The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel

The Morning News ^ | March 2, 2004 | Paul Ford

[CJ Wolf]

(Translated from Aramaic and Latin)

Pontius Pilate (Hristo Shopov) stands with the scourged and thorn-crowned Jesus (James Caviezel) before a throng of Jews, all of whom shout for Christ's crucifixion. Pilate has a bowl of water brought to him so he can wash his hands' of Christ's condemnation.

Assorted Jews: Crucify him!

Pontius Pilate: I am innocent of the blood of this just; [knocks over bowl of water, which spills down steps] oh, [bleep].

Jesus Christ: [smiling] Good one, Hristo.

Pilate: Nice crown, Jim.

Assorted Jews: [laughter]

Off Camera: Cut!


* * *

Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.

Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]

[Cell phone rings.]

Jesus: [hands shake furiously]

[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]

Roman soldier: Jim? That you?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Cell phone rings.]

Soldier: Want me to get it?

Jesus: Yeah.

[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]

Off Camera: [laughter]

Jesus: Hey, Mom.


* * *

The Last Supper. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. Judas (Luca Lionello) is seated nearby.

Jesus: If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world ah, Christ.

Judas: Hateth you.

Jesus: Who's on first, right?

Judas: [laughs]

Jesus: [rolls eyes at camera] John could write gospel, but, you know, could he write dialogue?

Off Camera: [laughter] Cut!


* * *

Jesus carries a heavy wooden cross through Jerusalem, assisted by Simon (Jarreth Merz).

Jesus: Wait a second. [puts down cross]

Off Camera: What is it?

Jesus: [wipes right eye] There's something in my eye.

Simon: Oh my God, it's a mote.

Off Camera: [laughter]


* * *

Jesus hangs on the cross, bloodied, in agony.

Take 3

Jesus: My God, my God, why hast thou; [laughing]

Off Camera: [laughter] Forsaken!


Take 4

Jesus: Thanks! Okay. My God, my God, why hast thou[starts giggling]

Off Camera: [laughter]


Take 10

Jesus: I got it. I got it. Hold on. My God, my God, why hast thou argh! [takes breath] Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Sabachthani, sabachthani, sabachthani. Okay.


Take 12

Jesus: Hey! I can see my house from here.


Take 14

Jesus: My God! Why have you...

[Caviezel is struck by lightning.]

Off Camera: Cut!


Take 35

Off Camera: Come on, Jim.

Jesus: [in terrible anguish] My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Off Camera: [Applause]

Off Camera: We got it!




Paul Ford lives in Brooklyn. He writes Ftrain.

[Sam Cree]

I'll not argue with you guys, as you are both likely right.

However, is not the film very faithful to Scripture? In which case it could be said to be repeating the word of God?

That would make it something more than the word of man.

[k2blader]

Did these outtakes really happen?

I'm thinking no, because that'd mean Caviezel took the Lord's name in vain.

Also, While Caviezel did get struck by lightning, connecting that incident to the crucifixion scene seems totally contrived.

So if this is all made up it's not really funny.

[Bluntpoint]

This cast was a bunch of practical jokers!

[Spiff]

These outtakes, though, point to the faultiness of humanity, without denigrating the One being portrayed or His story. I honestly don't see these outtakes (if they're real) as necessarily "bad."

These are fake. They were invented to mock the film - not the subject of the film, but the film itself.

Evil could not dissuade Mel Gibson from making the film. Evil could not get theaters to refuse the film or to stop the initial wave of viewers from attending. Evil now wants to mock the film to dissuade further viewing, to embarass those who see it, and to trivialize any sort of spiritual experience someone may have as a result of seeing the film.

I know that it is just a movie. But it is a good movie made by a good director that tells a good story with a good message that will have a good impact upon good people. Evil just can't resist...

[Charles Martel]

[Mark in the Old South]

I guess all the lame jokes I have heard from pulpits over the years were way over the line. Remember these jokes were from men of the cloth and during a religious service. Of course Hollywood actors on a movie set are expected to set the standard for priest and ministers, Right?

[thackney]

However, is not the film very faithful to Scripture? In which case it could be said to be repeating the word of God?

I don't mean to argue either. I haven't seen the movie yet (but will soon), from what I read it is very factual in following the Scripture.

But jokes about troubles I had trying to memorize scripture, is not the same as jokes about scripture. Just as joke about making a movie, are not the same as jokes about the subject matter. The first is humor about the limitations of man, the second is the word of God. I see assigning reverence to film as walking a fine line to a sin. I am trying to caution people from doing that.

Peace be with you. -todd

[Bluntpoint]

Jesus did not have a sense of humor and he did not coach little league!

[hellinahandcart]

I guess I am going to hell, because I can't stop laughing about the mote.

[baltodog]

Let's joke about Schindler's list, and the crippled and retarded kids, and then all races after this one.

[ahayes]

Interesting! Bump to remind me to read this later.

[Mark in the Old South]

Did so... how else do you explain all the straight men.

[Bluntpoint]

Mote!!!!!!!!

[Bluntpoint]

I pictured Christ as a "playa" on the court of life.

[Theo]

Let's joke about Schindler's list, and the crippled and retarded kids, and then all races after this one

"Slippery Slope" fallacy. There's a difference between actors on the set of a (good) movie, and children who are going through difficult times.

[Bella_Bru]

Would you think a similar treatment of "Schindlers List" funny?

Yes, actually. All films have bloopers, all films have lighthearted moments during filming. Why? Because HUMAN BEINGS make them. Not every moment on a set is spent in serious contemplation of one's role or the subject matter. If that were the case, most films would be dull, as the actors would have no personalities whatsoever.

[Wyatt's Torch]

Reminds me, Larry Bird once said, "I get so hot sometimes I don't think Jesus Christ could guard me." Must've ticked off a lot of Catholics in Boston with that one...

[commish]

Also, While Caviezel did get struck by lightning, connecting that incident to the crucifixion scene seems totally contrived.

NO, Caviezel did get struck while he was on the cross. He described the incident in his interview with Rush, and also in the special "The Making of the Passion of the Christ".

He said that after he regained his senses, he looked up and said "Didn't like that take, eh!". He also said that afterward he looked like he had just returned from Don kings hairdresser.

Apparently, one of the production people was also struck by lightning during filming of the Garden scene, and that has been attributed to having struck Caviezel also, but he has said at that time that it hit next to the Production guy, and that while he was close by it was not near him.

[Bluntpoint]

Bill Gates is suing Gibson for copyright infringement.

[Mark in the Old South]

Boston Catholics offended? You mean like Ted Kennedy? I doubt Novos Ordo Catholics like him would have noticed the remark let alone be offended. Poor use of the Holy Name is not funny, "I can see my house from here" is funny.