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Just damn.
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http://www.brokennewz.com/usnews/lowellalert.asp
Bush Drops Terrorist Alert via advice of Christopher Lowell; "Orange is an Autumn"
5/21/2003 - Steve Tanner
Washington DC - Responding to the horde of criticism by the fashion and design industry, President Bush has lowered the Orange terrorist level back to a more soothing and spring like alert. "What was that man thinking? Orange at this time of year, I almost vomited in my espresso" lisped Lowell.
Lowell expressed his concerns for U.S. safety, but told reporters that the fear of terrorists entering an "operational period worldwide" sounds more like angry housewives on a shopping spree. "Give the al Qaeda a Visa card, a Pamprin and send them to Pier One. They will be just fine"
When asked if Mr. Lowell would be seeking a permanent position with the Bush staff, Lowell told us "Only if I can be Oversecretary to Undersecretary of Homeland Security Asa Hutchinson."
Hutchinson was too disturbed for comment.