Ground hog killing wife

Today | Me

[sparkomatic]

I'm at work, 50 miles from the home 20. The wife called and said, "Julie [my SIL] just called and there is a ground hog in the tree in her back yard. It may be sick or something."

I said well what do you want me to do about it? I ain't driving 100 miles round trip just to dispatch a ground hog that thinks it's a coon.

She said, "Well I think I can do it, but I need you to tell me how to open the safe. I need you to tell me which gun to use. I need you to tell me how to operate the gun. etc."

I talked her through opening the safe. Got it on the first try.

I contemplated having her use my 12 ga. coach model stoger but, I thought that might hurt her. Afterall, she's kind of scared of guns. I thought it would be best if she used the Ruger 10/22. Only problem is that she's just in the edge of a little town. I explained she'd want to point the gun in such a way as the stray bullets would zing out into the woods rather than into town. No, there's no "no firing guns" ordnance there. When I say small town, I mean it.

So she's digging through the safe trying to determine which gun is the 10/22. "Here's one that's black with brown wood and a camo sling."

No that's my slug gun.

Here's one in a case.

No, that's the coach gun.

Here's one that's black with wood and has carving on it.

No, that's the 270 Winchester.

Oh, here it is. It says Ruger on it. It's kind of little and has a scope on it.

Yep, that's it.

OK, what bullets do I use.

There should be some magazines laying on a shelf with bullets already in them.

Here's some. They are grey.

No, those are for the AR-15. You should see some little black cube shaped magazines with little bullets in them.

Oh, here's some little bitty bullets.

No, those are probably the 22 shorts.

Keith, I don't even know how to load this gun. I better call dad.

No, you can do this. Afterall, you were in the army.

Then it dawned on me. Michael has a Rossi matched pair on the top shelf. Shelley, grab Michaels gun. It's easy to use.

OK. I've got it.

Good. Put it together. Use the .22 barrell, not the .410 barrell. I talked her through assembling the rifle. She actually, began attaching the .410 barrel at first. That probably should have been the best choice, but it's actually got some good kick to it.

Then I talked her through how to use the gun.

She found some ammo that actually said .22LR on the box. Probably my box of CCI's.

She said, "OK, I'm going over there now. Wish me luck."

I had a meeting in the meantime. About an hour later I called back.

She said, "I did it." First shot was just behind the ear. Then I shot him again, that one knocked him out of the tree.

"Then," she says, "John Boy went over and hit him with a spoon to make sure he was dead."

I'm so proud of her.

[T Minus Four]

My first read of your title was that a ground hog was killing your wife.

Me too! :-)

Anyway, why would you want to kill a ground hog anyway ?

Yeah, I wonder that too.

[sparkomatic]

Lord, forgive me for I have sinned.

[StolarStorm]

It's hardly liberal to be opposed to killing simply for the fun of killing. If you're going to eat it, fine. Otherise, it's just plain evil.

[sparkomatic]

Do you eat cock roaches after you squish them?
Varmint shooting is a legitimate sport. Just thumb through a Cabela's catalog and look at all the varmint shooting supplies. I must not be the only one doing it.

[Rebelbase]

No, shooting it. :-)

[Ghengis]

You live in Morrow County, right? That is where my country abode resides.

[Spiff]

Target rich environment (Warning: After a few seconds of watching and listening to this link you will want to lock, load, and blast your monitor and speakers.)

[shhrubbery!]

Beautiful! Thanks for that. We actually do buy that cider but I'd forgotten about the logo. I sure will take a picture of Wilbur when we get our wormy apples this year.

[Huck]

Thanks. Say hi to Wilbur. fwiw, my wife named all the woodchucks "Chubby." We tried that cider too. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. I'll look forward to pictures sometime later in the year. FReegards.

[bvw]

Is a wife's rifle a "wifle"?

[Bon mots]

I hope you live in a very, very remote area. As you well know, a 22 can travel for a mile or so before it hits the ground somewhere. You have to always think, not just what you are shooting at, but where will that bullet stop!

In Connecticut some years ago, a young boy was out shooting squirrels with his .22 rifle. He missed the squirrel, but on the other side of town a guy was stepping off his porch with his family to light the grill. The bullets stopped in his heart. Two lives ruined.

The bullet was traced to the boy shooting squirrels, so he got to find out that he killed a man in front of his family at a backyard picnic.

Ask yourself, "Where is that bullet going to stop?"

[Bon mots]

Not to be too much of a harping spoil-sport, but another true story from Connecticut...


Some good ole boys caught a shark in Long Island Sound one fine summer day. When you get a shark up close to the boat, he's trying to bite everything... like a psycho wood-chipper. So they pulled out their AR-15 and plugged him. Unfortunately, the bullet went right through the shark at an oblique angle, and began to ricochet and skip off the surface of the water. Just as you can skip rocks off of the water's surface, bullets can skip for great distances if the angle is right. Anyway, this particular bullet stopped after going through the windshield of a woman motorist on I-95 and lodging itself in her shoulder.

I like shooting as much as the next guy, but always ask yourself, "Where will that bullet stop?"

Correct me if I'm wrong but a 30.06 can go as far as 5 miles I believe, and a .22 can go a mile.

[T Minus Four]

Why wouldn't we want to?

I didn't mean, "why kill a poor little cuddly cute groundhog (sob!)". I meant, why bother and waste a bullet? OK, I'll buy the fun factor, but then you have a dead groundhog ya gotta drag off into the woods.

[School of Rational Thought]

Some people just like to kill.