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To: mlmr
My children, homeschooled, revel at being able to dress up. I think it is important too, becasue it teaches them how to dress and be comfortable in business wear and more formal wear

Ironically, a compelling reasoning for homeschooling in my book is that (a) public schools are sewers, and (b) private schools often require itchy, scratchy uniforms!

Also... some people CAN'T be taught to "be comfortable" in "business wear", so-called. Many ADHD'ers and even more Asperger-types have an enhanced tactile sensitivity that makes so-called "nice" clothes, pure torture. Unforunately, I know this from personal experience, as I am one of them. I was constantly badgered and punished from childhood on the subject of wardrobe and to this day my 83 year old mother still thinks I was just being a "bad kid", or trying to "prove something" or make a "social statement" by refusing to wear "nice" clothes. Totally untrue; I simply couldn't endure them, physically.

As an adult, in church, I've encountered this occasionally, though fortunately I live on the West Coast where it's not as bad as some other places. For example, about 10 years ago, attending a small church, I was the target of a scornful comment by the young single woman who counted up the tithes (and who therefore knew exactly how much money I made): "You're the one guy in this church who could really afford to dress nice, and yet.... ". My answer was simple: "I have a different definition of 'Nice'".

To this day, whenever social circumstances absolutely force me to wear formal clothes (weddings, funerals, etc), I literally break out in sweat for several days in advance, dreading the awful moment when I have to put those horrible clothes on. Thank God that I managed to get a high-paying career doing something that doesn't require torturous dress-up. (When we have VIPs visiting the lab, we put on clean white lab coats, that's all.)

Okay, that was long winded. The short version is that some people find wearing most so-called "formal" clothing pure misery, and this isn't a condition they chose or could change. If dressing up to someone else's non-biblical aesthetic standards is the condition of attending church, a lot of these souls will be lost. (Why did I suddenly think of the Pharisees?)

206 posted on 04/11/2004 1:44:27 PM PDT by Rytwyng
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To: Rytwyng
Skimmed much of this thread but your post re: ADD/Asperger's really caught my eye. Just found out last year that my 14 yr. old son is PDD-NOS and somewhat ADD and I can't get him to dress up for anything. After reading your post, I understand a little better.
He prefers very loose clothing and bare feet, though he obviously has to wear shoes to school and church. :)

I got him new pants for today (though, not dress pants) but he looked like he usually does, very casual. He did pull out his Homer Simpson, "This I your Brain on Donuts" shirt and have the good sense to say, "I probably shouldn't wear this." LOL (I wouldn't have let him anyway).
247 posted on 04/11/2004 4:59:12 PM PDT by valleygal
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To: Rytwyng
The short version is that some people find wearing most so-called "formal" clothing pure misery, and this isn't a condition they chose or could change. If dressing up to someone else's non-biblical aesthetic standards is the condition of attending church, a lot of these souls will be lost.

Then the message gets lost in the misery. No sense in that, and I don't think that what it's all about.

I teach an autistic class, and I can't image why anyone would even want to try and get those boys out of their sweats. They'd be miserable and so would everyone around them.

264 posted on 04/11/2004 5:44:04 PM PDT by SCalGal
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To: Rytwyng
"some people CAN'T be taught to "be comfortable" in "business wear", so-called. Many ADHD'ers and even more Asperger-types have an enhanced tactile sensitivity that makes so-called "nice" clothes, pure torture."

I"ll vouch for the tactile sensitivity. I have two family members with ADHD. One is bothered terribly by shirt labels, to the extent that many of them need to be removed. He also can't tolerate most woolens, fabric softener, or the mesh inside of most swimsuits. The other family member always has his socks pulled well away from the ends of his toes. He can't stand to have his socks too tight around his toes. That one makes no sense to me, since the extra bulk must make his shoes tight, but it works for him.

Fortunately, both fellows dress up nicely and wear nice clothes well. We just make a few adjustments for comfort.

283 posted on 04/11/2004 8:05:38 PM PDT by Think free or die
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