Posted on 05/18/2004 8:09:41 AM PDT by OldBlondBabe
Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to teach "Y'allbonics" in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon line. Included here are some samples of "Y'allbonics." If you do not understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation.
HEIDI: (noun) Greeting.
HIRE YEW: (complete sentence) Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH: (noun) The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER: (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS: (noun) A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK: (verb) Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a Coke."
RANCH: (noun) A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL: (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR: (noun) A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR: (noun) A rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE: (noun) A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime."
RETARD: (verb) To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FARN: (adjective) Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed .must be from some farn country."
DID: (adjective) Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
ARE: (noun) A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR: (noun) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
Tear your ass: Definition..get out of here. go on. git. or head out when used as tear MY ass. Paste tense is Tore your ass.
Usage: "Im fixin to tear my ass down to the beach for the weekend to catch some bull reds, yall wanna go? "
Example 2: Used when mad at someone and tired of their company. "She said she loved that other guy so I told her to tear her ass"
But I woke up this mornin with a crick in my neck.
Up the road and down the road were two I heard, too. Not sure it's a Southern thing, though.
Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes...
Southern guy visiting New England, comes upon a lovely coed.
"So, where do you go to school?" says he.
She looks down her nose and snootily replies, "Yale."
He cups his hands to his mouth, "SO, WHERE DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"
When I was in Boston someone gave us directions to something "off the main artery".
LOL, every time I hear "ICRC" on the news I always miss what they're saying because it sounds like, "icy RC".
Don't worry none. He's good people.
Normally it's breakfast, lunch, and supper, but dinner is eaten at noon on Sunday or holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas.
(Of course, I mean retired)
Not true.
Southern boy brought in the wastebasket from the hall and said to the teacher,"I fotched the wastebasket." When the teacher looked at him disapprovingly, he said obligingly, "Looky there! I said fotched when I knew to say brung."
LOL That's a good one, too. My Mom always said, "Well, ah 'swan." Still dunno what it means.
Then there's - Show nuf, Ah dun seen it.
I thought it was "awl." As in, "Checkyer awl, mister?"
bump
I know, but then I couldn't use the play on words.
Most impressive mullet EVER.
These aren't authentic. Everybody knows that it's either a "pickup" or a "truck", but never both:-)
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