Posted on 04/01/2004 10:37:24 PM PST by ClintonBeGone
Lautenschlager raises legal limit to .13 percent By OMC Staff Writers
Alcoholics, binge drinkers and drunk drivers are hailing today's decision by State Attorney General Peg Lautenschlager to raise the legal limit for driving to a nation-high .13 percent.
Lautenschlager, who made headlines this winter when she was pulled over for drunk driving with a blood alcohol content of .12 percent, said the hike was necessary to spur commerce at economically depressed local taverns.
"It's so hard to find a designated driver these days," said Lautenschlager, speaking at a press conference inside Jimmy's Corner Tap in Lodi. "No one wants to be that nerd who can't drink, and besides that .08 percent was utterly ridiculous."
"I can blow a .08 percent after just two shots of tequila and three Bloody Mary's," she added.
Lautenschlager, sipping on a white wine spritzer, said area bars have been feeling the pinch of strict drunk driving laws, and it's not fair that over-stressed businessmen, underage teenagers and other upright citizens should be penalized for enjoying a few adult beverages on their way home from work or to church.
"Let's not blow this out of proportion, people. I'm not suggesting that people who drink 12 Captain and Cokes in an hour should be allowed behind the wheel, but who will really suffer after a few Jaeger bombs or Jell-O shots at halftime? Not this attorney general."
As expected, Milwaukee bartenders are reacting to Lautenschlager's announcement with joy.
"It's so hard to cut off a paying customer," said Suzie Crzyklskwitz, a bartender at Skippy's Sports Pub in South Milwaukee. "I mean, when the softball team keeps buying pitcher after pitcher on a Monday night, who am I to tell them no? I figure, if they can stand or weave slowly, they can drive. Hey, I have to make a living, too."
Lautenschlager's decision, which retroactively releases her of all charges from her drunk driving arrest, was blasted by the U.S. Department of Transportation.
"It's not every day a state enacts a law that will actually kill people. It's appalling," said DOT spokesperson Bob Johnson.
As a result of the hike, Wisconsin will lose all federal highway funding, including monies earmarked for the rebuilding of the Marquette Interchange. That means taxpayers will foot the entire bill, an estimated $7,200 per resident.
But a surly and tipsy Lautenschlager defended the move vigorously. "You don't know me," she yelled, pointing her finger in the general direction of news cameras. "Hey, that guy's all right. Buy that guy a shot. What do you want, buddy? Whiskey? Me, too. Hey, gimme a kiss. I love you."
| Rank | Location | Receipts | Donors/Avg | Freepers/Avg | Monthlies | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 21 | Illinois | 70.00 |
2 |
35.00 |
|
|
338.00 |
20 |
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Hahahaha
The Dallas mayor decided to make it illegal for the homeless to use grocery carts after one of them got in her way on the road.... sounds like something politicians do.
spoof huh?
04/01/2004
It is a spoof based on fact. Lautenschlager (D-The Pub on State Street) was busted driving her state-owned car into the ditch at .12.
The same state-owned car she was using to commute daily 150miles from her home in Fondulac to the office in Madison without reimbursing the state for the miles.
Oh to be a democrat since you don't have to follow the rules.
(Corrupt WI AG) Lautenschlager To Reimburse State For Some Mileage
Huh? I'd like to see what the law was about. Illegal to *USE* shopping carts while shopping at the store? Because certainly, *STEALING* a shopping cart from the store and then pushing it around the city should already be covered by the criminal code.
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