LINING UP TO GET MARRIED IN SAN FRNACISCO

CHRONWATCH.COM ^

[RUCKUS INC.]

At City Hall in San Francisco:

''Next.''

''Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.''

''Names?''

''Tim and Jim Jones.''

''Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance.''

''Yes, we're brothers.''

''Brothers? You can't get married.''

''Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same-gender couples?''

''Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest.''

''Incest? No, we're not gay.''

''Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?''

''For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects.''

''But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you're not gay, you can get married to women.''

''Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.''

''And I want to marry Tim. Are you going to discriminate against us because we're not gay?''

''All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next.''

''Hi. We're here to get married.''

''Names?''

''John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green and June Johnson.''

''Who wants to marry whom?''

''We all want to marry each other.''

''But there are four of you.''

''That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.''

''But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.''

''So you're discriminating against bisexuals!''

''No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples.''

[RUCKUS INC.]

Can't disagree with the logic!

[FormerLib]

I can't believe they left out the part about Homer coming in with his huntin' dawgs.

Must have been some sort of intolerant hate-monkey that wrote this! Discriminating against inter-species unions!

[jojodamofo]

He who lives the life of a criminal wants to avoid being seen as one. His dark behavior forces him to wear the mask of the ordinary man, the mask of the harmless.

The course of recent history makes it clear that the homosexuals have succeeded in hiding the great danger of homosexuality. The homosexuals are masters at deflecting suspicion. The Christian command of brotherly love, which demands that its adherents love even their enemies, always caused rising hatred against the homosexuals to fade into suicidal toleration.

The Twenty First Century has the task of saving the American peoples from taking the last step into a moral abyss. Under the leadership of the Republican Party and the Christian Church, we will triumph over the homosexual deceivers.

[Agnes Heep]

Good news for mobsters and criminal conspirators: they can simply get married and avoid having to give testimony against each other.

[Chewbacca]

I think I will stay single. Getting married is just so 'gay'.

[RUCKUS INC.]

HA! That's hilarious!

[Sphinx1899]

I give it five years and any person will be able to marry their pet. What is this country coming to?