgot my drinks. She looked at me, hissed, rolled her eyes, and then took her sweet time getting me the sodas.

Now keep in mind I never yelled at the girl, never snapped at the girl, never did anything to make her the pill she was. I never told the girl, "Hey, you idiot . . . you forgot something here!" I simply reminded her of an oversight. All I got was 'tude.

It's the tollkeeper at the bridge, the woman who serves you coffee at the shop, the computer help desk guy on the phone. It's all of these places, all of these venues and all of these professions.

Some might argue it's the pay in some of these professions that keeps the employees rude. I don't buy it. What could explain the bank branch manager who couldn't be more indifferent or the CEO who couldn't be more dismissive? Believe me, I've seen rich jerks and I've seen poor jerks. Trust me when I say that jerkery knows no financial pedigree.

What's happened in our society is that we have stopped caring about our society. We forget the little things, so it's no wonder some of us screw up the big things. Me? I try to work hard on the little things. I know it's not much, but on the 27th of each month, every month, every year, I do something special for my wife - a small gift, a dinner out, I don't know. It heralds the first day of our first date. And we've been doing it now for more than 20 years. Trust me, I don't break the bank for the occasion, but I do mark the occasion. Because that little date is a big thing to me.

And trust me again when I say I can be just as short-tempered as the next guy . . . I am of Italian descent, after all! But I try not to start out that way, and my days at work are much more constructive and pleasant when I am not that way. That's the idea - to look at the good ideas, the good possibilities and the good results.

My mom was prone to using a lot of overrun phrases. One of her favorites was the old "honey" over "vinegar" line, that we can get more being nice than being nasty. She was right then. She's right now.

Part of the problem with service in this country is we don't honor it like we once did. There's nothing wrong or evil about having a bad day. There's everything wrong with making others have to have it . . . with you.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: cavuto; turass
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To: PJ-Comix; basil; PistolPaknMama
I was on my way home from Washington DC last month and stopped at a rest area. I came back to my car and was sitting there getting my toll money together when I hear a bump - guy in the car next to me tapped his door into my passenger side. He said, "oops, sorry" and I waved at him and said, "that's OK, don't worry about it." It didn't sound like it was a serious ding... but anyway, he gets the attitude on! "Well I SAID I was SORRY, don't tell me it's OK..." He automatically assumed I was being sarcastic.

So then what - get into an argument with somebody over how you weren't trying to be an a$$hole?

101 posted on 06/02/2004 9:00:42 AM PDT by dbwz (CAN THE BAN!)
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To: Maria S

I was at a nursery the other week looking for plants. The young man who assisted me went out of his way to help me and my friend. He couldn't have been more than eighteen.

When I encounter polite people in public I try to always compliment them on their behavior.


102 posted on 06/02/2004 9:01:08 AM PDT by Lijahsbubbe
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To: Skooz

That's not possible! :)


103 posted on 06/02/2004 9:05:22 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Lord, I apologize . . . and be with the starving pygmies in New Guinea amen.)
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To: Skooz
So now, I go out of my way to be nice to people serving me. The only times I have lost it were when the person was being rude or snotty and I was in the right. Even then, I have invariably apologized.

Ah, that's the true test, isn't it. I am always polite, but my test comes when I am in turn treated rudely. I always respond in kind. I don't like that. Working on it.

104 posted on 06/02/2004 9:05:46 AM PDT by Lijahsbubbe
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To: Maria S
Outside of the NE these attitudes owe a lot to the welfare-bred attitude that the government owes me my living and just out of spite makes me serve these burgers and waste x hours a day when they should just give my rightful money every week.

In the NE, well it's the NE.

105 posted on 06/02/2004 9:34:10 AM PDT by arthurus (Better to fight them over THERE than over HERE.)
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To: Riley
Can't you answer my question, and then die?

You were on your employer's time. You should either clock out or answer the customer's question and then clock out before you die.

106 posted on 06/02/2004 9:37:44 AM PDT by arthurus (Better to fight them over THERE than over HERE.)
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To: Riley
There is, no doubt, a lot of unjustified rudeness on the part of service industry employees. But, it is a two way street. People treat retail folks like s**t. Glad I am not doing that anymore.

I couldn't agree more. I've been dealing with the public since I got out of the Army. In that time I have learned that The American People are assh*les.

107 posted on 06/02/2004 9:47:44 AM PDT by IDontLikeToPayTaxes
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To: LadyShallott
I fly every three months usually and have done so for years. The level of courtesy (if you can call it that) has declined

I flew Delta and KAL last year on the same trip, both airlines both ways. The difference was large. The KAL staff greets you as you board. If you ask for more snacks (pretty good selection of GOOD snacks) the stew rushes them to you and asks if you need something to drink. The meals are high quality. When you debark the entire crew is lined up to thank you and hope you enjoyed your flight.

108 posted on 06/02/2004 9:48:53 AM PDT by ThanhPhero (Ong lam hanh huong di La Vang)
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To: AmericanInTokyo
particularly after maybe a year or two in Japan (where one gets spoiled)

It is like that in Korea and, though less formally, in Viet Nam. I suspect it is a characteristic of East Asia and of developing economies in entrepreneurial populations. Japan, though is special because the formality is a basic component of the culture.

109 posted on 06/02/2004 9:55:27 AM PDT by ThanhPhero (Ong lam hanh huong di La Vang)
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To: Maria S

tOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!


110 posted on 06/02/2004 9:56:13 AM PDT by Quix (Choose this day whom U will serve: Shrillery & demonic goons or The King of Kings and Lord of Lords)
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To: AmericanInTokyo

In Paris they pretty much can't be fired and they will not be promoted. Their attitude has no effect on their paycheck.


111 posted on 06/02/2004 10:00:28 AM PDT by ThanhPhero (Ong lam hanh huong di La Vang)
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To: Protagoras

My, my you are on a hair trigger, aren't you?


112 posted on 06/02/2004 10:13:02 AM PDT by ThanhPhero (Ong lam hanh huong di La Vang)
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To: ThanhPhero
My, my you are on a hair trigger, aren't you?

Not a bit. But you need a sense of history to understand it.

I never let these same old people get away with this crap without exposing them for it.

I don't suffer fools gladly.

113 posted on 06/02/2004 10:19:08 AM PDT by Protagoras (Control is the objective , freedom is the obstacle.)
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To: Protagoras

You are right in what you say. "What they really need is to be fired as soon as they act like that..." Unfortunately, you'll end up "settling out of court" with some idiot who has decided to sue you...and found a judge to hear the case.

"Thankfully, they don't represent ALL of their generation, but it's not encouraging..." I think another poster put the blame for this generation on their parents...and that's exactly right, IMO. Kids "act" the way they've been taught, and most young people these days have been taught less than gracious manners and behavior. But hey! they sure know their computers, gameboys, cell phones, etc.

"If you heard the way they talk, particularly the females, you would wince." No kidding!!!


114 posted on 06/02/2004 10:21:43 AM PDT by Maria S ("And an angel still rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm."George W. Bush 1/20/01)
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To: ARCADIA

Some companies do care about their customers, but some know they're coming to buy the cheap Chinese stuff --- it's the prices that lure them and they'll come regardless --- service isn't a priority because the customers come anyhow.


115 posted on 06/02/2004 10:28:01 AM PDT by FITZ
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To: Maria S
Part of the problem with service in this country is we don't honor it like we once did.

(Neil Cavuto aside, because I know he's a good guy),

If customers take service folk for granted and treat them as if they aren't humans as well, then it should only be expected that the service folk eventually behave the same toward customers.

116 posted on 06/02/2004 10:31:48 AM PDT by k2blader (Why isn't Social Security voluntary? Think about it.)
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To: newgeezer
Sure but, what we're missing to test our theories is high unemployment.

There is high unemployment in this region of the country and it's getting ruder. I just don't believe a company can expect the front line employees to set the tone, hope they can offer the lowest wages possible, do nothing to retain good employees and thing they'll just luck out eventually and get all good ones. Most problems are poor management. You get crappy employees when you don't spend time on interviewing them or paying attention to what they do to your customers. It all comes from the top. It's poor selection, poor training, poor supervision, poor policies or lack of enforcement. You see that when the bottom line is a quick buck.

117 posted on 06/02/2004 10:34:33 AM PDT by FITZ
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To: hispanarepublicana
I was in KMart the other day

Every time I go into the Ace Hardware near here, there are several sales people lined up waiting to ask customers as they walk in the store if they need help. Not an occasional clerk --- all of them do this. If you tell them you know what you're looking for or just want to look around, they come by now and then to make sure you still don't want any help. The only thing I can think is that this isn't by accident, that the business is run a certain way because the hardward down the street isn't like that at all. There the clerks stand around and talk and act like they don't know the customers are there.

118 posted on 06/02/2004 10:47:53 AM PDT by FITZ
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To: FITZ

What's more in this store, the employees that look 18 are just as eager to wait on you as those who look 60 --- it is too across the board to be some kind of accident.


119 posted on 06/02/2004 10:52:21 AM PDT by FITZ
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To: Maria S
Most customers are complete asshats! Thus, I normally get great service because I am nice to waiters/waitresses and others that are serving me. Words like "Please." and "Thank you." go a long way.

More people should read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People and learn how to act politely.

120 posted on 06/02/2004 6:48:34 PM PDT by TexRef
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