Posted on 02/15/2004 10:16:05 AM PST by PJ-Comix
THEY could be the most unlikely couple ever to take up residence at the White House.
If John Kerry wins the Democratic nomination and ousts George Bush in the November presidential elections, prepare for fireworks...not from Kerry himself, but from his missus.
Teresa Heinz Kerry is set to become the most colourful and controversial First Lady in American history.
While the height of excitement for John, the dry, low-key senator from Massachusetts, would seem to be an afternoon at the library, his wife makes a point of wringing every drop of joy out of life.
For instance, she's been shadowing her husband's wildly successful campaign across the US not in some black-windowed limo, but in her own chestnut-red private jet, nicknamed "The Flying Squirrel".
Unguarded and outspoken, Teresa has strong views on pretty much everything.
She admits to using Botox - which makes her look far younger than her actual age of 65. She's an advocate of plastic surgery. She thinks Hillary Clinton should have shot her husband for being unfaithful... a particularly interesting view now Kerry is facing allegations of an affair with young intern Alex Polier. She insisted on a pre-nuptial agreement before she married him. She also has an eye for fashion, Chanel suits, designer wraps and dark glasses being her trademark. She speaks in low, hoarse, Eartha Kitt-like tones.
One thing she certainly is not going to be is a presidential doormat. She may be of pensionable age, but she's a fun girl. "She's likely," said one political consultant, "to be the Sharon Osbourne of First Ladies."
True to form, Teresa gleefully announced that when news of one of her husband's victories came through he wasn't exactly in a position to give an instant reaction to the Press. He was sitting on the loo at the time.
Teresa is also mind-bogglingly rich. Her first husband, also called John, was heir to the Heinz tinned food fortune although, when they first met, he would only say that his father "made soup." When Heinz died in a plane crash in 1991, just after their 25th wedding anniversary, Teresa inherited a staggering &L&330million, which buys a heck of a lot of baked beans.
No wonder the few comedians left in the stiflingly serious atmosphere of Washington have nicknamed them "Cash and Kerry." Among her treasures is a collection of Dutch Old Masters paintings so valuable her insurance company will not allow photos to be taken of them. If Kerry does win the US election, Teresa will be the richest First Lady in history. But her first marriage was not about money. She and Heinz were deeply in love. When he died - his plane hit a helicopter and fell into a playground - her whole world fell apart. She'd had a perfect life, she said, "and then, whoa, it's gone. That was so unkind, so unkind."
To cope with her grief she took Prozac and she keeps his memory alive in her name. "Politically, it's going to be Heinz Kerry," she says, adding in typically colourful style, "But I don't give a s**t, you know?"
It was Heinz who introduced Teresa to Kerry, at a dinner in Washington a year before he died. Kerry, who had gone through a painful divorce from his first wife Julia, had a reputation for being a loner, throwing himself into his work. In 1992, he and Teresa, now widowed, met again.
After attending a dinner in Washington, Kerry offered to drive her home. On the way, Kerry stopped the car and took her for a walk in the moonlight past the Vietnam Memorial Wall. Kerry, of course, was a decorated Vietnam war hero and it was typical of the man that even their first "date" should have a serious element.
Three years later they were married. Kerry was five years younger than his new bride and between them they have five children. At first sight you couldn't have imagined a more contrasting couple - but they obviously fulfilled a need in each other.
He gave her stability and comfort, she gave him a way of expressing his hidden, perhaps repressed, personality. Kerry describes Teresa as "very earthy and sexy".
Her overriding quality is openness - sometimes too much so for Kerry's taste. She once mimicked him going through a nightmare, triggered by his days in Vietnam, clutching her head in her hands and yelling, "down, down, down." Friends say they have almighty rows, but are quick to make up. Teresa is a hearty advocate of swearing. "It's a good way to relieve tension," she says.
The pre-nuptial agreement, Teresa insists, is no big deal. It wasn't simply to safeguard her fortune, it is a modern fact of life. "You have to have a prenup," she repeats. "You could be as generous or as sensitive as you want, but you have to have a prenup." The agreement makes clear she will not finance Kerry's political career - unless, that is, his opponents try to smear him in a TV campaign.
Both are political animals. Born in Mozambique, the daughter of a Portuguese doctor, and educated in South Africa and fluent in five languages, she used to be a UN interpreter.
Since her first husband's death, she has helped to run charities worth more than $1billion. She cut her political teeth on anti-apartheid marches at college. And like Kerry her hunger for politics has never left her. But where he is cautious, she is fiery. She once described a political opponent as "Forrest Gump with attitude."
As the campaign hots up, it remains to be seen whether Teresa's candour and attractiveness will turn out to be a help or a hindrance. Because, as Hillary Clinton knew only too well, the candidate's wife can also be of great political importance.
"If you vote for my husband," Hillary said, "you get me. It's two for the price of one." The same with Kerry and Teresa. "I soldier on beside him," she says.
If their march should take them to the White House, you can be certain of one thing at least.
With Teresa around, it ain't gonna be dull.
Teresa also stated that she would MAIM a cheating husband. Given a choice, I would go with the being shot option.
Also if she did suspect Ketchup Boy fooling around on the side, she might have been willing to put up with it if she wasn't humiliated in public. Trouble is, Mrs. Heinz is now being humiliated in public. It won't be long now before the TV comedians start cracking jokes about Ketchup Boy, his young chick, and Mrs. Heinz. I don't think Mrs. Heinz could tolerate the ridicule.
Africa, eh? That's where her husband's (supposedly) girlfriend is hiding. Wonder if there's any connection.
Wonder what her record on apartheid was - and is now?
As an Afrikaner, she may not be in the "mainstream of Democratic political thought".
Nobody can lose control of sanity and grow chaos on the scale a South African can... except maybe an american democrat.. Marxism feeds and grows on them both...
You have got to be kidding. Even on a first date, he makes a point of saying: "you know, I am a Vietnam veteran. "
What a putz!!
Kerry could kick her out of her bed to bring bimbo's in and she would stay with him... until he got defeated.
Then she woud have him drawn and quartered and fed to the hogs.
Teresa wants power. That is why she married boy toy. She will make Hillary look like a woman who will not stand by her cheating man.... until he is defeated.
Not so sure. I don't think public humiliation was part of her game plan. Neither was ending up as the punch line of a lot of hot intern jokes.
That would explain the Mrs. Imus fascination for Kerry and of course Mr. Imus.
This article neglects Mrs. Heinz's predeliction for spreading her late husband's money to left wing causes---very left wing..
No, she might have another husband die in a funky crash with a helicopter in Pennsylvania.
You can bet a lot that when she dies most of the fortune will go to leftist causes.
This is really looking strange. Senator John Heinz was a RINO, I believe. What was his politics vis-a-vis his wife?
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