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Lincoln Under Oath
The NY Sun ^ | May 6, 2004 | William Katz

Posted on 05/13/2004 8:13:32 AM PDT by GarnetGirl04

Mr. Ben-Gorelick: Good evening, President Lincoln. The Select Commission on Gettysberg thanks you for taking time out from the Civil War to appear.

Lincoln: You're welcome, sir. I respect the commission.

Mr. B.: Before I get to the blunders at Gettysburg, sir, I must ask about the speech you just gave there dedicating the cemetery. This "Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth..." Do you have the...

Lincoln: I know it.

Mr.B.: I call your attention, sir, to paragraph three, where you state, "...that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause..." Do you recall that?

Lincoln: "...for which they gave the last full measure of devotion."

Mr. B.: What cause is that, sir?

Lincoln: Why, winning the war.

Mr. B.: No, that's not what I meant. We all want to win the war, and, of course, we honor the troops. But what's the cause? Let me be clear...

Lincoln: I wish you would be.

Mr.B.: Mr. Lincoln, you took us to war two years ago and said it was to save the union.

Lincoln: It still is.

Mr.B.: And yet - and I'll put this text in the record - there's not a single reference in this speech to saving the union.

Lincoln: It's implied.

Mr. B.: Not a single reference. Isn't it a fact that you said in the speech, "dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal"?

Lincoln: Yes, in the first sentence.

Mr. B.: And isn't it a fact that you say, and again I quote, "that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom..."?

Lincoln: Yes.

Mr. B.: Isn't it a fact that you were referring to slavery?

Lincoln: Well, yes. But I also said, second paragraph, that they died, quote, "that that nation might live."

Mr. B.: Yes, but what nation, sir? Clearly, your real goal is to abolish slavery. You took us to war under false pretense, didn't you, sir?

Lincoln: No.

Mr. B.: "...of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth." Last line of the speech, Mr. President. Nothing about saving the union. This freedom thing is, perhaps, a kind of obsession with you, isn't it? Some would say it's a fever.

Lincoln: There are good reasons for this war.

Mr.B. "I hate slavery," you said in Peoria, Ill. in 1854, seven years before you became president. This is a crusade. You couldn't knock off slavery then, so you're trying it now.

Lincoln: Saving the union is my main goal.

Mr. B.: No, it's a talking point. Let's take a break.

***

Chris Matthews: This is Chris Matthews, playing "Hardball." The commission's on a break. I'm here with the Gettysburg widows - four women whose husbands died in the battle. Okay, not much time. What'd you think of the president?

Clara: Disgraceful.

Mary: Sickening.

Mr. M.: You other two agree?

Elizabeth: Absolutely.

Mr. M.: Why?

Mary: Can I answer, Chris?

Mr. M.: Sure, Mary.

Mary: He just sits there and lies. He wears this silly hat. He grows this beard to look presidential...

Mr. M.: It's all image these days.

Mary: Right. But he ducked the questions. My husband didn't join the Army to fight slavery. He fought for the union. So Honest Abe, ha, goes to Gettysburg and gives a speech that lasts two minutes...

Mr. M.: Were you insulted? Elizabeth, quickly.

Elizabeth: Were we? He didn't mention a single soldier.

Ellen: Not one. And like Mr. Ben-Gorelick said, never talked about the union. You know what else?

Mr. M.: I've got 30 seconds.

Ellen: You know where he sat? He didn't sit with the families. He sat between that orator, Edward Everett, who gave a speech, and his flunkie, the secretary of state, William Seward. All cozy, protected by the politicians.

Mr. M.: Out of touch.

Mary: Terribly out.

Mr.M.: My gut tells me this guy's going down in the 1864 election. Back to the hearings.

***

Mr. B.: Mr. Lincoln, isn't it a fact that you also said in your speech that the men who died consecrated that cemetery, and I quote, "far above our poor power to add or detract"? Did you use those words, sir?

Lincoln: I did.

Mr. B.: Aren't you passing the buck?

Lincoln: Sir?

Mr. B.: You're president of America. Isn't it your job to add or detract?

Lincoln: Well, in some matters...

Mr. B.: Presidents add or detract all the time. Isn't it a fact that Thomas Jefferson added Louisiana, and James Polk added Texas?

Lincoln: It was a spiritual reference.

Mr. B.: Like your "under God" phrase?

Lincoln: Yes.

Mr.B: Doesn't that confirm the charge that you're a religious zealot, seeking to impose your views on the nation?

Lincoln: I do think this country exists under God.

Mr. B.: You may be in violation of the First Amendment, and might need counsel. I'll consult with my colleagues. We'll take a break.

***

Mr. M.: Chris Matthews back. More "Hardball." Wow. Gettysburg widows, what'd you think of that?

Clara: I'm scared to death. He thinks he's God.

Elizabeth: It's where he comes from - the sticks out there in Illinois. They're like that.

Mr. M.: You believe he's on a religious mission?

Mary: He pretty much admitted it.

Mr.M.:You know what I think? Bottom line: It's about Israel.


TOPICS: Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: 911commission; benvenista; gorlick

1 posted on 05/13/2004 8:13:32 AM PDT by GarnetGirl04
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To: GarnetGirl04
This is absolutely brilliant.
2 posted on 05/13/2004 8:15:20 AM PDT by Numbers Guy
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To: GarnetGirl04
"My daddy says, if you see it in The Sun, it's so."

- Virginia

3 posted on 05/13/2004 8:21:00 AM PDT by Old Sarge
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To: GarnetGirl04
I am far from a fan of Lincoln, but that is a great parody!
4 posted on 05/13/2004 8:22:42 AM PDT by RebelBanker (I understand now! "Allah" is Arabic for "Satan.")
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To: Numbers Guy
LOL!

Lincoln himself thought he'd lose the 1864 election. The country had paid too high a price for the war. His opponent, former General Mead, wanted to sue for peace, which would have left slavery intact in the CSA.
5 posted on 05/13/2004 8:23:11 AM PDT by Spok (They call me old Hugh, but I doubt I'm 80.)
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To: Numbers Guy; All
ditto - a brilliant "10" out of "10"!!!
6 posted on 05/13/2004 8:27:43 AM PDT by CGVet58 (God has granted us liberty, and we owe Him courage in return)
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To: Old Sarge
I love the Sun! It's the best paper in NY (though I admit I do guiltily glance at the Post once in a while)
7 posted on 05/13/2004 8:29:08 AM PDT by GarnetGirl04 (GarnetGirl)
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To: GarnetGirl04
His opponent, former General Mead ....

Wasn't that McClellan?

8 posted on 05/13/2004 8:38:15 AM PDT by Agnes Heep (Solus cum sola non cogitabuntur orare pater noster)
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To: Agnes Heep
yes...it was McClellan...
9 posted on 05/13/2004 8:46:57 AM PDT by Keith (IT'S ABOUT THE JUDGES)
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To: Keith
Whose wife had the great misfortunte to be named Ellen McClellan...........
10 posted on 05/13/2004 8:54:18 AM PDT by brothers4thID (Saying Dr. Rice hadn't heard of Al Queda is like saying Dr. Ruth hadn't heard about sex)
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To: GarnetGirl04
Garry Wills wrote a Pulitzer Prize winning book, "Lincoln at Gettysburg" on the premise that Lincoln snuck in all that "all men created equal" stuff even though it ran counter to the popular reason for fighting the war. Wills called it a gigantic intellectural slight of hand.

Walt

11 posted on 05/13/2004 9:01:15 AM PDT by WhiskeyPapa (.Virtue is the uncontested prize.)
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To: surelyclintonsbaddream
Ping
12 posted on 05/13/2004 9:53:23 AM PDT by scott7278 ("FR will NOT be used to help replace Bush with a Democrat." -- Jim Robinson, 2/01/04)
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To: WhiskeyPapa

I read that book in college. It basically disects the meanings of each phrase of the speech, right?


13 posted on 05/14/2004 6:29:58 AM PDT by brothers4thID (Saying Dr. Rice hadn't heard of Al Queda is like saying Dr. Ruth hadn't heard about sex)
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To: brothers4thID
I read that book in college. It basically disects the meanings of each phrase of the speech, right?

Wills does dissect the speech; he shows how it built on what Lincoln had said before. He also exposits on various rhetorical styles of the day.

I kept a dictionary handy as I read it. :)

Walt

14 posted on 05/14/2004 1:10:42 PM PDT by WhiskeyPapa (.Virtue is the uncontested prize.)
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