After John Ichabod Kerry left the bar
He walked to a meeting
With the saturnine secret leaders of the DNC.
and where they concoct their toxic messages for the world.
Posted on 03/31/2004 9:27:36 PM PST by MNJohnnie
JOHN KERRY reminds you of someone, but you can't put your finger on it, right?
Allow me to help.
Bookish people and television people generally carry different archetypes around in their heads, but neither group seems to able to quite put their finger on Kerry. They have seen this face, this style before. But where?
First, the small box people. John Kerry is M*A*S*H's Major Frank Burns, returned to bluster and badger and arrogantly attempt to command his betters. To those below him, Burns was a constant pain. To those above, he was obsequious in the extreme. Towards his tentmates--whom he could not believe were his equals--he was always condescending, the perfect combination of insecurity and inflated self-esteem.
Some might argue that Major Charles Emerson Winchester III is really a better match for Kerry, especially given Winchester's ponderous accent and attention to breeding.
But it's really Burns who captures the essence of the Kerry style, so recently displayed when, following his collision with a Secret Service agent charged with protecting his life, Kerry came up cursing the agent. We lack the information to make any comparisons between Theresa and Major Margaret "Hotlips" Houlihan, but both at least share a tendency toward outspokenness.
FOR THE LITERARY MINDED, the match is more obscure, but just as compelling. It requires a reach all the way back to the papers of Diedrich Knickerbocker, as arranged by Washington Irving, specifically to the character Ichabod Crane, who was "tall, but exceedingly lank, with narrow shoulders, long arms and legs, hands that dangled a mile out of his sleeves, feet that might have served as shovels, and his whole frame most loosely hung together." Ichabod's voice--"the authoritative voice of the master, in the tone of menace or of command; or peradventure, by the appalling sound of the birch, as he urged some tardy loiterer along the flowery path of knowledge." Ichabod was quick to deal out punishment to his school charges, always accompanied by a lecture.
Ichabod was "a huge feeder," possessed of the "dilating powers of an anaconda." We don't know about John Kerry's appetite, but this makes for a good guess. And there is the vanity parallel: "It was a matter of no little vanity to [Ichabod], on Sundays, to take his station in front of the church gallery, with a band of chosen singers; where, in his own mind, he completely carried away the psalm from the parson. Certain it is, his voice resounded far above all the rest of the congregation. . . ." Recall that Kerry's been in front of both Catholics and a largely African-American congregation these past three weeks, cameras in tow.
"[Ichabod] was in fact," Irving tells us, "an odd mixture of small shrewdness and simple credulity." Which brings to mind Kerry's approach to many subjects, from the September 11 Commission hearings to gas prices to the $87 billion for Iraq, which he famously voted both for and against.
Ichabod and Kerry can both own being skittish, enamored of an heiress, and bedeviled by a rival. Ichabod's was Brom Bones, "famed for great knowledge and skill in horsemanship, being as dexterous on horseback as a Tartar. He was foremost at all races and cock-fights; and, with the ascendancy which bodily strength acquires in rustic life, was the umpire in all disputes, setting his hat on one side, and giving his decisions with an air and tome admitting of no gainsay or appeal. He was always willing for a fight or a frolic; but had more mischief than ill-will in his composition; and with all his over-bearing roughness, there was a strong dash of waggish good humor at bottom." Who does that remind you of?
Which is your favorite? And do you read Thirkell also?
(I'll put in a vote for the Hunting Sketches, but only because I hunt.)
After John Ichabod Kerry left the bar
He walked to a meeting
With the saturnine secret leaders of the DNC.
and where they concoct their toxic messages for the world.
Some might argue that Major Charles Emerson Winchester III is really a better match for Kerry, especially given Winchester's ponderous accent and attention to breeding...From davidogdenstiers.com:
I take it from your screen name you're a Trollope fan? Which is your favorite? And do you read Thirkell also? (I'll put in a vote for the Hunting Sketches, but only because I hunt.)
NEWS FLASH TO FREEPERS:From www.hughhewitt.com:
Hugh Hewitt's blog has mentioned Free Republic and this thread in his blog this morning on his website...
April 1, 2004Posted at 5:00 AM, Pacific
Doesn't John Kerry remind you of...? My answer is at WeeklyStandard.com.
The folks at FreeRepublic.com have a fine thread up on the subject, with some grand pictures.
"And she named the child Ichabod, saying, The glory is departed from Israel: because the ark of God was taken, and because of her father in law and her husband."
Apparently the name itself means "No Glory."
Is that a "Lucky Charms" little green man, or "Finian's Rainbow"?
I can think of no single literary comparisons for Kerry from my own experiences. I might manifest him via a morbid assemblage of James Taggart (Atlas Shrugged) the arrogant zero who feeds on the world's bounty while destroying same; Feyd-Rautha (Dune) Sly malicious royalty directed by a singular ambitious tendancy toward malfeasance; and Magwa (Last of the Mohicans) a savage so consumed with self-loathing and hatred that he is willing to destroy nations to satisfy it's dark lust. Tie this together with Shelley's, Frankenstein... a creature assembled by arrogant tinkerers in the image of a man, yet lacking the moral precepts that govern rational existence, stumbling through the confusion of an unbound life directed by whim, desire, and force.
Atos
Looked just like a leprechaun to me. Although I guess one of the little people wouldn't be so snooty.
Another good one. Looks more like Wolfert Webber to me though.
First, the small box people. John Kerry is M*A*S*H's Major Frank Burns, returned to bluster and badger and arrogantly attempt to command his betters. To those below him, Burns was a constant pain. To those above, he was obsequious in the extreme. Towards his tentmates--whom he could not believe were his equals--he was always condescending, the perfect combination of insecurity and inflated self-esteem...From CNN.com:
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