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Love on a Porn Set: One Woman's Story (ABC Expose of Porn Industry)
ABC News ^ | 5/27/04

Posted on 05/28/2004 5:25:59 AM PDT by Aquinasfan

A Mormon Girl Gets Her Start in the Adult Movie Business

Jan. 23 — When 20-year-old Michelle saw the handsome Spaniard who would later become her fiancé, she thought it was love at first sight.

[WARNING: This article contains descriptions of sexual acts that some readers may find offensive.]

"The day we met, he said, 'You're going to be the mother of my children. I love you,'" she remembers. "You know what I mean? I never had that before. I never had a guy be so in love with me."

The couple met on the set of a porn film in a rented house in Prague in July 2001.

Michelle, the daughter of a retired Air Force captain and former bishop in the Mormon Church, was an up-and-coming starlet in the adult video world. She had had some setbacks in her first year in the business, but believed her career was turning around with the Prague trip, which would be her first starring role. Her co-star, 28-year-old Nacho Vidal, was already a well-established star.

The director had told Michelle that Vidal liked her work, and when the pair saw each other they immediately fell into each other's arms, kissing from one side of the house to the other.

"There's nothing bad about you," she told him admiringly as they prepared for the shoot. "You don't know me very well" he replied with a grin.

But when the director finally got the pair to settle down to the business at hand — filming a sex scene — the tone changed. Without any prompting, Vidal got rough during the sex, slapping Michelle's face violently from side to side, and choking her. [Pleased to meet you/Hope you guessed my name]

Afterward, she looked shaken, her face reddened and her eyes watery. But she insisted she was OK. "I look torn up — can you tell?," she asked an ABCNEWS producer who was following her progress for Primetime. Laughing and wiping her eye, she turned away and said without conviction, "I took a beating today, and it was great."

'Belladonna' Is Born

Michelle had gotten her start in the business at 18, when she came to Los Angeles from her home in Utah to look for work as a nude photograph model. When she failed to get modeling work, her agent encouraged her to try porn. She refused at first. "I always hated porn. I thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world," she told Primetime, which followed her career for more than two years.

But she finally agreed. Taking the name Belladonna, like the poisonous flower, she found herself preparing for what she thought would be a simple boy-girl sex scene. She was shocked when the director told her he wanted her to do anal sex — something she says she had never even thought about before. Worried she'd have to go through with it if she wanted to work again, she let him talk her into it. "I was kind of scared. I didn't know if I could say no," she remembers. "I didn't know any better, you know?"

After the session, she was shattered. "I wasn't ready for anal sex.... It was painful. But I can hide it really well." She had just turned 18, the legal age for participation in sexually explicit films.

Michelle went on more shoots over the next few months. Then her agent sent her on a job where she would have sex with male actors in prison outfits — 12 of them. Once again, she tried to back out, telling the director it was "sick," but once again she was talked into it. She had sex — all kinds — with the 12 men. "It was really hard because I really felt like a piece of meat ... in a lion's cage, 12 lions.... I had to do a lot of things I can't imagine anyone wanting to do." She was paid $4,000.

Afterward, she says, she couldn't stop crying. She packed her bags and went home to her family in Utah.

Glimpse of the Big Time

But within a year, she was back, even agreeing to promote the prison movie that had so upset her.

She began to feel that her career was picking up. She got a small part in a movie for VCA, one of the "high end" companies that produce big-budget films, and hoped it might lead to a contract. On the shoot, she met porn legend Ron Jeremy, who was making a cameo, and began to feel like she was fitting in. "The first second I walk in, this girl grabs my breast, and I'm like, Wow, you know, that's like the best welcome ... 'cause then you feel like, Oh, someone likes me, you know?"

Another company considered giving her a contract, but at a meeting, the owner, veteran porn star Ona Zee, sensed that Michelle was not emotionally ready to become an adult star. "There's a part of me that wants to say to you, 'Run for the hills, girl, do something else, because you can be something better,'" she told her.

At the high-end companies — which produce a small proportion of the thousands of adult titles released each year — performers often have contracts and can make six figures by shooting just eight to 10 movies a year. They can pick their own partners and condoms are generally required. Shot on film with elaborate, sets, costumes and plots, the movies can have budgets up to $250,000.

But Michelle did not get a studio contract, and ended up taking a job with a company known for "gonzo" porn — sex-only, amateur-looking productions shot on video. The company, Elegant Angel, was making a film in Prague and offered her a starring role, which she hoped would show the big studios that she could carry a film.

Love Blossoms in Prague

She was thrilled at the attention Vidal gave her during the week in Prague — but wary. "It's weird to have a guy love you that much. That almost scares me because I have a hard time trusting men," she told Primetime, explaining that her first boyfriend cheated on her repeatedly and ultimately left her for a stripper. Privately, Vidal had told Primetime he could never be with just one woman, and would be happy if Michelle's attraction did not lead anywhere.

She came back to Los Angeles by herself, so sore from the week's filming that she says she could hardly walk. But then she flew to Spain to visit Vidal, and their relationship seemed to be going places. She said he could keep having sex with other women, as long as he agreed to be "honest to me, loyal, and just respect me and tell me that I'm number one every day."

She even began hearing wedding bells, telling Primetime, "The second I get married, I won't having sex with men in this business any more."

Wedding Bells

By December 2001, Michelle and Vidal were engaged. As she proudly showed off her diamond ring, saying how pretty it was, Vidal joked in his Spanish accent, "I need to f—k so many girls for that ring."

The couple was in love, Michelle says, but they were fighting regularly. Vidal would sometimes get what he calls "Latino jealous" when he saw her talking to other men at clubs. Michelle told Primetime, "It's hard to be in a relationship with someone in porn."

By now, she was working steadily, even shooting for the same company she shot the prison gangbang for. "I guess now I've gotten past the whole feeling-bad-about-it thing. I'm like, 'OK, I did it and that was pretty damn rough of me' ... Like wow, you know?," she said with a laugh. "I can say that I've done pretty much everything there is to do, and I can walk away feeling a little proud about it, you know?"

The Primetime producers who had been following her noticed changes. At 18, she had said she would never use drugs, but now Primetime learned that she was sometimes high on marijuana during her scenes. She was working without condoms, though she said the risk of AIDS was never far from her mind — or her prayers. "The fans don't like to see condoms ... If I would have said I want to use condoms every time, I really wouldn't get any work," she explained. She contracted chlamydia, which can make you sterile.

And anal sex — which she had be talked into during her first shoot — was now her specialty. "Funny, isn't it? Something I didn't want to do and now I'm known best for it," she told Primetime. No longer a fresh face in the business, she found she had to agree to even riskier sex acts to earn the same money.

Ona Zee, the producer who had interviewed Michelle the previous year, noticed a difference, too. "I said to my husband, Our baby is all grown up and left home. She's no longer the adorable fresh-faced girl that I met ... Now she's really in the life ... Even in the pictures that I see of her, she's much harder, much tougher."

Behind the Smile

During interviews with Primetime, Michelle kept the happy smile she had always had — even when describing things that many people would find disturbing. However, her composure cracked when Diane Sawyer asked why she always smiled. Tears came to her eyes as she said, "Because I like to hide — hide everything, you know?" Then she began to cry, explaining that she hides her real emotions because she wants to show everyone how happy she is. "And I'm not happy ... I don't like myself at all," she said.

Michelle confessed she often felt physical revulsion during her scenes: "My whole entire body feels it when I'm doing it and ... I feel so — so gross." While pretending to be enjoying the sex, she said, she was in fact counting the minutes, telling herself, "Hey, I only have this much time left. Don't worry about it. Get the check. Gonna go deposit it in your bank." She admitted: "You get addicted to the money."

Like other performers Primetime spoke to, Michelle said that during shooting she often imagines herself outside her body. "I call it the 'other half,'" she said.

Bringing Home a Trophy

In January 2002, Michelle's Prague movie won an award at the Adult Video News awards in Las Vegas, considered the Oscars of the adult industry. Things were not going smoothly with Vidal that day — he complained that Michelle "don't do the ironing my clothes... I still 28 and I need my mother," and at the ceremony he openly checked out other women — but there were crowds of admiring fans for Michelle and she soaked up the attention.

After going on stage to pick the trophy, she was beaming, telling Primetime she had worked hard for it. "I think this is the very beginning of my career, like I've just begun," she said.

And at the 2003 AVN awards two weeks ago, Michelle was an even bigger winner, taking home awards for best supporting actress and three other categories.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: catholiclist; porn
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To: been_lurking; AppyPappy
You preach well, but I really don't think there is anything real behind your sermon.

It's called theocracy. It's very real.

AppyPappy compares pornography to putting ground glass in baby food. He also compares it to rape.

There's a basic (and huge) misunderstanding about voluntary interactions versus initiation of force or fraud.

61 posted on 05/28/2004 6:30:29 AM PDT by jimt
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To: Aquinasfan
This isn't a good analogy because drug use and gambling are not intrinsically evil.

Sure they are, for tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people. Just not to you. Therein lies the problem with your silly "criminalize intrinsic evil" scheme.

62 posted on 05/28/2004 6:31:45 AM PDT by 54-46 Was My Number
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To: TheBigB
She has a strange kinda face, I think. Jenna always looks good. :-)

For my money, Aria Giovanni is top of the heap. I'm sweet on that Latina/Mediterranean look.

63 posted on 05/28/2004 6:33:03 AM PDT by 54-46 Was My Number
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To: 54-46 Was My Number
If she were my daughter, she would have been raised in such a way that she'd realize that porn wasn't just another career choice

Could you get me a copy of that guarantee your kids signed saying they'll never be led into doing anything stupid?
64 posted on 05/28/2004 6:33:16 AM PDT by anonymous_user (Telling the truth means you never have to change your story.)
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To: AppyPappy
Not even if it was YOUR daughter?

She wouldn't be my daughter for long.

65 posted on 05/28/2004 6:33:17 AM PDT by Agnes Heep (Solus cum sola non cogitabuntur orare pater noster)
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To: 54-46 Was My Number
Yes, yes: women who willingly have sex for thousands of dollars as a professional activity are exactly the same as women who've been raped. I'm starting to think you're a real crackpot, sir: no offense.

You must be a Libertarian. You attack a position that only exists in your mind.

66 posted on 05/28/2004 6:33:46 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: Aquinasfan
Go ahead, defend this evil. This girl's blood is on the hands of everyone who supports pornography in any way.

It's on her own hands --- this girl did everything she could to get into porn and never did anything to get away from it. She wanted to sell her body from the start, it sounds like doing any real kind of work was something she was too lazy to do --- when she was 18, she could have done something like wait tables or clean houses -- she didn't want to. She wanted easy money. The love of money is the root of all evil --- in this case it's the girl's own love of money --- she's no victim.

67 posted on 05/28/2004 6:33:54 AM PDT by FITZ
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To: AppyPappy

I did not see this last night, but I did when it was first shown.

Unless I am mistaken in my memory, her mother did appear for a brief interview, sitting right with her daughter. I was waiting for her to drag her daughter away but instead she kind of shrugged with a "what can you do?" attitude.

I did feel very sorry for this poor girl. She was plainly crying, literally, for help.


68 posted on 05/28/2004 6:34:20 AM PDT by cyncooper (There's a RAT line in Iraq)
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To: FrankR

Quality post, Frank.


69 posted on 05/28/2004 6:34:23 AM PDT by 54-46 Was My Number
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To: been_lurking
So, enlighten all of us as to the specific actions you have taken to remove young women from a life of porn? How many have you saved from this terrible fate?

None.

You preach well, but I really don't think there is anything real behind your sermon.

Assuming for the sake of argument that "there isn't anything real behind [my] sermon," does this invalidate the argument against pornography?

Does this allow you to maintain an indifferent attitude to the fate of all of those engaged in pornography?

70 posted on 05/28/2004 6:35:07 AM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: anonymous_user
Could you get me a copy of that guarantee your kids signed saying they'll never be led into doing anything stupid?

Sure: post your email address and I'll send it to you.

71 posted on 05/28/2004 6:35:17 AM PDT by 54-46 Was My Number
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To: Aquinasfan

Aside from the sleeze of the topic, I found it just as disgusting when Sawyer (twice) took a stab at "Conservative" Fox News. I found that stunning. Without showing any proof, they accused Murdoch and "Consevative" Fox News as being part of the corporate industry that bennefited from the porn business.


72 posted on 05/28/2004 6:35:19 AM PDT by tang-soo (Daniel's Seventy Weeks - Daniel Chapter 9)
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To: 54-46 Was My Number

Janine was probably the most beautiful, IMHO.


73 posted on 05/28/2004 6:35:37 AM PDT by TheBigB (When Woody Allen and Soon-Yi are in bed together, does he ever yell, "Who's your daddy?!")
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To: R. Scott
Good for ABC's ratings. Sex and violence.

Red herring.

74 posted on 05/28/2004 6:36:18 AM PDT by Aquinasfan (Isaiah 22:22, Rev 3:7, Mat 16:19)
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To: jimt
There's a basic (and huge) misunderstanding about voluntary interactions versus initiation of force or fraud.

So if a person asks you to shoot him in the head, do you think it should be legal to shoot him? After all, it is voluntary. It's rather similar to paying a person to expose themselves to AIDS.

75 posted on 05/28/2004 6:36:24 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: AppyPappy
You must be a Libertarian. You attack a position that only exists in your mind.

So, your M.O. is calling anyone who calls attention to mistakes in your posts a "Libertarian," as if the word is some sort of epithet?

76 posted on 05/28/2004 6:36:55 AM PDT by 54-46 Was My Number
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To: Aquinasfan

There's no point in discussing anything if we disagree on the right of individuals to make their own choices without government interference. If you think the government should bust people for having unapproved but otherwise consentual sex then it's clear that we need to ban porn, and fornication, and sodomy, etc. If on the other hand, you believe in individual rights, the only issue here is whether or not the girl is of legal age.


77 posted on 05/28/2004 6:37:53 AM PDT by garbanzo (Free people will set the course of history)
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To: Aquinasfan
Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" "I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"

Ah, one of the classic intellecutal dishonesties. Of course, Cain's wrong was not in declining to take responsibility for other people's behavior, but in compounding a lie (Cain knew perfectly well what had become of Abel -- he'd killed him!) with flippancy.

78 posted on 05/28/2004 6:38:28 AM PDT by steve-b (Panties & Leases Would Look Good On Spammers)
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To: AppyPappy

No one wants their own daughter or other family member to end up like this --- but once they're 18, you really couldn't do much to stop them if this is the route they choose to go. You have to raise them --- long before they're 18 to value something else more than money and to appreciate good honest work. This girl did it all for the money --- no one forced her, she left home just to do this, it doesn't seem she ever tried to do any kind of work to earn a living.


79 posted on 05/28/2004 6:38:50 AM PDT by FITZ
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To: garbanzo
Coincidentally this is the age of consent in the US.

This is true. She "knew what she was doing." Only she didn't. She was young and naive and victimized for it by a civilization that should be able to pride itself on protecting young and naive women. The predators come out, the prey is weak, and the bold garbanzo says, "Hey, it's between her and them."

Men should be noble, but we have become beasts. And the worst part is, the only remaining way to protect future 18 year olds will be to expose them to this filth at a younger age so they are more wary when they become 18.

Shalom.

80 posted on 05/28/2004 6:38:51 AM PDT by ArGee (After 517, the abolition of man is complete)
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