Unfortunately, that may not be possible. Computers are specifically built in order to *be* understandable by their owners. The universe's properties, on the other hand, don't seem to have been formulated with a consideration for what might seem "easily understandable" for us.
In fact, J.B.S. Haldane's famous line may well be very true: "The universe is not only stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we *can* imagine."
Or on a more flippant note, there's Mark Twain's, "Of course truth is stranger than fiction: Fiction, after all, has to make sense."
The point of course is that fiction is purposely constructed so as to make some sense to the reader -- but reality is under no such restriction whatsoever, and is often such that it makes little or no sense to human notions of how things "ought" to be or "ought" to behave.
The universe just is what it is, whether we can wrap our minds around it or not.
That's not what some of my customers tell me!
The rest of your post is well taken, it did not come into being to be comprehensible by me. I just wish someone could explain a few concepts with decent analogies, I do that for my customers with their computers.
This whole "curved time thing" is too difficult, I just see time as being simply linear. I guess my computer grasps it that way, too!