Posted on 05/18/2004 8:09:41 AM PDT by OldBlondBabe
Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach "Y'allbonics" in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon line. Included here are some samples of "Y'allbonics." If you do not understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation.
HEIDI: (noun) Greeting.
HIRE YEW: (complete sentence) Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH: (noun) The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER: (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS: (noun) A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK: (verb) Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a Coke."
RANCH: (noun) A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL: (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR: (noun) A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR: (noun) A rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE: (noun) A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime."
RETARD: (verb) To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FARN: (adjective) Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed .must be from some farn country."
DID: (adjective) Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
ARE: (noun) A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR: (noun) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
After warshing'n drying clothes, y'all hast to arn 'em, you hear?
How 'bout, "I'll tell yew what!" And then...nothing else. :) Somebody will say, "Well, what?" And we say, "Well hail, I jist told yew!"
Or as my mother still says, "I should've eaten ya when yer bones was soft!"
My ma never did give me that one, but ma waf is a pro at ending sentences part way through, and rarely includes the subject. I call it B-speak. and she wonders why I always am sayin "huh?"
You poor dear....
Down and out, depressed, upset...
After Kerry lost the 2004 election Tom Dachle was all tore up.
My Uncle Ben, born near Ashville, N.C. about 1880, used to preface his every significant remark with, "I'm hyar to tell yew..."
I greatly fear it will hinder them in learning Spanish, leaving them unable to communicate with the majority of our fellow citizens.
Incorrect spelling. Correct spelling: "ah'll". (FR spell checker will not catch this).
Ewe right real gooder. Tanks.
"I'm hyar to tell yew"
Which migrated to Texas and became.......
"I'll till you whad"
The sayin' round these parts is:"Son, that there's table meat."
Overheard in an Arkansas hotel:
Customer: "Ah gotta leak in muh sink."
Front desk: "Well, go 'head."
fronchard. Hes out in the fronchard.
That's obviously true, butt, he yells "OH MY GOSH!!! LOOKIT THAT!!!" like a total dumbutt at everything he is shown by some bureaucrat twit in a State Parks uniform.
I'll never stop laffin at the time he asked some dumb "Doesent"(deliberately mis-spelled in distain) that was leadin him around by the nose and they came upon a mariache(don't know how to spell Mexican stuff) band and he asks loudly... "WHAT'S ALL THE HOLLERIN ABOUT?"
Now come on... ya gotta agree that makes him a pure unadulterated dumbutt, right? I admit he may be a dreamy dream job dumbutt, butt, a dumbutt nonetheless!!!
Mrs Wasp and I watch him religiously just to laff our butts off!!!
Reminds me of the hymn, "Gladly, the Cross-Odd Bear." ;-D
Although I have lived up North most of my life, my mother's a tarheel, so I know something about this one. What this expresses is not just ignorance on the part of the Yankee but lack of manners as well. You walk into the hardware store by yourself and the man behind the counter (whom your family has known for 30 years) greets you and says, "How y'all do'in?"
Any ignorant rude uncouth Yankee immediately thinks the man has committed a grammatical error because the self-centered Yankee thinking like Hillary that everything is about him thinks that the man behind the counter is only asking about the damned Yankee himself. What is not recognized by said ill-bread uncouth Yankee is that the gentleman behind the counter is politely asking about the whole family whose comings and goings he has followed for 30 years. Dumb ill-mannered uncouth self-centered Yankees should stop expressing opinions about things they don't know anything about - but when did that ever stop a liberal.
Glad you like them. I certainly do, it's wonderful to listen to, enchanting to my ears. I love hillbillies, and I am proud to be one, my Granny and Gramps came from southern TN and settled in the Ozarks, though I grew up (or "came up") in St. Louis ...Some of us sibs used to spend summers with them...
How bout "used ta could" like, "I used ta could sang in three octaves."
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