More moms made to pay child support

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel ^ | May 3, 2004 | MEGAN TWOHEY

[mafree]

A single mother in Milwaukee who had spent years raising her son without the financial support of his father gasped when informed that she would be required to pay child support.

News of the order came soon after the woman had agreed to allow the father to care for the son Mondays through Fridays and had forgiven him the thousands of dollars he owed her in child support.

"Her response was, 'How can he do this to me?' " said Lisa Marks, deputy director of the Milwaukee County Department of Child Support Enforcement.

A decade ago, it was unusual for mothers in Wisconsin to be required to pay child support. Marks said workers at her agency would laugh at the rare father who sought help.

But because of reforms in family law and the welfare system and a shift in gender roles, a small but growing number of mothers are now being ordered to pay child support here and across the country.

According to Ingrid Rothe, a researcher at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, mothers were the recipients of 4% of all child-support orders established in 1997 and 5% of the orders established in 2000.

Today, mothers make up as much as 15% of child-support orders in Wisconsin and a similar portion of caseloads nationwide, according to estimates by the state Department of Workforce Development's Bureau of Child Support.

The trend is shocking many mothers such as the one in Milwaukee but satisfying those fathers who have long viewed the child-support system as biased toward women.

Many child-support officials and family law attorneys agree that the trend reflects a more fair way of enforcing financial care of children.

"It was pure sexism," said John Hayes, director of the Milwaukee County child-support agency. "Fifteen years ago, you simply didn't ask for child-support orders against women."

Affected by the change are women of all incomes.

Rules for support Mothers are required to pay child support if the father has custody or primary placement of the child - scenarios that became increasingly common in the mid-1990s.

In 1994, the U.S. Census Bureau documented for the first time that fathers made up 15% of custodial parents nationwide - a number that has since remained relatively flat.

By this point, judges in family courts across the country had begun to acknowledge new gender roles in society.

More mothers were in the workplace permanently, more fathers were comfortable in the role of caretaker, and it was simply less practical for divorced or single mothers to always have custody or primary placement of their children, said John H. Short, a private family law attorney in Fort Atkinson who is chairman of the Wisconsin Bar Association's Family Law Section.

"Courts recognized that the Ozzie and Harriet model was out of style," Short said.

In Wisconsin, the shift in philosophy was reflected in legislation that took effect in 2000 that requires judges to maximize placements of children with both parents.

Meanwhile, changes in the late 1990s to the federal welfare law made the child-support system more automated and, as a result, more gender neutral.

"Child-support agencies no longer think of people as men or women," said Vicki Turetsky, a child-support expert and attorney at the Center for Law and Social Policy in Washington, D.C. "They're now moving more aggressively than ever before to enforce support against both moms and dads."

Aware of this new child-support culture, "more fathers than ever before are applying for services" at the Racine County Child Support Department, said Jon Lehman, the department's director.

Chris Walther, who runs a private family law practice in Milwaukee, said: "With each passing year, the number of cases involving women who owe child support that I deal with increases exponentially."

Private practices such as Walther's deal mostly with professional mothers with moderate to high incomes who have voluntarily relinquished custody or primary placement of their children to the father. The county child-support enforcement agencies see many mothers who are required to pay child support because their children have been removed from their homes and placed with relatives or in foster care.

Agencies once hesitated to go after payments from these mothers, who were often poor. But welfare reform has forced many of the mothers into jobs, making them more likely candidates for child-support enforcement, Marks said.

Word comes as surprise Word of their child-support orders often surprises mothers of all incomes, officials say.

"What do you mean I have to pay child support? I'm the mom!" is a common response among mothers in Milwaukee County's child-support system, Hayes said.

Some mothers refuse or are unable to make the payments.

A traveling nurse who for five years failed to pay child support for three children she left behind in Racine County recently was prosecuted as a felon and had to pay $50,000 of the $60,000 she owed, Lehman said.

While the culture change in the child-support system is being embraced by many single fathers, not all have faith.

Bryan Holland, a single father in Monroe, paid $300 a month in child support for his 6-year-old daughter when she lived primarily with her mother.

Last June, the daughter was placed in Holland's care all but six hours each week.

While he could use money to help pay off the $10,000 in attorneys' fees he owes from the custody battle, Holland doubts he'd succeed if he sought support from the mother.

"During the custody case no matter what Mom did, I was held to a higher bar," Holland said. "I don't care what people say. The system still treats women differently than men."

[mafree]

I know it's not equal yet guys but it's a start.

[cyborg]

This thread should be good. Wait and let me get my popcorn.

[Dick Grayson]

HA-Ha!

[randog]

Some mothers refuse or are unable to make the payments.

Hold on--let me get my violin....

[cavtrooper21]

Woohoo!!
(although the lady in first part of the article may be getting the fuzzy end of the lolli-pop.)

'bout damn time.

[mafree]

Put lots of butter (real butter) on my popcorn!

[ccmay]

I won't say this is a good thing.

I will say I'd like to see how NOW and the rest of the fembots respond to this.

Judging by their disgraceful record in the Clinton-Lewinsky fiasco, they will have no hesitation in taking a flagrantly hypocritical stance, and no shame in justifying it.

[FITZ]

Maybe both parents should be made equally responsible for everything --- child care, financial support, etc and if the either parent wants to trade more financial support in exchange for the other providing more child care it would work.

[conservative cat]

I feel for the first mom- she forgave him his debt and he turned around and went after her. It sounds like something my ex would pull on me if given the chance.

I've known a couple guys who were the primary caregivers and did awesome jobs- without getting a penny. In both their cases, they did make really good money, though.

I guess it's fair- there are the good and bad on both sides- but ouch for that poor first woman. What an SOB.

[bc2]

My dad had to pay child support to my mom even after she kicked me out and I lived with him 100% of the time. He worked his ass off and said he would rather pay her than fight it.

That was years ago now and I'm "all growed up" (heh). She's remarried so now he's even out of the allimony trap, too.

I was friends with a brother and sister whose parents were divorced. Their dad was rich and their mom was dirt poor. Despite having a couple of lawyers and partial custody of both kids she could never get money from the guy. She ended up being pretty broke and she drank herself crazy the last time I talked to them.

The system really does suck sometimes. God bless my old man for not letting it get the best of him...

[Brytani]

It's very possible, and the article does not make it clear, if he went after her for support or if it was court orders due to the switch in custody.

Now, if it was court ordered instead of by his request, he could be decent and forgive her the support payments.

[drhogan]

your father sounds like a real good guy.

[noutopia]

I got a divorce in 86 after 7 years of marriage and 2 kids.During the separation of 4 months my x-wife was busted for possession of pot and had 2 DUI's.Since I was career USAF she got the kids and most all our possessions.Oh yeah I proved 3 counts of adultery.If you are in the military and male you don't have a chance in hell to get the kids.I paid support till 2002.Wife was killed in 99 so payed my x-best friend for 3 years(her new hubby).Mine is not the only one where the male gets shafted.

[Brytani]

Oh, trust me I know. I've been in child support hell for the last 10 years with my DH. His ex has done everything in the world you could think of, plus some. Bad thing is, she gets more a month in child support, for 1 child, then I bring home in a month. She doesn't have to work, imagine that.

Search on posts from me, I'm 100% fathers rights and know all too well the crap that goes on in the court system.

[ladyinred]

What happened to you is just so unfair and disgusting! You have every right to be angry and bitter about it too. These women wanted equal rights, now they have them don't they?

In the first case above, the mom got the shaft, but for years it is the father who got the short end of the stick.

[Orlando]

There are many fathers that are rasing there childerns on their own, but still have to pay child support system.
I am one of them. Place: Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

The system in Milwaukee County is corrupt and evil.
In a nutshell

[brityank]

Ping.

[sauropod]

Have you seen this?

[sauropod]

"A single mother in Milwaukee who had spent years raising her son without the financial support of his father gasped when informed that she would be required to pay child support.

News of the order came soon after the woman had agreed to allow the father to care for the son Mondays through Fridays and had forgiven him the thousands of dollars he owed her in child support.

"Her response was, 'How can he do this to me?' " said Lisa Marks, deputy director of the Milwaukee County Department of Child Support Enforcement.

Sounds like this guy was a louse! I am sorry this woman had this happen to her.