I can top your steel-toe boots. My dad always delighted in passing through the metal detectors even back in the 70s and 80s (he passed through the big metal detector in the sky in 84).
The 9 inch long plates used to hold his right thigh bone together would get everybody excited. He just doesn't know the fun he's missing these days. Wonder if St. Peter had to get his wand out?
Naw, he probably just checks an atonement-rich blood covering.