Bush: Foreign Leaders Want Me to Fix Kerry's Wagon

ScrappleFace ^ | 03/16/2004 | Scott Ott

[Constitutionalist Conservative]

(2004-03-16) -- In the wake of claims by Democrat presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry that foreign leaders hope he wins the White House, President George Bush today said "unnamed foreign leaders told me they want me to clean Kerry's clock, you know, to fix his wagon."

"They can't go out and say this publicly," Mr. Bush said, "but boy they look at you and say, 'You've got to pummel this wishy-washy appeaser. You've got to spank him with the buckle end of the belt'. Of course, I can't tell you who said that, but them foreigners want me to put a hurt on him."

Mr. Bush, like Mr. Kerry, spends hours every day chatting with foreign leaders to find out what kind of American foreign policy will be most popular with them. And while Mr. Kerry speaks fluent French thanks to childhood summers spent at a family estate in Brittany, Mr. Bush speaks Spanish and Pig Latin, which he calls "the new Esperanto...the global language of diplomacy."

"You wouldn't believe some of things my foreign buddies have told me about Enator-say Erry-kay," said Mr. Bush. "It's all on the Q.T., of course."

[cajungirl]

Hilarious,,I love the spank him with the buckle end of the belt!

[hope]

Enator say, Erry Kay, uks ay....ig bay, im tay...

[MJY1288]

LOL, I would go a bit further and suggest president Bush to say: "Foreign Leaders have told me in private that John Kerry likes to dress up as a woman and offer his services for their endorsements, But I can't give the names of these Foreign leaders, because I promised to keep their remarks confidential, Oh! and one other thing, France is about to release a new commemorative Coin for their fellow Countryman John Kerry, It's their first oval shaped Coin, They had to Mint it in an oval shape to accommodate John Kerry's long face"

[mrs tiggywinkle]

You've GOT to read this article! We have a President with an amazing sense of humor! ROFLOL

[Steven W.]

Mr. Bush, like Mr. Kerry, spends hours every day chatting with foreign leaders to find out what kind of American foreign policy will be most popular with them.

This is hilarious!

[TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig]

I think they should spank him with a hotwheels racetrack section. Used to be the preferred method for my neighbor's parents to whip his ass.

[headsonpikes]

Uh....check the source mrs., it's a satire - not actually real.

[Mo1]

Foreign Leaders have told me in private that John Kerry likes to dress up as a woman and offer his services for their endorsements,

Was that necessary ?!?!?!?

Now I have to wash my brain of that thought ... how gross *L*

[MJY1288]

Absolutely necessary :-)

[Jabba the Nutt]

Hope, you obviously have what it takes to be a diplomat. Immediately start studying for the Foreign Service Exam next February or take the quick one-step method into diplomacy, give the Bush Campaign a million bucks and become Ambassador to Belize. ;^)

[MJY1288]

LOL, Remember now that two can play at the lies game, If Kerry is going to use quotes from phantom leaders, George W. might as well use some of his own :-)

[Mo1]

All I have to say is ... Kerry would make one butt ugly women .. LOL

[Brad’s Gramma]

Kerry IS a butt ugly woman!

[Mo1]

Oh Geez .. I'm still laughing at the thought *L*

[hope]

Anything for my president...But, please, Belize?

[MJY1288]

John Kerry reminds me of that puppet "Ollie" on "Kukla Fran an Ollie" that had only one tooth

[Brad’s Gramma]

that had only one tooth

That many, huh?

[Brad’s Gramma]

I KNOW!!!!



John Kerry! The first Transvestite President!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[JTG]

This is a joke right? I know I'm too gullible, but I always have to confirm. I've never heard of this site. :~)