LOL!
I had one mugu insist on me traveling to his country (Togo) for a face to face meeting. Naturally I tried all sorts of angles to throw him off and continue the deal through email. But he refused to do it through email. He insisted on me going to his country for a face to face meeting. I tried appealing to his greed. I tried scaring him off by claiming that when I went to the embassy for a tourist visa, the embassy officials seemed to know who he was and submitted me to brutal ointerrogation about him. It didn't work. Nothing was persuading him. He still insisted on the face to face meeting. He was CREEPING ME OUT. All I wanted to do was get rid of the guy.
Of course I could have fed him a bunch of phony details of my plane trip and sent him to the airport for nothing, but I was too tired to forge up plane tickets, and what not. Also had my hands full with other mugus.
So, after not contacting him for five days, he impatiently emails me again asking if I got the visa yet. I answered back:
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Hi Collins,
I'm writing this to you from an internet kiosk in Charles De Gaulle airport in France, on my way back home. I'm waiting for my flight back to the USA right now. Aint technology great??? I should be back home tomorrow afternoon.
I do not know the meaning of this email you sent me. I already traveled to Togo and met with you. We (my banker Steve and I) stayed at Mercure Sarakawa at Boulevard du Mono BP 2232, LOME. Remember? Our room was on the third floor. I managed to get Steve to calm down and go with me. He was looking forward to getting away from his wife, Marcy. That was a great room you booked for us. (Oh, and thanks for the prostitutes too! Those were great looking women! And talented too! Wow! ) Steve also loved the olympic sized swimming pool in the hotel. And thank you for picking us up at the airport, taking us to our hotel, and then driving us back again for our departure. I MUST say that you have a really nice car. Even in my country it's not often you get to ride in a BMW
It was too bad that our meeting was brief, but it was good that the business deal took only one day instead of three as you said it would. Of course, I would have prefered for this whole transaction to take place in your office at the bank instead of at the lounge bar in my hotel, but as you said, your office was being redecorated.
I'm glad we managed to get things done and the papers signed so quickly so that you could back to your sick wife. I hope she is doing better by now. Please give her my best. And I hope you're both enjoying the laptop computers and cell phones I gave you.
I could tell that you showed concern about how much the fees cost for this transaction of ours. As if you were embarassed to tell me how much each and everything cost. Well, it may have totaled $75,000 dollars, but think of the riches we will both be able to enjoy in the months to come!
I want you to know that the 75 thousand dollars I gave you is no problem. You should not be concerned. I have faith in you keeping your promise to me that you will pay me back that money once the 30 million dollars is transfered into my account.
I must admit that my fears were unfounded of you and your country. Me and Steve had a great time! I can't thank you enough!
Thanks so much!
Al Bundy
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I haven't heard from him since. :-)