Alas, I fell into the feminist trap and worked when my kids were little. Traveling between offices I listened to Dr. Laura. Luckily her words "Mom's should stay home with their babies" hit me like a two by four and and I quite a 6 figure career to raise my children .
A few weeks later I was surrounded by my oldest's (he was in kindergarten at the time) teachers. They were amazed at the changes in my son and wanted to know why this was happening. His confidence and level of interaction in school did a complete 180 degrees as well as the lives of the whole family. Life became a hoot again.
I actually think it's taken a few years for him to really forgive me for what I did to him. I think on my death bed my only regret (if I don't screw up til then!) is that I didn't raise my kids from day one.
I can't say that they did 180-degree turns, but they clearly did better with me home more. They're both doing well in school, they're in the top math groupings and in the academic enrichment program. Our older son has ADHD, but he's a wonderful student and his teachers love him. Without a lot of structure and "a mean mom and dad" I think he'd be in worse shape. My husband and I are both deeply involved in volunteer work with the school and scouts, so we have some influence on their larger environment and know their classmates, friends, and school staff very well. We're not perfect parents, and there's no telling what damage was done by their early day care experience. Our older son is sometimes quite a handful, moody and lacking in social skills. Perhaps it's just his inherent personality. I always worry that I made life harder for him by not being there enough when he was little. I do my best to encourage young moms and dads to follow their hearts and tend to their own babies.
It seems to me that the pendulum is swinging back on this issue, at least a little bit. I sure hope so. Kids deserve better, and so do their parents.