Oregon Senator (Smith) Grieves Over Son's Suicide

guardian.co.uk ^ | 03/02/04 | AP

[KQQL]

WASHINGTON (AP) - Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith's 21-year-old son, Garrett, killed himself last fall at his college apartment. ``For me time stopped,'' Smith said. ``My public career seemed vain, my hopes and dreams in ashes. I felt I had failed at my most important duty, as a father.''

Despite their pain, Smith and his wife, Sharon, spoke out Tuesday about their son's life and death, saying it was important to raise awareness of youth suicide and mental illness.

``It's been six months, and it's time to find more meaning and help others who suffered like he did,'' Gordon Smith said after speaking in favor of a bill on suicide prevention.

[KQQL]

He's got a point. How did suicide prevention become a duty of the federal government?

He could have shown some compassion too....before blasting the senator.. ---

[hoosierham]

Sorry, the senator DESERVES blasting if his reaction to every problem is the creation of yet another gov't agency.

We are ALL going to die sometime,maybe of old age,maybe of illness,maybe in a wreck. It is the DUTY of people to look after their own ,not demand someone else shoulder the burdens of life.

[Wolfstar]

So he uses his son's death as yet another opportunity to spend taxpayers' money. How cold.

I don't know if you've ever suffered through the death of someone you love very, very deeply. By your comment, I'd guess not. But let me tell you, as one who knows such loss intimately, that one of the manifestations of grief is a need to memorialize the loved one who died. Typically, the type of memorial is based on the type of death. Legislation is not an uncommon form of memorial if the death was of a nature — cancer, murder, terrorism, kidnapping, etc. — so as to affect society at large.

The Smiths are not using their son's death, they are memorializing him through a piece of legislation they believe may prevent other young people from going down the same dark road. It's their way of both giving his life meaning and giving their son a legacy.

If you are incapable of both understanding and sympathizing with what they are doing, you are a very empty individual, indeed. (Notice I didn't say agree with, merely understand and sypathize with...)

[Wolfstar]

Not meaning to be hurtful, but did you have the impulse to memorialize your son in some way other than just putting a marker on his grave? There are probably as many ways this aspect of grief manifests itself as there are indiviudals on the planet. A bit of hair in a locket. A sizeable contribution to charity or a church. A small shrine at home. Wearing symbolic jewelry. An inability to dispose of the deceased's personal items. Naming a new baby for the lost loved one. Or, if one is in a position to do so, getting legislation passed to try to help minimize, if not prevent, other horrors from happening again. A couple of recent examples are Meagan's Law and the Amber Alert system. As I said, it isn't using the death, it's giving the lost life meaning — something that seems especially important when it was a young life cut short.

[AuntB]

I missed hearing about this when it happened, but then I'm not in Oregon any longer....sigh. I've gone head to head with Gordon Smith...literally, and we've had some mighty disagreements, but I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

[billorites]

"I don't know how I missed this when it happened."

I never heard about it until today.

Maybe I'm out of touch, but I doubt it.

[ValerieUSA]

You are so wrong.
He needs to memorialize his son as a father - not as a Senator.

[Lizavetta]

How did suicide prevention become a duty of the federal government?

Not only that, but how does anyone think the government can or should do anything that is clearly the domain of the family? Condolences for the family of course, but I'd rather see a 'memorial' in the form of a privately funded foundation or something similar than yet one more government program that will be as ineffective and overpriced as all the other govt. programs we rail about here.

[Wolfstar]

He and his wife ARE memorializing their son as parents. The need to memorialize a someone very dear who has passed is one of the most common grief responses. As I said in #24, there are probably as many ways this grief response manifests itself as there are people on the planet. If the cause of death was something that affects society at large, such as murder, kidnapping, terrorism, teenage suicide, drunk driving, etc., legislation to try to help minimize, if not prevent, such occurrences from happing to others is a common form of memorializing a deceased loved one.

[Clintonfatigued]

What a terrible loss Sen. Smith has suffered. I hope he and his wife are able to work their way through this tragedy.

[blackie]

Hi AuntB ~ it's the fist time I've heard about it, too.

It was the kid's choice to snuff himself ~ he is in God's hands, now.

[Wolfstar]

By the way, I am neither agreeing nor disagreeing with Sen. and Mrs. Smith's choice of legislation as a memorial to their son. I am merely explaining it. Memorializing the dead is as old as humanity, itself. It is one of the traits that marks us as human beings.

[DameAutour]

Thank you for this post. My condolences to this family.

I have suffered with bipolar disorder for years and I've been where this poor young man went. I survived my attempt, but I have several close relatives who did not. I certainly understand what this legislator is doing and why he is doing it.

That said, I don't really think there is much the federal government could have done. This seems like the type of program that will have to be cut/defunded in a few years and then that would seem heartless. OTOH, I do think increased awareness of mental health issues should be under the purview of the federal government, i.e. the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. There is no easy answer.

[George W. Bush]

edwords: So he uses his son's death as yet another opportunity to spend taxpayers' money. How cold.

KQQL: You are the one who is cold.........where is your compassion ...?

I wonder if Senator Gordon will sponsor a memorial to the Gulf War vets? It seems to me that there were many other young people who died in the two conflicts whose deaths were as senseless and grievous to their families as Gordon's own loss was to him.

And Gordon's son obviously wanted to die. Our dead veterans didn't want to die. And our vets died for our country and under federal authority while discharging their duty.

So, KQQL, where exactly is Gordon's compassion anyway?

I think that Gordon's own remarks indicate that he never really took the time to intervene with the troubled son, that his career and other interests took priority. Now he's paid the emotional price for his negligence and wants the rest of us to pay a much larger price for his negligence. All to assuage his own guilt.

[tcuoohjohn]

Three things I know about Edwords.

1. He doesn't have any children

2. He is devoid of any sense of compassion.

3. His most intimate relationship is with his wallet.

[FormerACLUmember]

Getting treatment for psychotically depressed young people is impossible. The disgusting lawyer industry has sued meaningful hospital care out of existence.

Psychiatrists and other mental health professionals cannot treat these kids. I will bet my bottom dollar that this family made every effort to help this boy, without any success. My condolences to the family.

[George W. Bush]

I have no problem with your comment, and I lost a son 18 months ago. It's a calamity -- the worst thing in the world. Still, I would expect to be held accountable for any "cause" I misused his death to support.

Brit Hume lost a son too, 3-4 years back. When he came back on the air, he used a segment to talk a bit about it. It was very touching.

But Hume didn't start advocating the creation of memorial legislation. I wonder if he'll have a segment on Gordon's legislation.

[Wolfstar]

Thank you for YOUR response. I hope and pray that you continue winning your fight against this terrible disorder. I also appreciate the fact that you understand I was merely appealing for the harsh critics on this thread to understand what Sen. and Mrs. Smith are doing and why. I also am skeptical of such legislation, but one can vigorously disagree with it and still understand the very human impulse to memorialize.

[ValerieUSA]

I suppose you think you are so superior with this lovely display of your compassion.
Compassion is a piss poor reason to legislate.

[Wolfstar]

You have absolutely no way of knowing what Mr. Hume did to memorialize his son, but I guarantee you he did do something. To repeat, there are probably as many ways this particular response to grief manifests itself as there are people on the planet.

For people who are always bleating about Judeo-Christian values, and conservative principles, and such, I swear some of the harshest, meanest, most mindless commentary I've ever read can be found right here on this conservative forum!