The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel

The Morning News ^ | March 2, 2004 | Paul Ford

[CJ Wolf]

(Translated from Aramaic and Latin)

Pontius Pilate (Hristo Shopov) stands with the scourged and thorn-crowned Jesus (James Caviezel) before a throng of Jews, all of whom shout for Christ's crucifixion. Pilate has a bowl of water brought to him so he can wash his hands' of Christ's condemnation.

Assorted Jews: Crucify him!

Pontius Pilate: I am innocent of the blood of this just; [knocks over bowl of water, which spills down steps] oh, [bleep].

Jesus Christ: [smiling] Good one, Hristo.

Pilate: Nice crown, Jim.

Assorted Jews: [laughter]

Off Camera: Cut!


* * *

Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.

Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]

[Cell phone rings.]

Jesus: [hands shake furiously]

[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]

Roman soldier: Jim? That you?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Cell phone rings.]

Soldier: Want me to get it?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]

Off Camera: [laughter]

Jesus: Hey, Mom.


* * *

The Last Supper. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. Judas (Luca Lionello) is seated nearby.

Jesus: If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world ah, Christ.

Judas: Hateth you.

Jesus: Who's on first, right?

Judas: [laughs]

Jesus: [rolls eyes at camera] John could write gospel, but, you know, could he write dialogue?

Off Camera: [laughter] Cut!


* * *

Jesus carries a heavy wooden cross through Jerusalem, assisted by Simon (Jarreth Merz).

Jesus: Wait a second. [puts down cross]

Off Camera: What is it?

Jesus: [wipes right eye] There's something in my eye.

Simon: Oh my God, it's a mote.

Off Camera: [laughter]


* * *

Jesus hangs on the cross, bloodied, in agony.

Take 3

Jesus: My God, my God, why hast thou; [laughing]

Off Camera: [laughter] Forsaken!


Take 4

Jesus: Thanks! Okay. My God, my God, why hast thou[starts giggling]

Off Camera: [laughter]


Take 10

Jesus: I got it. I got it. Hold on. My God, my God, why hast thou argh! [takes breath] Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Sabachthani, sabachthani, sabachthani. Okay.


Take 12

Jesus: Hey! I can see my house from here.


Take 14

Jesus: My God! Why have you...

[Caviezel is struck by lightning.]

Off Camera: Cut!


Take 35

Off Camera: Come on, Jim.

Jesus: [in terrible anguish] My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Off Camera: [Applause]

Off Camera: We got it!




Paul Ford lives in Brooklyn. He writes Ftrain.

[Docbarleypop]

On Gladiator, one of the lesser characters answered his cell in the middle of shooting, and on a couple of other movies its happened, so why not this one? I accidently took my cell phone onto a rugby pitch and i leave it in my bathrobe all the time.

[rattrap]

The author made it all up.

From the original article: No film set exists without its share of gags and accidents, even the filming of Mel Gibson’s crucifixion epic. Interloper Paul Ford got a transcript of scenes that may never make it onto the DVD edition.

[Bella_Bru]

LOL!

[Bluntpoint]

Bring it on, Mr. Bird! Bring it on!

[k2blader]

I heard Caviezel's call-in to Rush's show but must've missed the part about it actually happening on the cross.

What I was thinking was contrived was how the author of this piece directly connects the struck-by-lightening incident (which supposedly happened after take #14) to a take which happens several takes later (#35).

[AmishDude]

Did you look at my links to the other articles he wrote, including the one where he INTERVIEWED A DOLPHIN.

[LS]

Good one. My Savior is a happy Man with the best sense of humor in the universe!

[gcruse]

I guess I am going to hell, because I can't stop laughing about the mote.

I can't get past the part where, if this really happened, it's funny.
But if someone wrote this, it's not.

I think the situationally-offended freepers are buying into post-modernism without, I hope, knowing it.

" As Entman (1993) notes, the major task of determining textual meaning cannot be accomplished by simply adding up messages without understanding the clusters of salient messages which constitute the broader frames."

[WritableSpace]

Is it just me, or do I find something wrong in outakes for a foreign language film to be in, oddly enough, "English."

[time4good]

Thanks Spiff for making the obvious point. We know that Satan is purposed to do this - mock to de-emphasize the effect.

The spiritual experience the truth in the movie speaks of and demonstrates is REAL. In a non-spiritual way, can anyone here get an Andy-Rooney laugh if their wife/mother/daughter/son were raped and beaten to death and someone played an outtake reel of the made-for-TV movie actors laughing during the rape scene?

Real yuck yuck - huh? It's so disrespectful it's stupid.

[AmishDude]

Lead actors generally do not dress themselves on a set. That's for the wardrobe folks.

[WritableSpace]

Why are these outakes in english?

[Bluntpoint]

Found at beginning of article:

(Translated from Aramaic and Latin)

I tend to think the whole thing is made up...but still funny!

[Eaker]

I just sent tha following E-mail to Paul Ford.

ford@ftrain.com

Let's see what he says.

Paul,

Your article has created quite a stir on FreeRepublic.com.

Here is the link.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1089853/posts?q=1&&page=1

Please let me know if this is satire or real outtakes and if real, where did you get them.

Thanks,
Tom Eaker

Pseudonym on FreeRepublic: Eaker

[AFPhys]

[on Limbaugh, after lightening]..."Jim looked up to the Heavens and said "Didn't like that take, huh?"

I heard that! That was a great comment!

Please, everyone: this was a MOVIE. It is a wonderful meditation and great Christian art which will endure. It is not sacrilege to maintain that these ACTORS and ACTRESSES may actually have had some pleasure while doing this film! Jim's (and others) going to Mass every day does not make it impossible for them to have fun!

Of course, I suspect that the times that Jim was actually contacted by during the scourging was NOT very funny - and I would love to see those outtakes, too... but those will not endure.

BTW: I don't recommend such a cavalier attitude toward The Book, though chuckling in some parts is clearly in order.

This all being said, I'd like to repeat thackney's comment: "I am sorry if I offended you; but there is a big difference about joking in the making of a movie, and joking about God. - Peace."

[johnb838]

ribald

???

Doesn't that mean Racy? There was nothing sexual in the whole article. Put me down in the group that thinks this was good clean fun and that it's a good thing to not be too traumatized by this movie.

[WritableSpace]

I see... Well funny as it is, I would prefer the author used the actors names instead of "Jesus." But I guess that would take some of the intended humor out of it.

[johnb838]

"I can see my house from here"

This is the punch line to an Old, old joke that I remember hearing circa 1980.

[Eaker]

-----Original Message-----
From: Paul Ford [mailto:ford@ftrain.com]
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 12:23 PM
To: Tom Eaker
Subject: Re: The Passion "Blooper Reel" Question

It's most definitely satire!

p

[Bluntpoint]

Dear Tom,

Mel sent me these sandals with the outtakes:

your buddy,

Paul