NEW YORK (ABS) March 26--In response to demands by GLADRAP (Gay-Lesbian-Anarcho-Democrats Railing Against Parents), ABS will add DC Dick Clarkbar as the older man in the hit series Will & Won't--Don't Kerry If I Do.
Pilot plots will center on the new actor's uncanny ability to say one thing behind closed doors, then lie about it in front of the cameras.
"We're not concerned about truth, justice, and the American Way here, folks," said ABS director of crimes against nature, Barney Fig.
"After all, if you're normal, you're not our demo."