You Know You Are A Freeper When.....

April 13, 2004 | LadyShallott

[LadyShallott]

You Know You Are A Freeper When......

You have family members post for you because you have lost all sensation in your right hand from to much mouse usage.

You aren't sure what this "daylight" thing is, but you know you haven't seen it since 1998.

You seriously think about ramming the car in front of you when you see a liberal bumper sticker.

You spend your time finding pictures of John Kerry & morph him into a two-headed ketchup alien.

You try to figure out a way to write a program that would allow you to make love with your spouse and read the breaking news at the same time.

When you and your spouse get into an argument it comes out "Removed by Admin. Moderator".

You asked for a wireless connection at your baby shower. Who needs a baby monitor? Watching the baby and posting is just FR practicality.

You have picked out not only your child’s name, but their screen name for future use at Free Republic.

You told your spouse you were pregnant by listing it under “Breaking News”.

You have shunned the Atkins Diet and chosen to go on the “Freeper” diet: Coffee, smokes, and target practice.

You want to sit in a cage at a PETA rally while smoking, eating a hamburger, drinking coffee and hand out Free Republic coffee mugs.

And last but not least……..

You know you are a married to a Freeper when you can talk about anything going on in the world, you display the American Flag with pride, and you pray for the Troops defending this great country. Chance 33_98, I love ya!

[ReleaseTheHounds]

You know you're a FREEPER when the first thing you do when you get up is ask your wife: "What's happening? And she gives you all the top posts from the FREEP... and your Washington Post and Washington Times are set aside until after you've reviewed all the most important posts.

Thanks, JR! I've been with you since you made the leap from Prodigy's Whitewater Bulletin Board. It's been a blast.

[Libertina]

You hold on to BOTH monitors to protect them and start an after-quake report as soon as the house stops swaying. Ooops, I did that once... ;)

[Libertina]

ROTFLOL Not terminal - it just means you are bringing them up right! (Except sometimes your wife should have input as well ;)

[mlmr]

you watch the evening news and you suspect they are reading your FR threads as they finally reported a story you posted awhile back.

When you Freep, you know more than most, and have fun learning.

[No Fool]

You feel the need to shower every time some big news story breaks.

[No Fool]

Have it...pathetic, yes?

[chance33_98]

Not really, I have 600 megs of PDF's I want to read, and I prefer reading in bed. I do have a laptop, just not hooked up wireless yet. Then I can lay in the hammock sipping Mt Dew, smoking a cigar, and post away :)

[GretchenEE]

I can't read news on a regular news site because I can't post comments and everybody deserves my opinion.

Sympathetic grin.

When I click Drudge's links, sometimes I highlight and copy a part of the news article text and hit PAGE END to get the "Post Reply" link ... it's such a waste when I've already got my question or comment formed!

[GretchenEE]

when a weird-looking little woman with a scowl on her face walked up wearing a "Kerry '04" shirt. I looked at the woman quizzically and said, "Are you OK?"

[GretchenEE]

You watch the evening news only to discover you read about all the stories last week on FR, and you have a better grasp of the details than the news anchor does.

Bingo. And you wonder where the heck have the anchors BEEN on this story or that story?

[freemama]

You know you are a FReeper when you are sitting in the Aladdin hotel in Las Vegas checking the breaking news on Free Republic instead of putting more money into that blasted Wheel of Fortune slot machine!

(Hello from Vegas everyone! It was actually warmer in Wisconsin where I'm from than here today!)

[GretchenEE]

Sorry to hear about your accident. Glad you're around to joke about it.

[GretchenEE]

And what was the screen name of that troll?

[Allegra]

Ping me when you post about Iraq, please. :)

Will do!

Then you can see some of the people who are stateside that love to tell me how wrong I am about things and what it's really like here. LOL

[GretchenEE]

Sometimes I watch a bit of Letterman. I think it's funny that they're reduced to making fun of him tripping in order to make a joke about him. Actually that bit did make me laugh; they said that in light of all the mistakes he's made (showing video of him tripping or hitting his head on Marine One), his title would now be put in quotes, as in "President" Bush.

[GretchenEE]

Hiya lawgirl! Righty-o about leaving the Dud News Service and hitching a ride on over to FR where the REAL news is.

[GretchenEE]

I sure miss Mad Ivan. Too bad he got a job that stole his FReeping time.

[GretchenEE]

OOPS, I forgot to say that I was referring to President Bush here: "I think it's funny that they're reduced to making fun of him Bush tripping in order to make a joke about him."

[chance33_98]

You hold on to BOTH monitors to protect them and start an after-quake report as soon as the house stops swaying. Ooops, I did that once... ;)

I can see me Ohio posting a moment by moment account as a tornado approaches, with my only fear being the power going out, at which time I would grab the digital camera so I could update the thread later...

[Libertina]

LOL You know, my monitors sat on a hevy metal desk and it never once occurred to me to protect me ;) BTW WOWSERS on the idea of posting live digital storm updates! Way to go! :)