Posted on 05/27/2004 3:55:06 AM PDT by billorites
We're here, we're queer, we're in your aquarium...
Of course, with Michael Jackson, money is no object.
LOL! That is just about as politically correct as you can get!
This is the sort of article which makes Mark Morford feel all warm and fuzzy.
I know we're supposed to use original titles, but....
This article was a disappointment. ;-)
With all the equipment?
It's a fungus-like protist. Descriptive of sexual deviants in general???
I'll say. I was going to post my own wild sex adventure and see if anyone could top it.
Just the other month, me and the old lady left the nightlight on while we did it.
I know it's hard to believe, but I swear it's true! We're gettin' wild in our middle-age years!
If the theory of evolution is true, then why do mothers still only have two hands?
I guess the writer couldn't find a single mammal or bird example so he was stuck with sea creatures and some plants.
--Tony Soprano
Really, what the hell kind of audience did this writer have in mind? Gay zoo goers who feel the need to have their sexual preference justified?
Cool article!
DefCon wrote:
Sounds plausible to me.
I am a male lesbian.
A lot of times it's a dominance thing...
I've seen homosexual behavior amongst llamas.
Try explaining THAT to the 4-H kids!
You notice how so many of the Smithsonian's articles have tie-ins now to movies or other commercial endeavors? Well some Californian academic has just written a book on this theme and how human sexual aberrations are actually functional - ie homosexuality is powerfully bonding in a military society like ancient Greece. Forget if the author is a transsexual him/herself but the notion comes to mind.
Mrs Vs
Zorba However, what is more interesting, er ... is the molluscs's er ... sex life.
Mrs Jalin (stopping dead) Oh!
Zorba Yes, the mollusc is a randy little fellow whose primitive brain scarcely strays from the subject of the you know what.
Mrs Jalin (going back to sofa) Disgusting!
Mr Jalin Ought not to be allowed.
Zorba The randiest of the gastropods is the limpet. This hot-blooded little beast with its tent-like shell is always on the job. Its extra-marital activities are something startling. Frankly I don't know how the female limpet finds the time to adhere to the rock-face. How am I doing?
Mrs Jalin Disgusting.
Mr Jalin But more interesting.
Mrs Jalin Oh yes, tch, tch, tch.
Zorba Another loose-living gastropod is the periwinkle. This shameless little libertine with its characteristic ventral locomotion ... is not the marrying kind: 'Anywhere anytime' is its motto. Up with the shell and they're at it.
Mrs Jalin How about the lamellibranchs?
Zorba I'm coming to them ... the great scallop (holds one up) ... this tatty, scrofulous old rapist, is second in depravity only to the common clam. (holds up a clam) This latter is a right whore, a harlot, a trollop, a cynical bed-hopping firm-breasted Rabelaisian bit of sea food that makes Fanny Hill look like a dead Pope... and finally among the lamellibranch bivalves, that most depraved of the whole sub-species - the whelk. The whelk is nothing but a homosexual of the worst kind. This gay boy of the gastropods, this queer crustacean, this mincing mollusc, this screaming, prancing, limp-wristed queen of the deep makes me sick.
KIRK: "But you're not a fish, Mr. Spock..."
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